Jeff's Redskins Review

Interview with Ken Harvey

2011-01-13T21:00:00.001-05:00

It's not often, as a sports fan, that you have the opportunity to have real, honest contact with the players you cheer for. Sure, you feel a connection to a player through game attendance, press conferences, or even Twitter. But there's something very special about talking, one on one, with the people who make you stand up and cheer.

I was fortunate to be able to interview one of the great Redskins, Ken Harvey, recently. It was surprising, friendly, and a lot of fun. Here's my interview, the first video for Jeff's Redskins Review:

The Redskins Review is also now on Twitter: follow me @JeffSkinsReview !

2010 Season Review

2011-01-05T14:29:00.020-05:00

Every team's season contains highs and lows; but because it's the Redskins we're talking about, we have to include the supremely disappointing moments as well. Put on your Redskins gear one last time while viewing the best, worst, and facepalm moments in the 2010 Season Review:

BEST OFFENSIVE PLAY
There were many to choose from, particularly in the early part of the season when #5 was under center. For a period of time, Washington led the NFL in big plays. But the winner is Ryan Torain's 12-yard touchdown run against the Eagles. This play, against a division foe, was the throwback to yesteryear, when the Redskins had the personnel and guts to run the ball in the red zone. The fact that Torain made road kill of Quintin Mikell makes this play all the better. If there's a run that signaled the impending exit of Clinton Portis, this was it. Honorable Mention goes to Donovan McNabb and Anthony Armstrong's connection for a 48-yard touchdown in week five against the Packers.

WORST OFFENSIVE PLAY
While Clinton Portis' phantom fall down in week three against the Rams was a prime candidate for worst play, it simply cannot match the utter despair fans felt in week ten. On Monday Night Football, the visiting Eagles were humiliating the Redskins defense, 21-0 in the first quarter. The Redskins offense didn't have a first down and needed to do something to slow down the Michael Vick scoring juggernaut it, apparently, had not prepared for. The offense came on the field, ran twice for minimal yardage, and McNabb overthrew his receiver on third down. It was the last chance Washington had to put a respectable dent in the lead. The Redskins punted, the Eagles scored moments later, and the fans began streaming to the exits before the second quarter.

BEST REASON TO DO YARD WORK DURING A REDSKINS GAME
In week three, against the one-win St. Louis Rams, the first nine minutes were this: Washington had a punt blocked, lost a fumble, allowed a 42-yard touchdown, had 2 false-start penalties, a crack-back penalty, and were down 14-zip.

BEST DEFENSIVE PLAY
I've called DeAngelo Hall a good, not great corner. But in week seven, he was Madden-esque, tying an NFL record with four interceptions of Chicago's quarterback Jay Cutler. See them all here, but watch his second interception, a one-handed snag that he takes back for a lovely, long touchdown. Honorable mention goes to Hall as well, for his week one theft of Dallas' Tashard Choice for a pivotal touchdown.

WORST DEFENSIVE PLAY
The Redskins' defense finished far, far worse than last season, when it was a top-ten defense. Blame the scheme, blame the coaches, but there's no doubt that the players shoulder every bit of the blame for the week thirteen touchdown against the Eagles. Michael Vick and Philadelphia had already carved the defense like a holiday ham, but this three-yard pass to Jason Avant proved that they were completely outmatched. The defensive line got no pressure, Albert Haynesworth rested on the ground for half the play, at least seven defenders roamed the end zone, and somehow Avant was still open.

BEST SPECIAL TEAMS PLAY
In a season of great returns, Brandon Banks' 96-yard kickoff return for a touchdown in week eight against Detroit stands out most. He showed speed, patience, and even some tackle-breaking ability as he covered virtually the width and length of the football field. Detroit had already given up multiple long returns to Banks; he was simply unstoppable that day.

WORST SPECIAL TEAMS PLAY
Actually, the whole series of plays in this video qualify--in week fourteen, Graham Gano had a horrible kicking day capped by a botched hold by Hunter Smith. His opportunity to redeem the multiple easy kicks missed slipped away, as did the opportunity for overtime. Honorable mention goes to any of the illegal blocks by special teamers that negated touchdown returns by Brandon Banks.

BEST REDSKINS REVIEW PROCLAMATION
Week Two: "The optimist in me thinks that the Redskins can make 8-8; but with this comical running game 7-9 would be impressive."

WORST REDSKINS REVIEW PROCLAMATION
Week Seven: "Donovan McNabb is the best quarterback the Redskins have had in recent memory." Some might say this is actually true. McNabb was on pace to hit 4000 yards while running for his life most snaps. But we never found out due to his benching, and it's likely we'll never know because he'll be wearing different colors in 2011. It would've been nice to see him groom a young kid into being the Redskins' future...

BEST COACHING DECISION
This may come as a surprise, but the introduction of the bootleg-play-action-pass-across-the-field into the offensive playbook was the best of the year for Mike and Kyle Shanahan. It wasn't just effective, it was consistently producing long-yardage and touchdowns. I noticed other teams employing it, I like to believe, after seeing the success in Washington. Here it is against Tennessee, the Texans, the Texans again, and the Jaguars. The greatness of this play lies in the quarterback being mobile enough to make distance between the now-free rushers and strong enough to heave a pass longer than normally necessary. McNabb pulled it off regularly, and tight ends Fred Davis and Chris Cooley made most of their big yardage through it.

WORST COACHING DECISION
It is really tempting to anoint the 3-4 defense as this season's worst coaching decision. The roster was unprepared, untalented, and (it certainly looked) unmotivated to change from the 4-3. Introducing the scheme guaranteed an uphill battle for the players; the result was that the defense routinely gave up 400 yards of offense.

But the worst coaching decision was the week eight benching of Donovan McNabb. With just over two minutes left, and the Redskins down one score, Shanahan inserted Rex Grossman in to run to the drill and pull out a win. First play: Grossman is blindsided (by the defense he hadn't faced all day),Ndamukong Suh picks up the fumble and ices the game with a touchdown. Shanahan's convoluted explanation after the game didn't help justify the bizarre choice.

2010 SEASON HERO
Brandon Banks. I get that Santana Moss had a 1000-yard season and had the second-most receptions in Redskins' history. But Moss had critical drops, some of which hit him squarely in the hands. When the Redskins needed somebody to go out, electrify the crowd and energize the rest of the team, Banks answered the call. It's been awhile since the Redskins had a special player on special teams, a guy whom you could believe could take it to the house on any punt or kickoff return. Banks, if he stays healthy (and gets some help with legal blocking), could be that guy.

2010 SEASON GOAT
Coach Mike Shanahan. The 6-10 season result, his pitiful explanation of his last-minute benching of DJ McNabb, and his decision to keep Albert Haynesworth around indicated that, maybe, he's not the great genius of football operations Daniel Snyder, Bruce Allen, and the rest of the football world proclaimed him to be. He may have had a bunch of square pegs to fit into round holes, but the fan base expected better than a two-game improvement over the Jim Zorn train wreck. We expected the prime-time humiliations to division foes to end.

We didn't expect a playoff birth, but a simple return to respectability. And we got none of the above.

THE GOOD NEWS...
Is that the Redskins are on a potential upswing. They have a decent draft position, they played well down the stretch, and Daniel Snyder will keep Shanahan around long enough to right some of the wrongs of past years. It will take time. Maybe a long time--look how long it took to raise pieces of the Titanic. But Shanahan wants to go younger with this team, not unlike the Tampa Bay Bucs, who went from nobodies to 10-6. The good news is that, with patience and wisdom, anything is possible.

THE BAD NEWS...
Is that the Redskins are still in the NFC East. The Cowchips performed well under interim-now-head coach Jason Garrett, managing to have a better overall record than the Redskins despite losing five in a row. The Giants faded toward the end of 2010, but finished a respectable 10-6. Only two teams in the NFC had better records. And then there's the Eagles, who are favorites to face Atlanta for the NFC championship. Somebody's got to bring up the rear in the division, and in the short term it looks like it's going to be Washington.

Week Seventeen: A Perfect Synopsis

2011-01-03T15:46:00.006-05:00

New York Giants 17, Washington 14

If ever there were a microcosm, a conspectus of the 2010 Redskins season, it was this final game against the Giants. Many of the same elements of frustration that prevented success for the franchise--and joy for fans--were on display Sunday evening. For every positive play that created hope in Washington playing spoiler, there were reminders that Mike Shanahan's team is a work in progress that hasn't progressed nearly as far as anyone hoped. In the end, the the season's final moment was the disappointing view of an opponent in victory formation.

In a month, maybe even sooner, this game will be nothing more than a statistical notation. But a closer examination of this season finale explains a lot of what's good and what's bad about this team:

Rex Grossman, for example, was good enough to be called a professional quarterback but made the errors that assured that he shouldn't be a starter in Washington. His final stat line included more than 300 passing yards and a gorgeous 64-yard strike to Anthony Armstrong. But he also had two fumbles, an interception, and couldn't lead his team into field goal range with two minutes left. His performances in the last two weeks were hardly an indication of the "he knows the system" advantage coach Shanahan has reminded us of all season.

Santana Moss was Grossman's favorite target, finishing with nine catches for 74 yards. And while it's proper to celebrate his fourth season of more than 1000 yards, he had another fourth-quarter error, a red zone fumble.

Then there's the coaching: offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan ordered ten rushes in the first half for Ryan Torain, and the running back averaged a solid 4.8 yards per carry. In the second half, with the game still close, Shanahan got Torain the ball just eight times more while Grossman attempted 29 passes.

And let's not forget the so-called best defensive back on the Redskins' roster, DeAngelo Hall. He had a decent game in run support, finishing with four solo and two assist tackles. But for all of his continued claims that he wants to be matched with the opponent's best receivers, he failed miserably in defending the Giants' last good receiver, Mario Manningham, on a 92-yard touchdown.

Perhaps the best symbol of what the 2010 season has been like was in the first quarter, when Torain and the offense responded to the Giants' first score with a ground-game attack. The drive pounded into the red zone, and the offense, as it has done all season, fizzled. On came Graham Gano, he who has won multiple overtime games for Washington, for a chip-shot 30-yard field goal for the tie. Gano's kick went horribly wide left, and Washington never came closer to tying the game.

As usual, the Redskins were good enough to make fans believe they could win but lacked the talent to actually pull it off. Here's to eight months of improving on the latter.

SCORECARD
OFFENSE: C. I would be very interested to see if Mike Shanahan really believes that Grossman provides a better chance of winning than Donovan McNabb.
DEFENSE: B+. They didn't give up 400 yards and kept an uninspired Giants team from running away with the game.
Sp. TEAMS: B-. At the stadium, there was a noticeable increase in energy when Brandon Banks took the field for punt returns. At times it seemed like he was one of the few players who has heart.
COACHING: C. For all the criticism leveled at the coaches, their players (backup and starter) came ready to do battle in recent weeks.
OWNERSHIP: C. Another rainy game, another day without free ponchos. The 2011 magnet-calendars are hardly consolation prizes. And what's with the #5 jerseys still being sold for $90.00 in the Redskins store...?

NEXT UP
The Best and Worst of the 2010 Redskins season, my interview with Redskins great Ken Harvey, and reviews of the eagerly-expected NFL playoffs.

Week Sixteen: The Expendables

2010-12-27T12:04:00.007-05:00

Washington 20, Jacksonville 17 (OT)

When the Redskins' season gets to this annual point--where the team is far from playoff contention, many of the early-season starters are benched or injured, and it's a holiday weekend--the motivation for players to play and fans to watch can be lessened. This year, despite the change in managerial and on-field leadership, Washington found itself in a similar place to Jim Zorn and Jason Campbell's team from a year ago. In week fifteen of the 2009 season, the Redskins were pummeled on (surprise!) national television by the New York Giants, 45-12, in front of new GM Bruce Allen.

This season, for reasons to be debated well into April 2011, the Redskins stood their ground and pulled off an underdog win against a playoff aspirations. That was inspiring. What made it even more poignant (and watchable) was that Mike Shanahan fielded a team missing many of the best players on the roster--LaRon Landry, Brian Orakpo, Clinton "Remember Him?" Portis, and Donovan McNabb.

Like the real-life version of a team-up of Sylvester Stallone, Terry Crews, and Jet Li, it was The Expendables who pulled off what hadn't been done but five times all season: play a full 60 minutes and win. During the game, the broadcast team joked with the truth that Mike Shanahan and the coaching staff weren't sure of all the names of players they were using. But it was practice squad and castoff guys named Rob Jackson, Macho Harris, and Byron Westbrook who made plays while veterans like Chris Cooley and Rex Grossman had average or sub par games. Jackson, for example, went from not being on the practice squad weeks ago to making three solo tackles and forcing a fumble.

The Jaguars offense, minus Maurice Jones-Drew, had everything to play for but were held to 17 points, 78 rushing yards, and just 336 yards. (Yes, 336 isn't much to be proud of...unless your defense routinely allows 400 yards per game.) Moreover, the Redskins defense provided relentless pressure on quarterback David Garrard, sacking him four times and influencing his worst throw of the game, an interception in overtime.

After Rex Grossman's touchdown-a-thon against Dallas last week, the question in most fan's mind was whether the backup-now-starter was part of the Redskins' future winning equation on just another jersey you'll find on the clearance racks like Donovan McNabb's. The answer, after a medicore, 19-for-39, 182 yards, one touchdown/one interception day, is...don't waste your money. Contrarians might argue that Grossman's numbers are negatively affected by Cooley's four-drop day, which included an easy touchdown.

But when the game was on the line--the dreaded two-minute drill that Shanahan said McNabb hadn't grasped for most of the season--Grossman led the offense to produce one first down, burn a minute and thirty seconds, and produce four net yards before punting. The third down completion issues from McNabb's leadership continued, as Grossman's team went 0-for-7 before finishing 4-for-15. Hardly an upgrade. How about starting John Beck against the Giants and see what happens?

But this day belonged to the second and third-stringers, who confirmed that this season isn't the total flaming mess of last year. (It's a mess without the flames.) And part of the difference, as shown in the last two weeks is that they players are playing for themselves, their pride, and their fans. Rob Jackson, when asked what this victory meant, put it best: "it means that we've got a lot of potential, a lot of upside."

SCORECARD
OFFENSE: C. Why the Redskins ran on 24 of their 64 plays is a mystery for Kyle Shanahan to explain. Torain remains a solid back and should be in the backfield discussion come offseason.
DEFENSE: A. Carlos Rogers nabbed his first interception in forever, the defense got four sacks, and, most importantly, won the game. What more can you ask for?
Sp. TEAMS: B. The punting game was adequate, but isn't much better than when Hunter Smith was playing. Kicker Graham Gano gets his third game-winner and can breathe a little easier.
COACHES: B. Kudos to coach Shanahan for playing his young guys and for Jim Haslett for continually mixing blitzes. The D was energetic, aggressive, and effective.

THIS WEEK'S SIGN THAT BROADCASTING FOOTBALL TRUMPS PLAYING IT
The Philadelphia area was blanketed by blizzard-like conditions on Sunday, and the NFL postponed the Minnesota Vikings/Eagles game until Tuesday. The NFL's statement cited road safety and stadium clearing as reasons for the postponement, not player safety or impossibility in playing the game. With modern technology, the game could have been played. Instead, the NFL knew they'd lose out on lots of revenue if the seats are partially empty for their nationally-televised game. Even the governor of Philadelphia disagreed with the postponement.

It wasn't that long ago--okay, forty years ago--that the NFL decided to man up and was rewarded with one of its greatest games ever: the Ice Bowl Championship game of 1967. The wind chill was minus-36 degrees, the surface was rock-hard, and the referees' whistles froze right after kickoff. And you know what? They played anyway, because it's football and football is played regardless of the weather. (Um, unless there's lightning.) Who knows how the legends of that game--men like Vince Lombardi, Tom Landry, Don Meredith, Bart Starr and Ray Nitchske--would have been viewed if they preferred to make sure everyone could see the game instead of just playing it? The NFL should remember its own history...

Redskins photo courtesy NFL.com, the Ice Bowl courtesy Sports Illustrated.

Week Fifteen: Half Full or Half Empty?

2010-12-20T09:57:00.010-05:00

Washington 30, Dallas 33

Well, this was unexpected. Given the dwindling hope, negative media attention, and prominent roster change, it was easy to assume that the Redskins would walk into Dallas and provide another lackluster, disappointing performance. Instead, the team looked, well, unusually competitive and competent. But is this one day symbolic of anything substantial, or is it simply Fool's Gold? Let's look at the major headlines from the game:

Mike Shanahan: Genius All Along?
The facts are indisputable: Washington produced their best comeback of the season, twenty points, against their biggest rival, on the road. With Shanahan's choice for starter, Rex Grossman, at the helm, the offense was a perfect four for four in the red zone and converted two-point conversions for the first time in years. When previous Redskins teams would've folded like a cheap tent after a deflating first half, Shanahan's squad rallied to not only make it a game, but could actually have won. (Yes, when you've only won five times all season, you cherish every single one of them.) So maybe we cut Shanahan some slack, let him choose his starting quarterback, defensive linemen, and schemes when and how he likes.

On the other hand...the Redskins needed that wonderful comeback because his offense was indeed absent for most of the first half. Dallas had triple the time of possession and a 13 point lead by halftime. And despite a few defensive stands, the Shanahan/Haslett 3-4 scheme has once again allowed over 400 yards of opponent offense. Dallas spent the first half in the Redskins' red zone, and had they been just a bit more efficient, the final score would have certainly topped 40 points. None of this is a prescription for a winning game.

And let's not gloss over the disrespectful mismanagement of Donovan McNabb, which continued right into the game's beginning. Despite benching McNabb, Shanahan asked him to participate in the ceremonial coin toss. In a show of exceptional maturity and poise, McNabb did so. Why Shanahan would demote a player, then ask him to represent the team--what an awkward position to be asked into--is further circumstantial evidence of the minimal professional respect for McNabb. Hardly a genius maneuver there.

Finally, let's not forget that this was still a loss to a division rival. For all the philosophical and structural changes made, the Redskins are 5-9, just one game better than they were last year, and are again sitting at the bottom of the NFC East once.

Rex Grossman: One Day Sale or Long Term Investment?
It's been a long time since the Redskins have witnessed a quarterback have a four-touchdown game. And hardly anyone predicted that Grossman would be the man to provide it. But on Sunday he finished with a very respectable stat line (25 for 43, four touchdowns, 2 interceptions, one fumble) and placed the team in position to complete a comeback. His second-half poise, particularly in the red zone, was the difference between scoring touchdowns instead of field goals. His perfectly-thrown pass to Santana Moss was dropped, but it could have capped an exciting, game-winning drive.

But let's not forget...that Rex is equally as capable of tossing interceptions as he is throwing touchdowns. His last season as a starter, 2006, shows him having four games with three or more interceptions. In three of those games, he didn't have a touchdown. It was widely considered that the 2006 Bears made the Super Bowl despite Grossman, not because of him.

Before Sunday, Rex's last relevant action as a starter was in the third preseason game against the New York Jets. After the game (a loss, by the way), Shanahan celebrated Grossman's decision making, quick release, and understanding of Kyle Shanahan's scheme. The reality was that he had third down passes deflected at the line, was solely responsible for a safety, fumbled on a sack, and sometimes tossed right into clear double coverage.

His career touchdown day against Dallas needs to be viewed in light of the two turnovers he had that led to 14 Dallas points. The offense looked no better than under McNabb for half the game, and if the Redskins are going to dream of being competitive against the NFC East's best, that's not going to be acceptable.

There is no denying that, for at least one moment in time, Grossman proved to be a winning hand. Let's see how he does against Jacksonville.

SCORECARD
OFFENSE: B. It's an outstanding grade, considering that they were outplayed badly in the first quarter. But 30 points is 30 points. Ryan Torain again proved that he is dangerous in the open field and can make roadkill of opposing secondaries. If he can stay healthy in 2011...
DEFENSE: D. Lost in all the Grossman and Shanahan talk is the continual mediocrity of the defense. For all the upgrades on offense, if this defense can't stop anyone from putting up 350-400 yards per game, well, it's all for naught.
Sp. TEAMS: C. I'm sure many fans were praying that Brandon Banks would save the day with an outstanding punt return in the fourth quarter. It was not to be, though the special teams coverage and punting was adequate on the day.
COACHES: C. Kyle Shanahan, to his credit, called some great plays, including a blitz-beating screen to Ryan Torain. Also, I get that you go with what you think will work against an opponent. But the eleven Torain rushes are exactly why the Redskins fell behind in time of possession and points. Lastly, is it me or did Shanahan seem surprisingly happy after a loss?

THIS WEEK'S PROOF OF WHO'S BEST IN THE NFC EAST
The East provided not one but two close, down-to-the-wire finishes on Sunday. On the road in New York, the Philadelphia Eagles scored not one, not two, not three, but four touchdowns in the final seven minutes on their way to securing a hammer lock on the NFC East title. For those who haven't seen the miracle finish, it's breathtaking, even if you can't stand either franchise. The Eagles may not have the best record in the NFL, but I'm certain that, after the Patriots, they're the team you least want to play.

Photo courtesy NFL.com

Reasons # 545, 546, and 547...

2010-12-17T14:49:00.010-05:00

...on why you have to be crazy to be a Redskins fan. For the four people in Des Moines, Iowa, who aren't familiar with the bad reality show that this franchise has annually been, here's a small slice of the ridiculousness endured by the burgundy and gold faithful:

Reason #144: Daniel Snyder hires Marty Schottenheimer to run the highest-payroll team in the league. Though starting 0-5, the team rebounds to finish 8-8, made the cover of Sports Illustrated and actually began smelling the playoffs. Snyder immediately fires Schottenheimer.

Reason #182: Starting quarterback Gus Frerotte scores a touchdown against the rival Giants, but cannot finish the game due to a self-inflicted head injury created when he celebrated by slamming his head into a wall. Without Gus, the Redskins finished the game with a tie.

Reason #201: Deion Sanders wears a Redskins uniform. 'Nuff said.

Reason #391: In the midst of yet another losing streak, Daniel Snyder bans fan-made signs at FedEx Field. Parking and beer costs remain the same.

Reason #402: Head coach Jim Zorn calls one of the worst plays in NFL history, where his punter takes a snap and, without any blocking, launches a desperation pass into the general direction of three opposing players. What's worse is that Zorn set the play up, the opponent called a timeout, and coach Zorn re-ran the play anyway. Result: an interception and national lampooning.

One might think, "Hey, weeping only endures for a night, right? I mean, the Cincinnati Bengals and New Orleans Saints fans didn't wear bags forever...give it some time while [insert coach/GM/QB here] gets things together." You would be wrong. The names, numbers, and press conferences may change, but the results are the same. Here are, sadly, more Reasons You Have to Be Crazy to Root for the Redskins:

Reason #545: Two days after mishandling an extra point snap that would have helped provide game-tying points, punter Hunter Smith is fired. His numbers this season weren't spectacular, but he demonstrated honesty, ownership, and consequence for the error. He also had nothing to do with the offense's inability to score in the red zone, or kicker Graham Gano's inability to make easy field goals, both of which would have removed the necessity for Smith to make the failed play. So does Shanahan dump the kicker, or consider letting Smith go post-season, given that they're fourteen games into a losing season? No. Coach Shanahan dumps Hunter Smith and brings in some new guy. How refreshingly honest was Hunter, on his way out the door? Here's some of what he had to say to TBD's Parker and Parker:

"Am I a scapegoat?" Smith repeated. "I believe that in the NFL, there are a couple of different types of teams out there. There are some teams that display undying loyalty to their coaches and players. There are other teams that tend to want to make a little more of a statement in times of quote-unquote tragedy or something like this going on, by making an example out of somebody, by partially putting the blame on them for the loss. And I'm not saying that the Redskins are completely that kind of a team, but in this sense, I think that it does come down to that..."

If there's one thing the Redskins are good at, it's straightening the artwork on a sinking Titanic.

Reason #546: An interesting article at the Washington Post revealed a little-publicized fact about the Redskins: they are one of the few teams in the league who don't have a dedicated indoor practice facility. When the weather turns sour, as it did on Thursday when snow moved through the Washington area, practices are moved to odd venues like basketball courts or, in some cases, canceled. The article notes that in this season alone six separate practices were moved or postponed due to bad weather. Or more specifically, practices were altered because the Redskins lack the basic facilities with which to prepare for games.

Seriously? Daniel Snyder owns one of the top money-making franchises in the most popular and profitable sports franchises in America, yet hasn't kicked out the cash so his team can prepare in less-than-ideal weather? Is it any wonder that the Redskins are 5-17 since 2008 in games after November? How is it that this team, in this climate, in this division, doesn't have anything comparable to its rivals, whom they're guaranteed to see twice a season? As a fan, wonder no more why the Eagles, Cowchips, and Giants mop the floor with the Redskins. But hey, at least FedEx Field has new giant video screens.

Reason #547: The Donovan McNabb Era has come to a close, with him on pace to reach 4000 yards, and in possession of a Redskins franchise record for consecutive games with a passing touchdown. It's hard to believe, but Mike Shanahan has officially benched McNabb, placing him behind Rex "Wrong Answer" Grossman and unknown commodity John Beck. Shanahan can't guarantee that DJ McNabb is coming back next season and McNabb's agent is furious, calling the move "beyond disrespectful."

There are plenty of angles with which to view this national-attention-grabbing story. (Was it justified? Why do this now, before a game against rival Dallas? What does this reveal about Shanahan's egotistical hold on his players?) But the must hurtful one is this, and it's a familiar one for longtime Redskins fans: Here. We. Go. Again.

If it's not Albert Haynesworth, Mark Carrier, Jeff George, Joe Gibbs, Steve Spurrier, or Dana Stubblefield, it's Adam Archuleta, Brandon Lloyd, Mike Shanahan, and, now, Donovan McNabb. This show is as scripted as "The Real Housewives of Washington, D.C." Regardless of the so-called philosophy, this franchise continues to pay big money and get small results. The veteran walks in town, takes money, and, by hook or crook, flies out quickly to new pastures with fatter pockets.

And the fans are fools for ever paying $80 for their jersey. They sport the colors on their car, they buy the Christmas ornaments, they spend three hours every Sunday hoping that the inevitable won't happen.

You have to be crazy to do that.

ONE LAST THING:
For the record, it was noted here at the Review, on April 5th, a note of caution about McNabb's trade to Washington. It bears republishing, if for nothing else than it's sad prophecy:

Now the Philadelphia front office won't admit it, and I'm sure head coach Andy Reid won't divulge the truth even under a cheesesteak lie detector test, but it's clear to me that the Eagles think that McNabb's best days are behind him...the Eagles did more than just trade a guy because they thought his skills were in sunset. No, they traded their franchise quarterback to a hated division rival who they knew had questions at quarterback. McNabb isn't going to Kansas City, a team they play once or twice every four years and has minimal effect on their overall record. He's landing with a team that impacts their Super Bowl chances at least twice a year.

In his post-trade press conference, Coach Reid spun a carefully crafted web of "been a great player here for 11 years...set every record you can set for this organization...nothing but good things to say about him...we're doing what's best for Donovan..." and other oddly pleasant reviews of McNabb's work in Philly. Which raises the question: if he's been that good, why let him go? This guy got you to the playoffs with no-name receivers and then again with managing the cancerous Terrell Owens. Might their training staff know something about McNabb's past injuries that the Redskins don't? Could the Eagles think McNabb is really toast?

Simply put, are little green men with wings on their helmets going to jump out of Donovan's [backside] and sabotage the Redskins' season?

Photo courtesy the Bleacher Report.

Week Fourteen: Rough Torain

2010-12-12T22:25:00.008-05:00

Tampa Bay 17, Washington 16

Mike Shanahan and the 2010 Washington Redskins have been trying to establish some sort of identity, some form of consistency that defines the team. Are they a deep threat, high-powered offense, as shown against the Texans? Is their defense all about giving up yards but forcing turnovers, like the Indianapolis loss? Or are the hard-hitting special teams the x-factor that can snatch victories from defeat?

In Sunday's loss to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers (dropping the Redskins to 5-8), what became clear to fans is that whatever persona this team is going to establish will require a whole lot of their patience. The kind of patience necessary to sit in more than three hours of cold, rain, and wind, only to see a game lost on the simplest and most fundamental plays in football. Pack a ~~valium~~ lunch, Redskins faithful. It's going to be a long, difficult, rocky road.

The easy person to pin this loss on would be Graham Gano, who missed or nearly missed, every extra point or field goal he attempted. To his credit, he admitted that this was the worst game of his career. The weather should mitigate some of that criticism, but it's hard not to point a finger at any kicker who misses two easy field goals that would have kept the home team comfortably ahead. (Meanwhile the Bucs' kicker, Connor Barth, went 3-for-3, including a 44-yarder.)

The Donovan McNabb offense is more to blame. The stat line for the quarterback wasn't too bad--22 for 35, 228 yards, 2 touchdowns--but it doesn't begin to show how inconsistent he was. He was skipping passes off the ground often, and, ironically, if two of them hadn't been poorly thrown, they would have been easy pick-six interceptions for Tampa Bay. When Ryan Torain and the offensive line got the ball in six-point striking distance, the team consistently ran out of gas. After dominating the first half in production, they had ten points instead of 28. The offense disappeared in the third quarter, and ran the ball for just 12 net yards in the second half.

London Fletcher and the defense did a solid job holding back Tampa Bay from mounting a comeback, but they again neared 400 yards of offense allowed and gave up the winning touchdown with less than four minutes to go.

The good news, from this landfill of a season, is the emergence of running back Ryan Torain. In the Week Six review, Torain was crowned the future franchise rusher, and his return to the lineup certainly confirmed that coronation. From his first carry back from injury, he was in strong form. He patiently picked his holes, he ran through arm tackles, and he had a burst of speed when in the open field. He was positively Maddenesque in his first half production (18 rushes, 158 yards, 8.8 yards per carry) and seemed a lock for 200-225 yards and a touchdown by game's end. What you might notice in his highlight reel, however, is how the score barely changes.

These are the Redskins, so instead of preparing for Tampa Bay's halftime adjustments to the run, the burgundy and gold decided to more than double their first half pass attempts. Torain rushed just six more times for 14 yards. Sure enough, the Bucs won the time of possession battle in the second half and it was Washington scrambling down the field to try to tie the game.

Nonetheless, this may be the game that solidifies Torain as the favorite to run the rock in 2011. He's one of the few bright lights on this dark, frustrating road ahead.

SCORECARD
OFFENSE: C. This offseason should be very interesting. Keep McNabb but draft a young QB? Draft only o-linemen? Find compliments for Moss and Armstrong? Jettison Portis? Every area needs help.
DEFENSE: C. Perhaps LaRon Landry's presence is more vital than anyone originally thought. The D allowed young Josh Freeman to continue to look like a future star in the league.
Sp. TEAMS: F. Their only good play of the game--a much-needed return by Brandon Banks, was foiled by a penalty. Otherwise, it was muffed routine plays, missed field goals, and ineffectiveness.
COACHING: D. It's tempting to think back to the Gibbs days, when in cold, rainy weather, the offense would pound the ball and eat up the clock. Kyle Shanahan put the game in the hands of his QB, and the results were unnecessarily dramatic.
OWNERSHIP: C. Would it hurt to have cheap, Redskins-logo'd free ponchos for fans when they've decided to spend their Sunday afternoon in the rain, rooting for your out-of-the-playoffs franchise?

THIS WEEK'S FINAL WORD
...comes from Facebook. The Redskins, like every other business in America, has their own page on the social networking site. During and after games, they post updates and results. The comments section, particularly after losses, is where fans get to lay bare their frustrations with the team and ownership. After Sunday's loss, this comment surmised the burgundy and gold experience: "The biggest problem with being a Redskins fan is that when you run into someone who wants to talk $^%*, there's really nothing you can say back to them."

Week Thirteen: Holiday Wish List

2010-12-06T15:01:00.011-05:00

Washington 7, New York Giants 31

A long, long time ago, back before there was Facebook, compact discs, and online shopping, Sears printed and mailed a Christmas Wish Book to homes across America. The Wish Book was, for children, like receiving Moses' stone tablets every year. The two-inch thick book, containing the latest toys and video games, provided hours of childlike planning, dreaming, and coercion. It was the singular source for wistful hopes of happy days.

The Washington Redskins are, after another embarrassing division loss, hopeless. The offense is rudderless, the defense is a sieve, and the best guy on special teams is the size of a high school senior. You know a game day performance was the center ring in a Cirque de Suck when the dominating story on Monday is who didn't contribute to the horror.

The fans of the burgundy and gold deserve much, much better. They have been demanding it, in various and sometimes hilarious formats, for years now. But until someone with more money usurps owner Daniel Snyder's power, well, all there is left to do is dream. The Redskins Review has been pouring over the 2010 season like an old Sears catalog. Here, then, in the spirit of the season and the futility in not being able to do much else, are the Top Five Wishes for the Washington Redskins. (Cue the Johnny Mathis...)

1. Find us players with heart, who care about winning more than themselves. Let's get this out of the way now: "Albatross" Haynesworth should be the last high-priced, massive-ego free agent ever hired for the Redskins. His training camp, preseason, and in-season selfishness should be immortalized on a poster in Ashburn, Virginia, with a warning that if anyone acts this way, begin cleaning our your locker. His marginal statistical line and salary should be laminated and charted in the head coaches' office. #92's story is well known: he doesn't want to show up for camp, he can't pass conditioning tests, he whines about having to play 3-4, he doesn't start, he gives half-effort when finally playing, and he shows up late for mandatory team meetings. Oh, and he is the highest paid defensive player in the NFL.

He is, unfortunately, just one in a sad history of poor choices by the "talent evaluators" at Redskins Park. It's easy to poke holes at Daniel Snyder, whose checkbook funds this madness. But he doesn't scout, and he doesn't watch film of free agents. That's Gibbs/Zorn/Shanahan and their staff's job. Apart from London Fletcher, it hasn't been pretty. That must end. Now and forever more.

There's a chap in Pittsburgh who, on national television, took to the field against a top defense and pulled out a thrilling win in freezing temperatures. He did so with a poor defensive line, no running game, linebackers in his face, a bad ankle and an in-game broken nose. When was the last time the Redskins had anyone that dedicated?

2. Call some plays that require pelotas de acero. End the passive, let's-hope-we-can-get-these-seven-yards-on-third-down-with-a-screen-pass mentality that's been pervasive in this and recent seasons. Sure, the Redskins are currently less talented then Auburn, Oregon State, and that blue team from Boise. But does that mean that Kyle Shanahan can't call unexpected, oh-no-he-didn't stabs at yardage? What do we have to lose? Respect?

Now let's use a little wisdom; we're not talking about calling the Worst Play Ever, courtesy Jim Zorn. We're talking Joe Flacco launching not one, but two 60+ yard pass plays on third down from inside the Ravens' own five yard line. That's play calling that says "Screw it, we're here to win this football game. And if we fail in the process, it won't be because we didn't pull out every stop to try."

And speaking of wishing for offense...

3. Get us a Steve Smith. That's right, Steve Smith. If the Redskins are going to keep old, backside-of-their-prime players on the roster, let them be fearless, soft-handed guys who still can challenge a defense. That's Steve Smith to a tee. At 31, he can still stretch a defense and has the will to play the game, despite being with the less-than-prolific Carolina Panthers. (That alone earns him kudos.) Santana Moss, by comparison, is also 31, the same height, weighs around twenty pounds more, and strikes a quarter of the fear in opponents. Don't even mention Joey Galloway.

Now it's true that Smith hasn't always been a model player or teammate. But his commitment and fire when playing the game at its highest level are unquestioned. The Redskins need to give Donovan McNabb a strong-minded target he can count on; the career-worst season he's having is coinciding with having to work with some of the worst receiver talent in his career.

If that Steve Smith-esque guy could be 6'5", that'd be nice too.

4. Call it old-fashioned, but return to Redskins football. The old heads remember the days when the offensive line dictated the offense. Regardless of what happened in the first half, fans knew that after halftime, Washington would run, run, run, and then run some more. Kind of how the Giants did on Sunday.

The NFL goes through its phases of so-called success. Some seasons it's about the scrambling quarterback, others it's about the deep pass, some seasons it's about special teams. But one truism is that a strong running game will always keep you in contests. Old coaches used to say that “When you throw the ball, three things can happen—and two of them are bad.” For the Redskins, that 66% usually slides up to around 85%.

So let's wish that Washington finds a Peyton Hillis: a 3rd year, 24-year old back who is, as this video shows, all about "running guys over and scoring touchdowns." He is athletic enough to juke or hurdle, yet with the sheer strength and weight to make road kill of a safety. He is everything Redskins running used to be about.

If Ryan Torain remains healthy enough to be that kind of back, let's use this wish instead to hire solid second and third string offensive linemen.

Last, and most fancifully...

5. Can we get a one-team lockout for 2011? The NFL Players Association recently recommended that players store away their game checks due to the likelihood of a lockout next season. It's wishing a lot, but how about the Redskins simply sit out next season and rebuild? That's right, they forfeit the games in 2011. Dont' dress anybody. Keep the lights of FedEx Field off in the fall and winter. There won't be the excitement of a September kickoff...but there also won't be the inevitable frustration when they lose to a clearly inferior opponent.

Furthermore, there won't be offseason free agent nonsense, no inflated preseason posturing, no disappointing losses to division opponents. No snarky media fixation on the yearly Redskins circus.

In place of the inevitable embarrassments, the fans get to watch Mike Shanahan and the coaching staff dismiss the ineffective, overpaid, and unmotivated. He can actually devise an offensive and defensive scheme using the talent he brings in. Daniel Snyder and Bruce Allen actually get to manage a process without the pressure of having to concurrently deliver on the goods.

Sounds pretty good, doesn't it?

There's no SCORECARD this week, on account of the complete failure by the offense, defense, and special teams to reach a level of mild productivity. McNabb, when he had time, wasn't accurate and fumbled. The receivers, when they got the ball, couldn't hang on or catch it. The defense allowed 200 rushing yards to two guys and an offensive line missing three starters. The special teams couldn't stop Redskins castoff Devin Thomas from blocking a punt. The coaches have now lead this team to two massive, inter-divisional blowouts in the last month.

THIS WEEK'S LAST WORD
...goes to John Riggins. On his postgame show, he had this wonderful quote: "This team may not win another game. You may be looking at 5-11. I joked that they are getting better each season...one game at a time. So by the time they become a winning team, we'll all be dead."

Photo courtesy NFL.com

Week Twelve: Par For the Course

2010-11-28T18:51:00.008-05:00

Minnesota 17, Washington 13

There's an old southern saying, "water will seek its level," that suggests that, given enough time, you can tell the real from the fiction. It means that, after all of the hullabaloo, subjects always reveal their true nature.

The 2010 Redskins are 5-6, and the record represents the pure mediocrity of the the team. They have the talent to usually be competitive, but will rarely win outright without the timely congruence of multiple favorable circumstances.

On Sunday, the favorable circumstances were present, but the Redskins' lack of talent in all three phases kept the Redskins below .500, exactly where they deserve to be.

For one shining moment--seven minutes and fifty-three seconds, to be exact--Mike Shanahan's offense functioned on all cylinders and looked very much like the squad expected at the beginning of the season. Even without Clinton "Elsewhere in 2011" Portis and a healthy offensive line, DJ McNabb ran Kyle Shanahan's creative offensive attack to perfection. Kyle dialed up the first appearance of the Redskins wildcat (though " warpath" has a better ring to it), the offense was four-for-four on third down, and McNabb was a perfect eight for eight with one touchdown.

...And that was the end of the offensive show. Washington didn't attempt a deep pass until the fourth quarter. The offensive line allowed McNabb to return to his run-for-yer-life mode and didn't open up many lanes for the nameless backup running backs. The Skins produced a very Indianapolis Colt-like 29 yards of rushing...but without the crisp passing and receiving. Santana Moss and the receiving corps weren't much help, dropping far too many catchable passes and not gaining enough separation to be a threat to the Vikings' secondary.

The defense, to its credit, provided the weak offense with multiple opportunities to beat Minnesota. They even took the Vikings' biggest threat, Adrian Peterson, out of the game. But all wasn't roses for Jim Haslett and his squad. On a critical third down, the 3-4 personnel showed its weakness: Favre (who may or may not be fifty years old) is able to scramble for the first down, largely because linebacker Lorenzo saw Favre break out of the pocket...and ran the other way. The only logical explanation is his desire to cover a receiver. (For the record, this is is just one of quite a few times when Alexander and the other lineman-turned-linebacker, Andre Carter, have blown containment because they've looked awkward in their assignment.) If Alexander's told to simply rush the passer or contain the run, Favre doesn't come near that first down.

And while the defense can be proud that it limited the Vikings' somewhat-potent offense to just 17 points, they did let Peterson's backup, some guy named Toby Gerhart, plow through defenders for his first NFL touchdown...just like the All-Pro did in the first quarter.

And then there's the special teams, who won the game with accurate field goals and continued brilliance from Brandon Banks. That is, until they lost the game with a low-talent penalty by rookie Perry Riley that nullified a Banks touchdown that would've put the Skins ahead.

Perhaps it isn't fair to judge a team by its record. Look at the San Diego Chargers who were once 2-5, then 5-5, then stepped up to future Hall of Famer Peyton Manning and dismissed them on national television. In Indianapolis. The Bolts are a team that has learned to gel using the talent on hand and deserve the respect of a 7-4 or even 8-3 team.

The Redskins should be taken at face value.

SCORECARD
OFFENSE: C-. This mere suggestion of a running game is big trouble for McNabb and the offense. It's hard to believe that, six months ago, the Redskins were looking at three Pro Bowl veteran running backs on its roster. Come January, it'll be time to bring in all new talent to compete with Ryan Torain for the starter.
DEFENSE: B. Something doesn't feel right about applauding their success in not giving up 400 yards, but here it is. Congratulations!
Sp. TEAMS: A-. For all the big contracts, big names, and big egos on the roster, it's refreshing that one of the leaders for team MVP is a little guy who joined as an undrafted free agent.
COACHING: C. If this group of coaches can pull a playoff berth out of this current roster, I'll take back everything I've said about them this season.
OWNERSHIP: C. There were an unusually-large amount of empty seats at FedEx on Sunday. Have the fans said that $4000 is too steep a price for mediocrity?

THIS WEEK'S MADDEN PREDICTION
Just for fun, ESPN has Madden 11 run through each week's games and posts the predictions. Nice that they use the current rosters. I'm afraid to download the last update, which removes every semblance of a decent Redskins running game. To the game's credit, it wasn't too off on the final score. with the Vikes victorious: 19-16.

Photo: AP/Pablo Martinez Monsivais

Week Eleven: Give Thanks

2010-11-23T11:08:00.004-05:00

Washington 16, Tennessee 13 (OT)

The good news for Washington, after their historically bad performance against the Eagles, was that they still have seven games with which to find redemption and finally establish a recognizable identity. Facing the 4-5 Tennessee Titans, fans wondered two questions: how will this team respond? And should I care?

The good news is that the Redskins played with strong effort, displayed moderate levels of competency, and, most importantly, with the win gave fans a reason to not begin eyeing Baltimore Ravens merchandise.

The game certainly started off for the offense like a Monday Night Football hangover: on the first play, DJ McNabb drops back, trips, and it's a 7-yard loss. Next play: incomplete pass to Clinton Portis. On 3rd and 17, offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan calls a run. And just like last week, the offense goes nowhere behind confusion, poor execution, and timid play calls. Add in a horrendous 22-yard punt, and within five minutes, the Redskins look like they're prepared to surrender many more first-quarter points.

Then one of the most significant plays of the game happened. With the Titans in the red zone (they only needed one 14-yard Chris Johnson run to get there), quarterback Vince Young scrambled up the middle to avoid the collapsing pocket. Lorenzo Alexander, the play-any-position standout, came from Young's blind side and purposely slapped out a fumble, which was recovered by Washington. This averting of sure opponent points (though they were earned not much later by the Titans on a punt return) was a much-needed sigh of relief, showing that maybe, just maybe, the Redskins have glimmers of possibility left in the season.

And while the rest of the game wasn't always as inspiring, there was much to be proud of. Mike Shanahan motivated the team in overcome multiple pre-game and in-game injuries and win over a favored opponent on the road. Moreover, the battered and short-handed offensive line was unexpectedly strong, helping Washington to improve in their habitual worst area of performance: third down conversions. The Redskins dominated time of possession (40 minutes to 26) because they were able to convert 50% of their third downs. The o-line were able to give McNabb time to launch his 50 pass attempts, which helped Santana Moss have one of his better games of the season (6 catches, 106 yards, 1 touchdown) and for Joey Galloway, Chris Cooley, and Brandon Banks to actually contribute to the production.

The other piece of good news for the Redskins is that they aren't alone in facing difficult times. The burgundy and gold may not be good, but the purple and gold of Minnesota are on a year-long path of self-destruction. While Washington was considering changes to its coaching staff, the Vikings were nursing the wounds of a Super Bowl birth thrown and fumbled away. Their fans then watched an offseason sideshow featuring coach Brad Childress and the organization toyed with by Brett Favre; they begged him to return with a multi-million dollar bonus, then personally escorted him back. Ten weeks into the season, Favre and the Vikings are the NFL's biggest letdown, and the locker-room and organizational infighting wasn't helped with the month-long hiring of the cancerous Randy Moss. After Sunday's 31-3 home loss to the Green Bay Packers dropped the Vikes to 3-7 , Childress and their post-season hopes were shown the door. Now the team is left to go through the motions and start looking at 2011. And it's only Thanksgiving.

The Redskins faithful should pause during this holiday season and be thankful that even with the prime-time failures and confusion, the team could be a whole lot worse.

SCORECARD
OFFENSE: B-. Credit the offensive line again for opening up 100 rushing yards and for giving McNabb the rare luxury of time to throw. The inspired yards after catch by underused tight end Fred Davis were refreshing to see as well.
DEFENSE: B+. The pundits were sure that Vince Young, Chris Johnson, and the Titans were going to gouge the secondary for 20+ points. It wasn't pretty, and they were helped by facing a rookie quarterback, but the defense got the stops they needed.
SP. TEAMS: C+. How kicker Graham Gano comes up as short as he did on the last kick in regulation is disappointing. That he came back and booted a similar kick to win makes it all better.
COACHING: B. I've been critical of Kyle Shanahan's play calling, but I liked seeing the shovel-pass to Moss, the insertion of Brandon Banks, and the well-executed screens.

THIS WEEK'S UNANSWERED QUESTION
What exactly is Mike Shanahan's plan for Albert Haynesworth? Last week #92, the highest-paid defensive player in the NFL, had an embarrassing, nationally-mocked half-effort against the Eagles. This week, facing his former team, he doesn't start and is minimally used. Has he been disciplined for his effort? Is his knowledge of the defense so small that he is no longer considered start-worthy? What's going on?

Week Ten Part 2: National Embrarrassment. No Joke.

2010-11-17T13:12:00.006-05:00

Being a Washington Redskins fan is a torture unlike any other in the National Football League. To root for the burgundy and gold, in the last decade or more, is to wish upon a dream that has long since passed. It is to visit weekly with a childhood friend with whom you now have little in common, except the wonderful memories of sunny days, smiles, and simpler times.

For the fortunate fans who witnessed the Redskins of the 1980s and early 1990s, they saw a franchise that grew from its inconsistent but exciting 1970s into a continual contender. All the Super Bowls, NFC Championships, and playoff appearances produced a pride based in the trust that Jack Kent Cooke, Joe Gibbs, Bobby Beathard, and the front office knew what they were doing. Players like Darrell Green, John Riggins, Russ Grimm, and Doug Williams may not have been the most talented to play the game, but fans could trust that they gave their all on Sunday. And they found ways to give a little more against a division foe. That franchise of those Glory Days earned and kept the respect of the league.

In the last eleven seasons, this franchise has descended below mediocrity, below embarrassment, way down into the once-unimaginable depths of national joke. The mocking barbs once leveled at the Cincinnati Bengals and Detroit Lions now aim toward Washington. It seems that nearly every national sports publication snickers at the Redskins.

And why shouldn't they? Daniel Snyder's ownership has produced seven coaches and two playoff wins. None of those coaches ended their tenure with better than a .500 winning percentage. The team has spent millions on the retreading of veterans like Jason Taylor, Deion Sanders, Bruce Smith, and, yes, Donovan McNabb. Young talent like Ryan Clark, Brandon Lloyd, and, yes, Jason Campbell were cut by the Redskins and miraculously play better elsewhere. Offseason after offseason the franchise brings in new saviors who either aren't given enough opportunity to shine or never shine at all: Steve Spurrier, Marty Schottenheimer, and, yes, Mike Shanahan. For every Sean Taylor or Brian Orakpo, there are draft choices traded away into nothingness.

Monday night's disaster was further notice that Redskins fans have been duped. While fleecing fans for more money, they have been spoon fed Glory Day nostalgia to believe the next high-priced defensive end is Dexter Manley. Or that Joey Galloway is really Downtown Charlie Brown. The marketing machine creates new anniversary jerseys, runs jumbotron montages, and produces DVDs of days long, long gone.

Then the franchise puts a team on the field that is a mere shadow of those men of respect and ability. And has the nerve to remind the bewildered to vote their favorite player for the Pro Bowl. Maybe fans will get to that when they finish considering where this loss falls in the pantheon of embarrassing Redskins losses. That is, if they can drown out the national chorus of laughter, the charges of aimlessness, and the second-guessing of leadership.

Ah, but the joke is on you too, Daniel Snyder and Washington Redskins. ESPN, ABC and the NFL Network don't continually schedule your team for nationally-televised games because they might win or potentially play well. You're there because your franchise is considered a bumbling circus sideshow whose inevitable failure makes for good ratings and easy, mean-spirited ridicule. Emperor Snyder has no clothes, and the media is laughing all the way to the bank.

As always with this team, there remains a glimmer of hope. Perhaps Mike Shanahan is just rusty in his ability to give plausible reasoning at press conferences. And maybe Bruce Allen really has a plan to build the team with quality young players, not just old ones. It might be that Daniel Snyder isn't sticking his nose in player issues and announcing contracts for maximum media buzz.

At this point, it's doubtful.

Week Ten: Shanahilarious

2010-11-15T22:25:00.012-05:00

Philadelphia 59, Washington 28

This loss, before a national audience, wasn't bad: it was historically bad. It was the worst first quarter by a defense in NFL history. Philadelphia Eagle Michael Vick had a performance unseen in the history of the NFL (300+ passing yards, 50 + rushing yards, 4+ passing touchdowns, 2+ rushing touchdowns). The Redskins gave up the most points in a half in their history and allowed the most first quarter points by a visiting team in NFL history. The Eagles celebrated the most points in a half in franchise history.

Even the stats that aren't records indicate a total, Republicans-over-Democrats shellacking: just over fifteen minutes into the game, Philadelphia had five touchdowns (more than Washington would score all night) while the Redskins had run just twelve plays for 23 yards. Vick was his own Human Highlight Reel, finishing the first half with a perfect quarterback rating.

But really, in the end, what matters are two things: how it happened and who is responsible. Fortunately, both questions can be answered with three words: Shanahan's staff failed.

The Redskins coaches, blessed with two weeks to prepare, strategize, and practice, put a team on the field that looked like it had just finished playing Detroit an hour before the Philly game. They were ill-prepared, unresponsive, and unmotivated.

If Mike Shanahan can't prepare his team in two weeks to play a division rival, at home, on Monday Night Football, then why is he being paid $35 million? How is he any better than quarterback coach-turned-head coach Jim Zorn, who was cheaper and didn't hire his son to run the offense? Spare us ESPN commentator John Gruden's effusing over Shanahan and his Super Bowls ("[He's] a great coach. He managed the bye well..[but it's] his team that has not played..."). The proof is in the pudding, and on the biggest stage the Redskins will see this season, he and his shiny Denver Super Bowl trophies comically failed.

Kyle Shanahan's offense were a phantom success. When the game mattered--the first quarter--the play selections were stale flatulence. How bad did it stink? Here's the first quarter: Vick throws an 88-yard touchdown bomb, Washington calls three run plays. Punt. Vick's offense runs five more plays, all different: touchdown. Washington has a 1-yard screen pass, a rushed 7-yard completion, then an interception as McNabb runs for his life. Vick and offense show variety and the series ends with a shovel pass, touchdown.

Young Shanahan's offense, down 21-0 and on the edge of being blown out, walks on the field and attempts two rushing plays and one pass, which was overthrown. Punt. Total output after three series: 21 yards.

Folks, the game was over right then. Moments later, the icing was on the cake when Philly no-name running back Jerome Harrison galloped 50 yards through a half-hearted defense for a touchdown. Shanahan's eventual offensive response--deep passes--came too late to sufficiently impact the deficit.

As for defensive coordinator Jim Haslett, he was completely outcoached by Andy Reid. Sometimes it looked like Riverdale Baptist high school had invited Boise State to a scrimmage. The defense was on its heels for nearly all of the first half: they didn't stop Philly from scoring at will until 35 points later. But until then, Reid's playbook was completely unstoppable. Reverses worked. Shovel passes worked. Draw plays worked. Deep passes worked. Screen passes worked. Runs up the middle worked.

Haslett has answering to do when his players allow over 1000 yards and over 90 points in two weeks.

The worst moment, in a night filled with horrific moments, came after halftime. ESPN's Suzy Kolber reported that she spoke with both coaches during the half. Andy Reid, when asked what his strategy would be while leading 45-14. "Score more points," was his reply. When Kolber asked Shanahan about his team, he was at a loss in explaining the record-setting first period.

"Do you have any ideas?" was his reply.

Ha ha, coach of a national laughingstock. Hilarious.

SCORECARD
OFFENSE: D-. McNabb's strong arm and elusiveness are the saving grace from F-ville. (Sorry Keiland Williams, score your touchdowns outside of garbage time, thanks.) The bigger question is whether those traits are worth a new five year contract...
DEFENSE: F-. This play encapsulates the defense's night: Vick has seven seconds to pass due to no rush, Haynesworth doesn't care enough to get up and pursue, and the nine guys playing the pass let a receiver open for a touchdown. Egad.
Sp. TEAMS: C. Lorenzo Alexander was a lone bright spot, crushing a kick returner as he did last time the teams met. Brandon Banks looked like 75% of his pre-surgery self. He really needs that other 25, apparently.
COACHING: F. Give Shanahan a modicum of credit for beginning his press conference with the understatement of the season: "I didn't get the players ready."
OWNERSHIP: F. Daniel Snyder's years of mismanagement earned him the privilege of watching his team play the fourth quarter in front of Eagles fans.

THIS WEEK'S FINAL WORD
...goes to my brother, who drove four hours from Virginia to attend the game, only to be so disgusted that he left early and drove another four hours back home. "I asked a guy next to me in the second quarter [as fans began streaming out], 'if the Skins score and no one is in the stadium, does it count?' "

Photos courtesy WashingtonPost.com and NFL.com.

Week Eight: Gross(man) Misconduct

2010-11-01T09:44:00.005-04:00

Washington 25, Detroit 37

Since taking over a 4-12 franchise, coach Mike Shanahan has enjoyed virtual carte blanche in reshaping the 2010 Redskins. Whether it was in shaping the roster (adios, Rock Cartwright and Antwaan Randle- El), rubber stamping the schemes (hello, 3-4 defense), or choosing his starters, Shanahan's powers have been unlimited and immune to the criticism that his predecessor routinely faced.

But on Sunday, Shanahan pulled a move so bizarre, so unprecedented, that it defied all conventional strains of football logic. Even more, it guaranteed a loss to the one-win Detroit Lions, dropping Washington to a modest 4-4 record. In legal terms, it wasn't just wrong to do--misconduct--but it rose to the level of gross misconduct: so outrageous that it shocked the conscience.

Here's the scene: with just under two minutes left, the Redskins had the ball at their own 25 with plenty of timeouts. On the previous two drives, Donovan McNabb and the offense turned the ball over and failed to convert a fourth down. Nonetheless the Redskins were down just six points. Shanahan sends in Rex Grossman, not DJ McNabb, to orchestrate a winning drive. On the first play, Grossman is blindsided and coughs up a fumble that is easily returned for a touchdown. The game is essentially over.

Naturally, the first question asked of Coach Shanahan in the post game conference was why he benched a healthy McNabb. Shanahan's explanation was straight from the Andy Reid Short Answer 101 course: he thought that Rex knew the two minute offense better, that Rex gave them the best chance to win, and that his gut told him to do so. That was it.

Gastroenterology aside, this explanation is pure nonsense. Rex Grossman may have more experience in offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan's offense due to his work with the Texans, but he has zero regular season snaps and didn't outplay new-to-the-scheme McNabb in training camp to even be considered the starter. Grossman's knowledge doesn't trump in-game experience; he hadn't seen the Detroit defense coming at him, except when a play happened to go out of bounds where he was standing with a clipboard and orange Gatorade. Yet he was called upon to walk in, cold, with 1:45 left and win a game.

Has there ever been a time when a coach replaced a healthy starter this way? This isn't baseball, where a hot closing pitcher can be called up in the bottom of the 8th. Even if it did exist in the NFL, Grossman isn't such a specialist. If he were that good, he wouldn't have bounced from Chicago to Houston to Washington.

In short: if Grossman's the answer, you're probably asking the wrong question.

To be fair, it is true that McNabb's performance wasn't great against the Lions. He was out of sync with receivers on some occasions, he awkwardly tripped twice on snaps, and he did little to improve the Redskins' next-to-worst third down conversion percentage. Under his leadership the team is horrific in red zone scoring and touchdown efficiency. And one can deduce that the reason the Washington defense allows so many yards per game is because they tire from being forced on the field by the ineffective offense.

But let's be real: the blame for the Detroit loss falls on many shoulders, not just McNabb's. The offensive line couldn't protect for the pass, couldn't provide for the run. Snap after snap, Detroit was able to get pressure on McNabb, sometimes without blitzing. The FOX broadcast reported that of his 36 dropbacks, there were five sacks, eleven hits, and ten hurries. That leaves just ten passes where McNabb wasn't having to save his hide from Ndamukong Suh and company. Because the Redskins couldn't run, they faced an average third down of more than ten yards.

If Shanahan wants to truly evaluate McNabb's performance, how about he look at the two dropped two-point conversions by Fred Davis? If he wants to look for scapegoats, why not mention coach Jim Haslett, DeAngelo Hall and the secondary, who apparently decided to let Detroit's best receiver, Calvin Johnson, punk them all day? The "best chance to win" wouldn't have been necessary if Philip Daniels doesn't jump offsides on a field goal or Reed Doughty doesn't negate a kickoff return with a penalty.

Even worse, Shanahan's decision sends a powerfully negative message to his supposed franchise quarterback: I can singularly blame you for the failures of my offensive line, receivers, defensive backs, and assistant coaches. Sure, coach confidently said that McNabb is his starter after the bye week; but his action suggests that McNabb may be on thinner ice than even he realized. And that's just unconscionable.

SCORECARD
OFFENSE: C-. Something's very wrong when your longest, non-QB rush of the day is eight yards. And don't look now, but Chris Cooley is quietly having a mediocre season of dropped passes. The o-line should have been made to walk home from Detroit..
DEFENSE: C+. Orakpo and the defense didn't put much heat on a rusty Matt Stafford, which let Calvin Johnson have a career day. Yet they still gave the offense a chance to win.
Sp. TEAMS: B+ Brandon Banks is smelling like a rookie steal. Twenty more pounds on him and he might be able to break more tackles.
COACHING: C. The coaches had little answer for the front four of Detroit, didn't adjust coverage on Johnson, and sent in the backup to win the game. Sadly, they still did better than Zorn's crew from a year ago.

THIS WEEK'S MADDEN MOMENT
Talk about odd: in my Madden Redskins franchise, I cleaned house of much of the current roster after winning the Super Bowl. (I went 16-1, thank you very much.) I made sure to keep Brandon Banks on the roster for season two, and though he's only a 55-rated wide receiver he's a 95+ speed rating. And just this week I finally got him to score a kickoff touchdown. On Sunday, the real Banks was dominant and finally returned a kick for six. Well done, sir.

Week Seven: Cover Your Eyes

2010-10-25T14:23:00.003-04:00

Washington 17, Chicago 14

It's funny how life tends to repeat itself. Six years ago, almost to the day, the Redskins played the Chicago Bears and I was unable to fully review the game due to various intrusions into my football watching. (Actually, it was shopping with family.) I worked around these annoyances by employing my then-ten-year-old sister in law to take notes on the game. With marginal results. Nonetheless, the Redskins won by three and a substantial Redskins Review was produced.

On Sunday, the Bears and Redskins met, and again this thing called "life" frustrated the reviewing process. (This time there was a confluence of a sore back, an unfulfilled promise to purchase a new pet, and Comcast's choice not to bother airing the game.) And once again I employed a ghost writer--this time a wee older--to take copious notes on the Redskins' performance. And wouldn't you know it: the Redskins won by three.

Here then, are my brother's notes on the Redskins' very, very sloppy win:

There was a period in time where I wondered who wanted the game less. Started with a pass from McNabb making the rookie mistake of throwing while being dragged down for a pick-6. He didn't look as good as he has earlier in the season.

Thank goodness for the second coming of John Riggins, aka Ryan Torain. He looked great for a lot of the game, when we chose to run. Orakpu is our star on defense, continuing to collapse the pocket, and it looked like the Mad Genius had learned nothing. That didn't last. Martz actually learned by the middle of the second quarter that the long ball was not to be, and went with 3 step drops and quick slant passes. The Redskin D had no answer to it. Thank goodness halftime came, as the defense continued to unravel.

Jay Cutler reverted back to a year ago in the second half. He was our 12th mam, throwing an INT after every miscue of ours. Hall's 4th pick (all 2nd half) was a pick-6 and the last score of the game, as athletic as the INT the Colts had at the end of our last game.

Torain earned his paycheck (as well as Clinton "wish-this-was-two-hand-touch" Portis' paycheck) by running hard and getting 1st downs at the end, where normally we would end up running into a wall 3 times and punting.

Our run game is slowly looking like a Shanahan team. Armstrong isn't quite a go-to receiver yet, with a crucial drop. Moss was blanketed, McNabb's true security outlet. Maybe that was why he didn't play well.

Top performers:
Torain - he should keep the starting job even when Portis is healthy.
Hall - gambled the whole game, and beat the house.

Coach of the game - whoever it is that's in charge of special teams. Never kicked to Hester, ALWAYS out of bounds. Net yardage looked bad (how DO those refs figure out where it really went out of bounds?), usually netting 20-ish yards, but the alternative........

I think Haynesworth has an allergy to leather oblong shapes - you'd see him on the field, but never near the ball.

Well said. A few notes of mine: I like the Ryan Torain/John Riggins reference. Last week I compared him to Stephen Davis, a downhill runner who could plow over defensive backs and had just enough agility to make a man miss. Riggins ran much like that, too, though I can't recall him ever juking a player. He did have that extra, magical gear in his youth that I hope Torain finds. His second 100-yard performance is a great sign.

Second, the Redskins were fortunate that Jay Cutler and his receivers were so awful. Credit DeAngelo Hall, whom I've called good, not great, for his record-matching day. But Chicago's receivers didn't finish routes, didn't come back for the ball, didn't, well, help their quarterback avoid looking horrific.

Third, DJ McNabb is the best quarterback the Redskins have had in recent memory. But he is, as my Pops said, "sporadically brilliant." That means that the rest of the time you're hoping he throws the ball higher than shoetops and doesn't launch deep passes into double coverage. That said, he's a rare quarterback who can avoid a blitzer for just the one second he needs to get off a pass. I'll take that over the Jason Campbell-Patrick Ramsey-Todd Collins statuesque passers who simply took hits from linebackers.

I'll forego the Scorecard this week, instead to pass this important note: this may be the only week when Redskins fans maybe, just maybe, might root for Dallas to win. They face the NFC East-leading Giants on Monday Night Football. A win for the Cowchips puts Washington in a tie for first place.

Photo credit: Johnathan Newton/Washington Post

Week Six: If You're Gonna Lose...

2010-10-18T10:44:00.011-04:00

Indianapolis 27, Washington 24

Mike Shanahan and the coaching staff will meet sometime in the film room after Sunday night's loss to the Indianapolis Colts. The coaches will see the Washington defense allow 469 yards of offense, including 170 rushing. They'll watch their offense drop catches and fail to take advantage of multiple Colts turnovers. And they'll have to accept the embarrassment of a prime-time loss on national television.

When the video stops and the lights come up, if they have any sense, they'll crack a small smile and say, "Hmph, that was pretty good!"

The coaches will say that because they (and their observant fans) know that the 2010 Washington Redskins are of mere moderate talent. While the players have tremendous heart, hit hard, and are good enough to create some fortune, they don't yet belong in the same class as the NFL upper echelon. Indianapolis has lived in that realm for years now, and they proved it on Sunday. The Colts are deep at receiver, devastating at defensive end, and are lead by one of the best field generals ever to play the game.

But Shanahan has to smile because his flawed team showed something too: they can not only play with the best of the league, but take them to the wire. Every game has its positive take-aways, but the coaches can pump their fist about these from Sunday night:

(1) Ryan "Rough" Torain is the future running back for the Redskins. How fitting that Torain wear #46, which looks much like the #48 worn by storied back Stephen Davis. Like Davis, Torain is a large, solid downfield runner who simply can't be taken down by arm tackles. Torain showed patience for blocking, held onto the ball, and, unlike Clinton Portis, didn't need to be helped off the field after every third run. Torain, whose name wasn't on the lips of fans during the preseason, has emerged as a key component in the offense's balance. If he can work on his pass blocking, avoid fumbles and stay healthy, he can become yet another in Mike Shanahan's long list of prosperous runners. Even better, he can become everything this offense needs. His touchdowns from Sunday make the NFL films' highlights, but he had multiple plays where he broke away from tacklers to avoid a loss. The Redskins haven't had that powerful a back since, well, Stephen Davis.

(2) The defense, horrid though it may statistically seem, continues to put the Redskins in a position to win. The box scores don't tell the tale of the loss on Sunday. After all the yardage and points allowed, the fact remains that when London Fletcher and the defense needed to force second-half turnovers for Washington to have any chance of winning, they got two fumbles and a sack. When McNabb and the offense needed to get the ball back late in the fourth quarter, the defense forced Manning into a rare three-and-out. Slice it how you like, but defensive coordinator Jim Haslett's guys are like an old hymn: they may not come when you want them, but they'll be there right on time.

(3) The future is brighter than even the coaches might have thought. The Redskins of previous seasons (seriously, just pick one in recent memory) wouldn't have had much of a chance in keeping Sunday's game close. Tthose teams were, with some exceptions, stocked with high-profile veteran free agents who were either poorly coached, unmotivated, or both. The team that faced down the AFC Champion Colts wasn't expected by many to take out Dallas, Green Bay, and Philadelphia. And they nearly stole another win, even without Albert Haynesworth, Rocky McIntosh, and Portis. Might unsung players like Anthony Armstrong, Brandon Banks, and Torain be honored at Homecoming in 2025?

SCORECARD
OFFENSE: C. McNabb can't ask for a better circumstance than three timeouts, two minutes, 57 yards for the win, 30 yards for field goal range. To come up empty is a reminder that the offense still needs work.
DEFENSE: B. During halftime, I tapped a note to myself: "Can we have an error-free 2nd half? No drops? Grab every loose fumble? Can we keep Manning off the field?" Mission, largely, accomplished. Also, I will henceforth refuse to mention Carlos Rogers' name until he gets an interception.
Sp. TEAMS: B-. I love the tone that the Special Teams set, pounding runners and forcing turnovers. I can't remember a year when this squad has had this kind of literal impact.
COACHING: C+. If I were gameplanning against aggressive, sack-happy defensive ends, I would have called draw plays often. It's safer than a play action pass, which may roll into the aggression, and it forces the ends to think about whether to head upfield or hang back. Washington called, by my count, two. One on a throwaway 3rd and long.
OWNERSHIP: B. My Pops and I got to the stadium early, anticipating the Homecoming parade featuring Rick Walker, Darryl Grant, Mark Moseley, and other Redskins greats. I never saw the parade, but I did get ten Hooters wings for $10, the best value of any food at FedExField. Thanks, Danny.

THIS WEEK'S MADDEN MOMENT
This week's moment is a no-brainer, a catch that only happens when you have the Madden receiver skills turned up. In fact, it's superior to Randy Moss' effortless one-handed grab while a Patriot earlier this season. Indianapolis Colts receiver Pierre Garcon got open (as he was most of the night), and with a full extension catches the nose of the football in his right hand and completes the reception. It was like watching magnetism at work in a science museum.

Photos courtesy NFL.com, NBC, and, um, me.

Week Five: Grand Theft Gano

2010-10-10T22:21:00.008-04:00

Green Bay 13, Washington 16 (OT)

At some point in the 2010 season, the Redskins will win a game as underdogs over a high-quality opponent. They will do so by coming from behind and, through sheer willpower, create their own lucky bounces. When that happens, it will be celebrated as a team rising to the occasion and demonstrating its inner strength and character.

For now, a win like the one on Sunday is pure thievery.

The Green Bay Packers had, for much of the game, the dominant defense and the more talented offense. The Redskins looked like their consistently inconsistent selves, unable to run, protect the passer, or slow down their opponent. After the first quarter, the Redskins had a tenth of the Packers' yardage, hadn't completed a third down, and was getting beaten by backup tight ends and wide receivers. They had no answer for the Packers' blitz. By halftime, Washington was down 13-3, but Donovan McNabb was running or his life from an unrelenting and undeterred Green Bay defense. McNabb's best completion of the half (in which he was again scrambling) was for 52 yards, nearly half of his thirty-minute total. It was a wonder that the game's outcome was still in question.

But in all of this, something odd was slowly occurring: the Redskins' much-maligned defense, one of the worst in the league, bent badly but refused to break. It stood its ground at the goal line, pressured the great Aaron Rodgers into poor throws and influenced receivers into dropped passes. The Washington offense, whose production seemed to be limited to three-and-outs and third-and-longs, found a way to sneak in critical completions of more than 20 yards. A rookie wide receiver, third on the depth chart, played like a veteran in the fourth quarter with game-saving catches.

And behind the clutch kicking of Graham Gano, the Redskins yanked an improbable, thrilling victory out from under a projected NFC champion.

Washington had a lot of help from Green Bay: there were stretches where even their veteran receivers couldn't hold onto easy catches; the coaching staff didn't choose to control the clock with the run, and kicker Mason Crosby missed two field goals, one to win the game.

In postgame interviews, the Packers had the dazed look of a man who has an alarm on his Porsche but still woke up to find it sitting on cement blocks. Green Bay just knew they should have won. “We just let an opportunity slip away,” receiver James Jones said. “There is no explanation for the way we lost this game. We lost it ourselves."

But might it be that the Redskins aren't great, but good enough to pickpocket a win from even the best?

-------------------------------
SCORECARD
OFFENSE: C+. DJ McNabb is an exciting quarterback. But he's also capable of "spotty brilliance," as my Pops puts it. With the empty running game, offensive production is squarely on his shoulders. He's got to complete more of the easy throws. Anthony Armstrong is a work in progress but he could be the one-on-one jump ball threat that Devin Thomas hadn't become.

DEFENSE: A. Another near-300 yard day by an opposing quarterback? 157 rushing yards allowed? And they get an "A?" Yep. LaRon "Hit Stick" Landry and Brian Orakpo held a strong offense to 13 points and got stops when they needed. A consistent offense would help the defense's rating tremendously.

Sp. TEAMS: B. Punter Hunter Smith and returner Brandon Banks can join Gano in taking a bow.

COACHING: B. The point was made in the radio postgame discussion that Mike Shanahan and the coaching staff are using essentially the same tools Jim Zorn had last season. (McNabb being the notable exception, of course.) But they're getting better results. I agree. In previous seasons, this game's a loss, with Washington allowing catches on tipped balls and giving up critical sacks. Or missing field goals. Or having pass interference penalties. Or dropping interceptions. Or...

OWNERSHIP: A. Wins like these further cement the brilliant idea by Daniel Snyder to let other people run the team while he signs the checks.

THIS WEEK'S MADDEN MOMENT
I'll suspend my Madden moment this week in favor of the pure hilarity of a postgame moment in the FOX Sports studio. You know who works there: Terry Bradshaw, Howie Long, Michael Strahan, Jimmy "Extenze" Johnson, and the guy in James Brown's seat. In their round-robin about the game, Terry, Howie, Michael and Jimmy all went on about Green Bay's loss due to injuries, penalties, third down conversions, and solar flares. No mention of the Redskins, you know, playing well enough to take advantage of all those mistakes.

When they finished lamenting Green Bay's loss, the guy in James Brown's spot said, in effect, "Guys, last week we said the Eagles lost because of no Michael Vick. This week we're saying that Green Bay lost to the Redskins because of no Clay Matthews. When are we going to start taking Washington seriously?"

What erupted was a cacophonous five seconds of blubbering, side-stepping, faint praise, and empty sports cliches from all four commentators. "Oh yeah, well coached...lot of heart...McNabb...stepping up...I've always thought...a Shanahan team always...great victory..." I haven't seen this much shufflin' since the '85 Bears.

Photo courtesy Getty Images

Week Four: Better to Be Lucky...

2010-10-03T22:00:00.006-04:00

Washington 17, Philadelphia 12

Here's the awful truth about the Redskins' win over the Eagles: as well as they occasionally played, Washington was once again very, very beatable. Another game that could have been favorably finished by the early fourth quarter came down to one heart-stopping play. At 2-2, they are one holding penalty and one strangely dropped pass from being 0-for-everything. That's nothing new for the 2010 Shanahan Skins, whom my wife described thusly: "win or lose, you need Alka-Seltzer and Tums just to watch them."

On the other hand, here's the glorious, unexpected truth: the Redskins aren't 0-4. They sit atop the NFC East with wins against arguably their strongest division opponents. Factor in that one of those was against the stinkin' Cowchips and other was on the road and Redskins fans have to be happy with their team.

This is a team, however, that has yet to define itself in consistently positive terms. (The negative terms, sadly, are very consistent. More on that in a moment.) One week Donovan J. McNabb is unstoppably accurate, nearing 500 yards of offense. This week he's skipping passes off the turf and leading open receivers out of bounds on deep throws. For half this season, Clinton Portis and the running game is a laughable non-factor; this week he and Ryan "Rough" Torain are breaking off ten-yard runs like it's the Joe Gibbs era. One week the defense gives up just seven points, the next two weeks they give up 30 each.

This inconsistency means that no lead or great performance should be taken for granted while time remains on the game clock. At halftime, the narrative for the Redskins' first half performance was "The Redskins Reach Shanahan's Expectations." The first nine minutes of the game were a complete flip of the pitiful nine minutes in St. Louis: a 51-yard put return, a red zone touchdown, and a crushing ground game.

The second half was thirty minutes of offensive futility and defensive fatigue, it's narrative: "Let's Hope They Get Lucky." Just like the previous three games, Washington failed to run the ball well enough in the second half to tire their opponent. And don't bother asking them to score after halftime: they have just one touchdown and two field goals out of all four games.

Meanwhile, the defense has given up--get ready--five touchdowns and six field goals in the second half of those games. For those mathematically challenged, that's 13 points for the Redskins, 53 for them. Not to put too fine a point on this, but Washington has been outscored by 40 points after halftime. Fatigue has to be a factor, but let's not discount that the personnel in Jim Haslett's 3-4 looks as ill-fitting as Denise Huxtable's faux-Gordon Gartrell. (Ask Theo.) Former pass rushers Andre Carter and Lorenzo Alexander are now in pass coverage and have little chance of keeping up with slot receivers, much less snatching an interception. They look slow, plodding, and vulnerable.

So, yeah, it is better to be lucky than good sometimes. On Sunday, the Skins were fortunate that the dynamic Eagle Michael Vick went out with an injury, fortunate that backup/starter Kevin Kolb was rusty, fortunate that the referees saw more significant penalties by Philadelphia, and really fortunate that a last-second hail mary pass fell into DeAngelo Hall's arms.

The 2010 Redskins will take wins any way they come.

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SCORECARD
OFFENSE: C+. Clinton Portis seems to be getting hurt after every other rush; perhaps that's why his role in the offense seems unstable. Might his body be showing signs of decline?

DEFENSE: B-. What's scary is that when an opponent desperately needs to move the football, the Redskins' defense lets them. But holding Philly to no touchdowns until three minutes remained is admirable.

Sp. TEAMS: B-. Hallelujah, there were no missed kicks, no fumbled snaps, no unblocked rushers, and a sparkling return from 5' 7", 155-pound Brandon Banks. But the punting left much to be desired.

COACHING: C. As noted above, Shanahan and company were outcoached in the second half for the fourth straight game.

THIS WEEK'S MADDEN MOMENT
The last-second hail mary drop by Jason Avant manages to best even a Madden moment. In the video game, receivers have a tendency to make a catch and, as an immediate tackle graphic occurs, drop the ball to the turf. I've often watched the game replay, wide-eyed, saying to no one in particular, "He HAD the ball! How did he drop it?" Philadelphia said that very thing on every FOX slow-motion replay of Avant. I watched it and said "He got not one but TWO gloved hands completely on the ball. How does he not catch that?" Shocking, considering that, according to reports, Jason Avant doesn't drop anything! Maybe that's only during drills.

Redskins photo courtesy: Toni L. Sandys-Washington Post

Week Three: Different Team. Same Result?

2010-09-26T19:13:00.011-04:00

Washington 16, St. Louis 30

Last week I explained that the 2010 Redskins were, through their first two games, creating four fears for the NFL and their own fans. At the conclusion of Sunday's loss to the St. Louis Rams, allow me to add one more, this one the most cringe-inducing:

Fear #5: The Redskins are the same #@$%@ team we booed off the field last season.

You remember them: Jim Zorn's boys lost to bad or rookie quarterbacks, allowed previously unknown backups to have their career best days, squandered opportunities through failures to perform the basic requirements of football, and, generally, made the worst teams look better than they really are.

(Boy those were tough years.)

Now, before we succumb to fear #5, let's remember that the 2010 team is just three games into a season. To suggest that the Shanahan Era Redskins are the same as the Zorn Era Redskins (and, one might argue, the modern-era Redskins) is a wee presumptuous. The current football product is an amalgamation of a new scheme, new coaching, and new leaders. Even the ownership seems to have turned a leaf. So at its essence, the present can't be the past.

But on Sunday, the circumstances were eerily familiar, the results uncomfortably predictable. They faced a Rams team that had one win in its last 28 games. The Rams had a rookie quarterback, no star wide receiver and got less than half a game's production from its star running back. Their best safety was out with an injury and even their fans didn't seem to want to show up for the contest.

Yet, in true Zorn fashion, Shanahan's Redskins still managed to lose. Badly. Before garbage time padding, Washington had virtually half the plays, half the time of possession, half the yardage, and half the points of St. Louis. New defensive coordinator Jim Haslett's mighty 3-4 defense, which had some success against two top-shelf quarterbacks, managed one measly sack of the rookie. New offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan's offense ran well in the first half, disappeared in the second half, and converted--get ready--one third down.

It gets worse: in the first nine minutes, the Redskins had a punt blocked, had lost a fumble, allowed a 42-yard rushing touchdown, had two false-start penalties, a crack-back penalty, and were down 14 to nothing. Egad.

The second half adjustments for Washington? How about zero sacks of Bradford, zero red zone touchdowns, sixteen unanswered Rams points, and nearly four yards a carry for backup Kenneth Darby, a chap who in three years had never rushed for a touchdown?

The hope, naive though it may be, is that this loss represents the Low Point Before the Ascent. That coach Shanahan looks back at the 2010 season and can say "I told everyone that it was a new day, and the Rams game was the last time we reminded anyone of the old days." That unlike the past, the Redskins won't find new, stomach-churning ways to lose to the lesser and narrowly fail to the better.

But with a team currently giving up huge yardage, barely able to run, and relying on field goals, it's hard to believe that this is the worst. History says to buckle up. It's gonna be bumpy ride.

SCORECARD
OFFENSE: D. 1/10 on 3rd down, 0/3 in the red zone. That's all you need to know.

DEFENSE: D. Now's a good time to ask DeAngelo "This is my defense" Hall how Mark Clayton and some guy named Danny Amendola managed to move the sticks on him. How bad did the Rams control the Redskins' defense? After kicking a field goal in the second quarter, the Redskins ran 32 plays, the Rams 73.

Sp. TEAMS: C. Graham Gano stepped in for an ailing Josh Bidwell, so positive points here. But the weekly foul-ups in blocking or ball handling are inexcusable.

COACHING: F. OK, so Portis averages more than five yards per carry in the first half but in the second half he's relegated to 3rd downs while backup Ryan Torain gets the rock? And where was Jim Haslett's adjustment to Bradford's series of short passes or Darby's consecutive rushes in the second half?

THIS WEEK'S MADDEN MOMENT
It's nice to see a Madden moment work in Washington's favor. After achieving a first and goal at the one yard line, the Redskins defense held St. Louis to a field goal attempt. At the snap, 310-pound Philip Daniels hurdles the offensive line and is practically standing straight up while blocking the kick. I've had all of one field goal blocked in my years of playing Madden, and it happened just like that. It was shocking in a video game, even more so in real life.

Photo courtesy John McDonnell-The Washington Post

Week Two: Be Very Afraid

2010-09-19T20:29:00.010-04:00

Houston 30, Washington 27 (OT)

When your team allows twenty unanswered points and nearly 500 yards at home on the way to losing a practically won game in overtime, there are plenty of people to blame. Some even call it a repeat of last season's Zorn-rific choke to New Orleans. Contrarians are preferring to celebrate what appears to be an excitement that hasn't been seen in Washington in nearly ten years.

I prefer to view these 2010 Redskins as...scary. I've seen enough football and horror films to know when to trust my fear-fueled spider sense, which tells me that something ain't what I thought it would be. In lieu of What Worked and What Didn't Work, here's what, if I'm the rest of the NFL, just might make 'em shake in their shoes:

Fear #1: Donovan J. McNabb is still a top-ten NFL quarterback, and it was the steal of the offseason for Washington to have him. Every dollar of DJ McNabb's contract was verified by his outstanding performance on Sunday: 38 for 48, 426 yards, one touchdown, and zero turnovers. Throw in the absolute lack of run support--more on that fear in a moment--and you have one of the best Redskins quarterback performances in a decade. The Philadelphia Eagles may have found a stopgap to their QB troubles in Michael Vick, but I guarantee you they saw McNabb's performance and felt a twinge of fear and regret. How good is McNabb? Even ancient Joey Galloway is a deep threat. DJ is the Man of the Game.

Fear #2: The Redskins' 3-4 defense looks like it's been in Washington all along. There was concern in the offseason (and, frankly, in the preseason too) that coordinator Jim Haslett's adjustment to the traditional 4-3 would take time to gel. But Brian Orakpo, LaRon Landry, and London Fletcher lead an aggressive, pressuring attack that has the potential to harass even the best quarterbacks. The Texans' Matt Schaub hit the dirt five times--how long has it been since that happened for the Redskins?

That said, Sunday's loss exposed some facts that should keep coach Mike Shanahan sleepless throughout the season:

Fear #3: The Washington defense lacks a shutdown corner. DeAngelo Hall is good, not great. The rest of the secondary's quality drops quickly and dramatically from there when it comes to pass coverage. Fans were shocked (some gave sarcastic praise) when Carlos Rogers caught his first interception in recent memory. Safety Reed Doughty led the team with ten tackles, but that wasn't from blitzing; it was from Schaub's receivers getting open early and often. And for the second week, an opponent's primary target got open on a fourth and long when an incompletion would have iced the game.

Fear #4: The Redskins' running game is a thinly-veiled facade. I mentioned last week that the ground game is more diversion than attack. On Sunday, the two-headed Pop Warner running game produced 18 net yards on 17 rushes. That's one yard per run, a statistic that would make the Hogs of yesteryear spin in their pigpen. Part of McNabb's performance was from necessity--he had no help in milking the second-half clock or punching out four yards on third downs. It was bizarre that the Texans were fooled on any play action passes after the first quarter. The optimist in me thinks that the Redskins can make 8-8; but with this comical running game 7-9 would be impressive.

SCORECARD

OFFENSE: C+. It's just unfair to soil McNabb's outstanding performance with the running game. But that's football. The worst moment was Larry Johnson deciding to not lower his head and attack a defender but circle around and lose ten yards. His production: two rushes, minus-seven yards. Hang Your Head. Is Trung Canidate available and in shape?

DEFENSE: D. It's accepted that the Texans possess an emerging QB and a top-five receiver. But for the love of Chris Hanburger, can the defense not allow them to connect during the critical plays? Can this defense put their opponent in a sleeper hold and not allow them to stand up?

Sp. TEAMS: C. Graham Gano had his game-icing field goal deflected by an unblocked Texan, and then missed a second attempt at a 51-yarder to win in overtime. Otherwise, fantastic directional kickoffs by Gano helped pin Houston deep.

COACHING: C. For all the knowledge that offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan possessed of Houston's plays, the defense did little to stop them. Where was his father's kicker-icing timeout? Didn't he invent that annoying tactic? And for the record, one last time, let's say that Shanahan needs to either play Haynesworth or trade him. (If you really want to twist his nose, put Albert on special teams.)

OWNERSHIP: C. My club-level gameday experience was great: cool air conditioning, still-comfy leather chairs, and 50 of my new friends cheering the Dallas loss on the HD screens. Then there was the $34 for two shakes and two cheeseburgers at Johnny Rockets, and I shook my head.

THIS WEEK'S MADDEN MOMENT
If you've played Madden for any length of time, you know how the CPU will be able to ramp up its efficiency in the fourth quarter. You know it's happening when the running back suddenly turns into Gale Sayers and Barry Sanders' love child and bursts for a five-tackle-busting 80-yard touchdown. Or when, on a game-winning 4th and 10, the quarterback avoids the rush and lanches a long touchdown to a receiver who is unbelievable open for the score. That's what happened to Reed Doughty and Philip Buchanan, who provided little resistance to Andre Johnson on the tying score. The lesson: if you're in double-coverage on their best receiver, don't worry about whatever's happening at the line of scrimmage. Just stand near the guy you're covering!

Week One: Preparation + Opportunity = Win

2010-09-13T08:55:00.007-04:00

Dallas 7, Washington 13

For Redskins fans, every game against Dallas begins with a nervous, angry excitement ("we're gonna kill 'em!...I hope..."), continues during the game with disbelieving pronouncements ("why aren't we #$#% RUNNING THE BALL?!?") and ends one of two ways: with a silent shaking of the head with hands covering the face, or with a long, smiling exhale. Is it written somewhere that Redskins/Cowboys games must be this excruciating to watch? That, regardless of the players or coaches, the contests must be as deodorant-bustingly dramatic as possible? Is "bustingly" even a word?

The headlines for this game have read like this one from the NFL.com's page: "Cowboys miscues costly in loss to 'Skins." And there was this link over at Sports Illustrated: "Game ending penalty helps 'Skins beat Cowboys."

I respectfully disagree. Mike Shanahan's team earned every bit of the W on their record. The Dallas mistakes weren't committed in some vacuum like they were on the Cowchip practice field; but instead they were created by a well-prepared defense who seized opportunities to apply pressure, steal a football, and alter their opponent's game plan. This win gets filed in the Rivalry Annals as less a miracle finish than the imposition of will by the Washington defense on a so-called Super Bowl-caliber offense.

Make no mistake: the 2010 Redskins have a lot that's not yet right, seems unsettled, and is cause for concern. Let's start instead with...

WHAT WORKED
With one exception, the Washington defense did exactly what it wanted to. The box score may show Tony Romo had no interceptions, Miles Austin had ten catches for nearly 150 yards, and the defense allowed 380 net yards. But the story is that Jim Haslett's defensive schemes limited Romo to one pass of 30 yards or more, never gave up a run longer than twelve yards, and silenced Romo's favorite target, tight end Jason Witten. Haslett dialed up varied blitzes, forcing checkdown passes that seemed to alter Dallas' first half downfield attacks. (I counted at least four screen passes that went nowhere.) LaRon Landry was everywhere, making 17 tackles. And let's not forget that Dallas managed a paltry seven points--the second lowest output of any team on Sunday, and by far the worst in the NFC East.

Though the offense was limited, it didn't commit a turnover. Anyone who has followed Washington lately knows that the team finished minus-11 in turnover ratio last season. No slip-ups by Portis, McNabb, or anyone else kept the defense from having to defend a short field.

The Player of the Game is, without question, linebacker Brian Orakpo. He had one solo tackle and one assisted tackle. But it was on the game's two pivotal plays that he asserted his dominance. Here's the first, the fumble by Tashard Choice. Kudos, of course, to DeAngelo Hall for his heads-up, ball-hawking focus on what's usually a throwaway play. But Orakpo is the player whose pressure and jump up in Romo's face is the impetus for the quarterback to break the pocket and scramble forward. (The Unsung Hero award goes to #97, linebacker Lorenzo Alexander, who pressured Romo's back side and stayed in the play to make contact on Choice when Hall was going for the strip.) His second outstanding effort was on the game's final play--watch Orakpo cause Dallas' Alex Barron to pull a Rowdy Roddy Piper clothesline, ending the game in Washington's favor. Orakpo nonetheless had so much speed and power that Romo still had to escape the pocket. Had Barron not held Orakpo, it could very well have been a sack that won this game. Imagine how FedEx Field would've shook then.

WHAT DIDN'T WORK
The ground game is more diversion than attack. It's time for a concerned pause when the quarterback is your leading rusher after thirty minutes of football. Offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan oddly trusted the offensive line to protect DJ McNabb more than to block for Portis. The team passed ten more times than it ran; that's not a lot of difference on paper. But Washington led the entire game, which would normally skew the play calling toward the run. In the preseason, I noted that Portis, Larry Johnson, and Willie Parker were largely ineffective, hoping that the regular season would show a better attack. Not so. It was a similar cutback run almost all night.

The red zone playcalling was atrocious. One corner pass, from the five yard line, to new receiver Anthony Armstrong is questionable. A second pass to Armstrong, on third down, when you can go up by three scores, is just disrespectful to your playmakers Chris Cooley and Santana Moss. How about a three-wide receiver draw to Portis? Or, maybe, a quarterback bootleg? Virtually anything was better than throwing to your least-experienced starting receiver twice in a row. Remember when the Redskins would line up from the eight yard line and pound the ball for three yards at a time? That was twenty-five years ago.

So Hang Your Head this week, Kyle Shanahan. Your offense may not have lost the game for Washington, but it certainly didn't win it.

One more note on preparation and opportunity: it is on the last play of a game when off-season conditioning is most important. Brian Orakpo came to training camp in shape, passed his tests, and practiced. Albert Haynesworth whined, showed up late, failed his tests, and earned himself a seat on the bench when the game was on the line. Enjoy your money.

SCORECARD
OFFENSE: D. The upside is that McNabb is still fleet of foot and has a strong arm. Also, Trent Williams did an adequate job defending Andre Ware. But the Skins won't win without better running.

DEFENSE: A+. Aside from allowing Miles Austin to catch a 31-yard catch on 4th and 15, it's hard to criticize Haslett's defense. Actually, Carlos Rogers dropping a game-winning interceptions comes to mind...

Sp. TEAMS: B+. Kicker Graham Gano went 2 for 2, including a hastily-called, crucial 49-yard field goal. Holder Josh Bidwell can practice hands drills with Rogers.

COACHING: B. The field goal from 49 yards was incredibly gutsy, the defense was outstanding, but the offense must score in the red zone.

OWNERSHIP: A. First "A" ever given to Daniel Snyder. The new screens looked fantastic, the new stomping area is a great idea, and opening the gates eight hours before kickoff was fan-friendly.

THIS WEEK'S MADDEN MOMENT
It's always strange when real football imitates video game football. You've probably had those moments when, playing a friend, you just call the Four Verticals play at the end of a half and hope for the best. Cowboys coach Wade Phillips' did just that, and even before the turnover it looked like an idiotic idea. Did the coaching staff think that Romo was going to complete a 60-odd yard Hail Mary? Did Choice think he could catch a lateral and outrun ten or so Redskins on the way to the end zone? The lesson: take a knee and preserve your integrity.

Photo credit: Jonathan Newton/The Washington Post

The 2010 Prediction (Let's Hope Madden 11 is Wrong)

2010-09-08T22:00:00.007-04:00

I'm comfortable admitting that EA Sports' Madden video game series has some power over my pre-kickoff football opinions. To be perfectly honest, my enthusiasm for purchasing Madden is directly proportionate to my assumed improvement of the Redskins' statistical ranking. (So, as you might imagine, last summer I nearly passed on Madden 10, which had the Jim Zorn-led Redskins at a cellar-dwelling 70.) The game drops in early August, and at the time the NFL has yet to play even preseason contests. That virgin game on Madden, then, is the first indicator of how great your team just might be in September.

This year, I was particularly stoked about the potential for my team to be judged favorably by the faceless programmers at Electronic Arts. No recent version of Madden has featured such an overhauled Washington Redskins. Surely they'd be highly ranked--even if no one in their right mind can predict how they'll finish. (More on that in a moment.) So with some gusto I ripped open the packaging, slid the disc in my PS3 and eventually began my first game. I say eventually because I had to reset my system no less than three times while inputting redemption codes, downloading rosters, and getting hardware updates. Remember the days of popping in a cartridge and playing?

Anyway, first thing I noticed was that Washington was a mediocre 76. Even with the latest roster update (which oddly keeps Willie Parker around), the Skins are a good four points below anyone in the NFC East. At least they're rated significantly higher than the Chiefs and Rams, two teams they had trouble with under Jim Zorn.

For a fair game, I invited Miami (rated 78) to virtual FedEx Field on the All-Pro level. For the record, I'm good at Madden on the higher settings. My Redskins franchises have yet to lose more than three games in any season, and I regularly post undefeated championships. Once I'm comfortable with the playbook, make some depth chart substitutions, and feel out whatever play calling changes EA throws in, I'm dangerous even with my perennially marginal home team.

I mention this because my first half of Madden 11 football was...horrific. It was so bad that it slipped a measure of fear into what the Redskins' 2010 season might be like. I was in disbelief because everything that you knew could happen this year did happen.

The new 3-4 defense immediately gave up multiple plays of 50+ yards: a 60-yard touchdown to Brandon Marshall (in which CPU-controlled Laron Landry whiffed on a big hit) and on the next series, a 51-yard run by Ronnie Brown when Albert Haynesworth was blocked right out of his assigned gap. By the way, Albert's endurance lasted exactly two plays before his icon went red and he needed to be substituted. On offense, I took DJ McNabb (rated 89) on a blitz-avoiding scramble and saw Santana Moss streaking ahead of his defender. I gently pressed L1 to lob him a simple leading pass for the easy score. McNabb threw an awkward, wounded duck that was easily intercepted. When I went to my ultra-effective goal-line run offense (usable anywhere on the field!), Clinton Portis finally broke through to the second level of defense, with one man to beat for a satisfyingly long touchdown. He twisted in the tackle and promptly fumbled the ball three yards sideways. In the next series, McNabb limped off the field after completing his first pass, a 61-yard touchdown to the ancient Joey Galloway.

At halftime: Miami 24, Washington 7. The Redskins' defense was swiss cheese, the offense couldn't sustain a drive, and Rex Grossman (rated 65) was all I had left to mount a three-score comeback. Egad. The scenario was so nightmarishly plausible, so disarmingly realistic, that I stopped the game and had dinner. Really.

I don't believe I'm alone in hoping that 2010 looks nothing like that in the real world.
-------------------------------------------------------
So how will the Redskins fare in 2010? I've seen predictions from 4-12 to 10-6 with a wildcard birth. Choosing is an absurd practice. Remember last season when the ESPN experts picked the eventual champion Saints to finish 18th in the league? The Washington Post recently asked how the Redskins will finish and responders optimistically predicted a nine-win season. I can't resist being absurd too, so I'm predicting 8-8, with a 7-9 season a distinct possibility. Maybe I'm just shaken by that first half of Madden. Here's how I see it breaking down:

Redskins vs. Dallas Cowboys - Win
Big D is unprepared for the new, very un-Zorn game plan by Shanahan and is stunned on national television.

Redskins vs. Houston Texans- Loss
The Texans' Mario Williams manages multiple sacks and Trent Williams learns how fast the NFL really is.

Redskins at St. Louis Rams - Win
The perfect rebound opponent. Rams QB Sam Bradford shines, but his defense allows McNabb and the Skins offense to have a field day.

Redskins at Philadelphia Eagles - Loss
Andy Reid and the Eagles hooligan fans manage to rattle McNabb on his first visit back to Philadelphia. Did I mention that their fans are hooligans?

Redskins vs. Green Bay Packers - Loss
The defense begins to show signs of proper execution of the 3-4, but Aaron "Favre Who?" Rodgers proves to be too much for them to handle. Seems like a long time ago that he was the 24th pick in the draft.

Redskins vs. Indianapolis Colts - Loss
Just about everyone will lose to the Colts this year. Nonetheless, the "Shanahan sucks!" thread on ExtremeSkins.com reaches 10 pages.

Redskins at Chicago Bears - Win
This is the beginning of the happier days of the 2011 season. The 2-4 Skins upset Chicago with its first mistake-free game.

Redskins at Detroit Lions - Win
Last season's loss in Detroit was a figment of their imagination, and the whipping the receive from Washington helps erase the memory.

Redskins vs. Philadelphia Eagles - Win
Kevin Kolb and the Eagles, reeling from their loss the previous week to the Colts, are no match for the confident Redskins and their bandwagon-riding fans. At 5-4, hope for the playoffs seeps into the fanbase.

Redskins at Tennessee Titans - Loss
Despite Santana Moss' best day of the season, the Titans' Chris Johnson has the last laugh with a late touchdown. Every season there's one game that you wish you could have a Rewind button for two or three plays. This is that game.

Redskins vs. Minnesota Vikings - Loss
Brett Favre and Adrian Peterson remind Washington what the cream of the NFC looks like in a cover-your-eyes loss.

Redskins at New York Giants - Loss
Here's where the playoff dream is officially dashed. Washington keeps it competitive, however, in a strong showing.

Redskins vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Win
If Zorn, Campbell, Smoot, and the rest of the 2009 castoffs can beat them, surely the 2010 team can.

Redskins at Dallas Cowboys - Loss The Cowchips are making their annual playoff run, and take out their revenge for the week one loss. The offense continues to lack consistency. Jerry Jones' face reportedly cracks a smile.

Redskins at Jacksonville Jaguars - Win
With a .500 season in view, the Redskins thump the Jaguars. Fortunately, no one in Jacksonville sees the beating because of the blackout.

Redskins vs. New York Giants - ?
Here's where I think the Redskins face a gut-check. The playoffs aren't an option and they have nothing to play for but pride. Is this the same franchise that went 4-12 last year and collected a paycheck? Or does this team reflect Mike Shanahan and defend their home turf against the playoff-bound Giants? The answer will be the final statement about whether a New Era has truly come to Washington.

If I Ran the Jumbotron...

2010-09-07T17:30:00.001-04:00

Ask any person who has been to FedEx Field what irks them about the gameday experience, and they might mention the ticket prices, the overpriced beer, or maybe the lack of intimacy that RFK enjoyed. I would suggest, however, that one response would trump them all: "what's up with the 1970's video screens?"

The screens weren't just outdated. They were incapable of displaying multiple images, delayed real-time video, and appeared to be made of 10,000 giant Lite Brite pegs. Three-fifths of the useful area was made up of advertising and another fifth was used for the current score/occasional spinning Redskins symbol. (In more giant Lite Brite pegs.) They were, even by 1990s standards, embarrassing.

For those unfamiliar with the utter wackness of the screens, I present the following, a picture I took at the NFL Kickoff in 1997. And yes, that's Britney Spears.

So I was particularly pleased to hear a few months ago that, just in time for the new NFL season, Daniel Snyder has upgraded the FedEx monitors to...modern standards. The new video screens look a little something like this (but with less attractive ads on the sides):

Wonderful. Now fans can actually see the screen from multiple angles, read down and distance information along the bottom, and enjoy football at the other end of the field. Just like Baltimore has been doing for years now. At least now the fans get called "sir" when they enter and leave.

Although we got to preview the screens during the preseason and Monday's Boise State/Virginia Tech thriller, the big debut is Sunday night when the Skins face Dallas on Sunday Night Football.

So I got to thinking: what would I show on the screens, to simultaneously launch this exciting new season, show off the vibrant screens, and humiliate the Cowchips?

There were many choices, but I hereby present my Top Ten Images to Show on Sunday Night:

1. Open with this picture of the Redskins faithful, watching a game that had nothing to do with Dallas. That's called staying on message. (Make sure to fire up the old "Hail to the Redskins" rendition that sounds like it was recorded by Jack Kent Cooke's old buddies.)

2. Russ Grimm's Hall of Fame introduction, particularly the lovely portion where Joe Bugel describes cramming "50 Gut" down the throat of Dallas' Randy White ten straight times.

3. Celebrated Dallas coach Jimmy "Mini" Johnson's Extense commercial. What next in his "I'm still in my physical prime after 65" tour, a stint on a ridiculous reality competition? Uh, nevermind. You really can't make this stuff up.

4. For a taste of a time when a rivalry meant something: this piece from the NFL Network's Top 10 show. It's, essentially, cliff's notes on former Redskins coach George Allen's obsessive hatred of everything Dallas. "Forty men together can't lose!" is his now-famous quote. Boys and girls, that's leadership.

5. Terrell Owens crying about "my team..my quarterback..." Tony Romo. I know he's not on team. But can you resist the pure hilarity of T.O. weeping about the press not being fair, in front of a wall of blue Cowchip stars, all over Tony Romo? I dare a stadium full of people not to watch and smile.

6. And why not: a 1200-inch diagonal picture of Chris Cooley mocking an unsuspecting Jason Witten at the Pro Bowl. Juvenile? Sure. Funny? Yep.

7. Landon Donovan's goal in the World Cup. Yes, it's not "football," as we Americans know it. But for inspiration's sake, I always get goosebumps when I hear Ian Clarke's enthusiastic "Goal, goal, USA! Oh, it's incredible!" It's more proof for the Redskins that with perseverance, anything's possible. It helps even more when your opponent is Algeria.

8. Tony Romo boldly announcing a Cowchip home Superbowl at a summer Dallas pep rally. (See the one minute mark if you'd prefer to skip as much viewing of Babe Laufenberg's beard as possible.) That'll fire up the Washington faithful. I'd let the video continue for a moment, if only to show Dallas' hotshot rookie Dez Bryant dancing...days before he sprained his ankle.

9. This montage of two modern-era Redskins miracle wins over Dallas. I'm particularly proud to say I attended the second game and saw Sean Taylor run back the field goal. ...And add a Wilhelm Scream to Roy Williams while you're at it.

10. And finally, in big, bold, high-definition letters: WE WANT DALLAS.

After that, it's time to play football. Now how can I get this list in Snyder's hands...hmm...

Football, Cars & Food: Redskins Rides 2010

2010-08-16T13:50:00.004-04:00

Let's be honest: until the regular season begins, you have nothing else to do on your Sundays. Sure, you could mow the grass, spend time with loved ones, maybe even play "name that former team" watching the random guys of the Arena League. How droll. Why not instead enjoy great food, groovy music, and see some fantastic cars? And, oh yeah, meet some Washington Redskins?
If that sounds like you're idea of a great Sunday, check out the third annual Redskins Rides Car Show. This event features classic and exotic cars and ti’s also a great chance to see Redskins players bring out their rides! Competition categories include Classic, Custom, Import, Special Interest for all exhibitors and Top Redskins Ride for the players. Fans can get their Redskins gear autographed by the players while enjoying food and live music. A great community event for Redskins fans and car enthusiasts alike! Come together for this fun family event that benefits charity!

It's all at : 21300 Redskins Park Dr., Ashburn, VA 20147

Time: 12pm-7pm

Admission: $15 for Adults, $10 for kids, 3 and under are free. Tickets may be purchased at the door.

Plenty of information, including pics and videos, are all at www.redskinsrides.com.

The Great Taste of Preseasoning

2010-08-13T21:11:00.013-04:00

Washington 42, Bills 17

I'm not usually one to put much effort in reviewing preseason games with depth or enthusiasm. These are the games that, frankly, serve as a teasing appetizer for the hearty, full-bodied supper called the NFL regular season. Most times teams approach these games as pure evaluation tools, hoping that their starters finish the four games unscathed and fresh for when the contests actually matter. But on some occasions, a preseason game means much, much, more than just limited playbooks executed by future UPS drivers.

Friday night's game signaled the true beginning of the New Era in Washington. Unlike previous Redskins reboots, the fans got to see a true shift in the philosophy, key players, and (gasp!) ownership. This was the triumphant beginning of Shanahan the Man: no feigned excitement about an unknown coach, no ridiculously high-priced free agent saviors, no bizarre team strategies. Fans saw new coach Mike Shanahan's footprint all over the Skins the moment he addressed the media as new head coach with owner Snydely--excuse me, Daniel Snyder--nowhere in sight. This is his team, and he and GM Bruce Allen took the off season months to detonate the 2009 squad, as I requested, and start all over again.

So all eyes were on FedEx Field as Shanahan the Man, Donovan McNabb, Trent Williams, and, more slowly, Albert Haynesworth, trotted onto the field for this first exhibition contest.

Let me be frank, after taking copious notes for the first half, I followed the rest of the contest via streaming box score updates. (I did run to my DVR and rewind the plays over twenty yards. C'mon, I miss football as much as anyone but it IS just a preseason game.) With the horrific display of offense in 2009, I smiled when these revelations calmed my cautious expectations for 2010:

1. DJ McNabb looked great, making quick reads and decisions while throwing on target and scrambling when necessary. Frankly, that's all we need him to do...and all we wished Jason Campbell could have done. (Speaking of him, you can get a JC jersey for just a dollar! Replace the patch with "D. Williams" and enjoy!)

2. The first team offense performed solid. The first series was odd, featuring a Santana Moss end around on the second play of the game. (Remember when Coach Gibbs would run the most vanilla playbook during the preseason and lose the games?) But Cooley then got open and again in the second series when McNabb orchestrated multiple play action fakes. Clinton Portis ran hard, covering the ball well while wideout Anthony Armstrong certainly upped his prospects to return in September with a goal-line touchdown reception. Oh, and left tackle Trent Williams appears to be The Truth, doing a great job of keeping McNabb virtually untouched.

3. Rex Grossman appears to be a qualified backup...but let's hope we don't need him. I am pleased that he was able to meet my low expectations of his performance. He zipped balls in to open receivers, but he also made some questionable decisions on placement. Had Buffalo's defenders been a step better, Sir Grossman could have tossed two pick-six interceptions.

NEXT UP
The one-quarter-of-pure-excitement continues next week when the Redskins face off against a Super Bowl contender in the Baltimore Ravens. Hopes are high in the land of crabcakes and Natty Boh with good reason: Anquan Boldin provides the best target that Joe Flacco's ever had and running back Ray Rice is this season's fantasy football keeper. For the first time in a long time, Baltimore might have a stronger offense than defense. A strong showing here, particularly from the first-team defense would add a wonderful spice to an increasingly flavorful preseason.

Photo courtesy Jonathan Newton/Washington Post

DJ McNabb Takes Center Stage

2010-04-05T09:23:00.011-04:00

Tiger Woods shows up early at Augusta? Good to know. Fifth seed Butler playing for its first NCAA championship tonight against perennial champ Duke? Whatever. Lil' Wayne writes his first letter to fans from jail? Yawn. The real news is that Donovan Jamal McNabb has joined the Redskins. With this trade, Washington acquires a 33-year old, six-time Pro Bowler and arguably its highest-profile quarterback since Joe Theismann. In return, the Philadelphia Eagles receive a second round pick (#37) for this year and either a third or fourth round pick from next year's draft.

And I'm not sure if I like it. But I do know that this blockbuster trade that has dominated the news cycle simultaneously answered and created questions, like Richard Alpert's back story on "Lost." Cue the rotating title and eerie intro music:

1. The Eagles are secretly smirking, believing that they've pulled off a Trojan Horse. You remember the story from history class: the Greeks, desperate to find an advantage over their rival Trojans, pretended to retreat leaving behind the beautiful, towering gift of a horse. When the Trojans looked skeptically at the offering from those who so recently sought to destroy them, they were assured that the horse was harmless and would bring luck to the Trojans by the Greek Sinon, who was "left behind" by his countrymen. The apparently gullible Trojans celebrated their victory, dragged the horse inside their gates, and partied. When night fell, a secret door opened and out poured Greek warriors who had no problem slaughtering the drunk Trojans. Mission accomplished.

Now the Philadelphia front office won't admit it, and I'm sure head coach Andy Reid won't divulge the truth even under a cheesesteak lie detector test, but it's clear to me that the Eagles think that McNabb's best days are behind him. That's not shocking; teams do that every year for that same reason. But the Eagles did more than just trade a guy because they thought his skills were in sunset. No, they traded their franchise quarterback to a hated division rival who they knew had questions at quarterback. McNabb isn't going to Kansas City, a team they play once or twice every four years and has minimal effect on their overall record. He's landing with a team that impacts their Super Bowl chances at least twice a year.

In his post-trade press conference, Coach Reid spun a carefully crafted web of "been a great player here for 11 years...set every record you can set for this organization...nothing but good things to say about him...we're doing what's best for Donovan..." and other oddly pleasant reviews of McNabb's work in Philly. Which raises the question: if he's been that good, why let him go? This guy got you to the playoffs with no-name receivers and then again with managing the cancerous Terrell Owens. Might their training staff know something about McNabb's past injuries that the Redskins don't? Could the Eagles think McNabb is really toast?

Simply put, are little green men with wings on their helmets going to jump out of Donovan's [backside] and sabotage the Redskins' season?

2. The Redskins are nonetheless significantly upgraded at the prime football positions. I will extrapolate on this point made this morning by Tony Kornheiser. Going from Jim Zorn/Jason Campbell/Vinny Cerrato to Mike Shanahan/Donovan McNabb/Bruce Allen is like trading in your 2006 Palm Treo for a 2010 Blackberry Storm 2. Sure, they both make phone calls, surf the web, and manage your email. But the competency, polish, and confidence with which it accomplishes those tasks is astoundingly different. If by nothing else than resume comparison, the Redskins will be smarter, more polished, and more competitive than in recent memory. Even if DJ McNabb (does anyone call him that?) manages just marginal performance, and Shanahan takes longer than thought to adjust to the competitive NFC East, and Allen doesn't get along at all with the Washington press corps...it will still be better than the 4-12 Cirque de Suck of the 2009 season, with its on the field embarrassments, off the field melodrama, and organizational self-destruction.

[Cue the "Tiger Woods scored more than Washington last year" joke and rimshot here.]

3. Is Snydely Whiplash twirling his moustache in the shadows once again? All the expectations for the new coaching regime suggested that Bruce Allen and Mike Shanahan would be making all the football operation decisions. From early interviews both men suggested a cautioned, calculated approach to filling the man needs of the franchise. In February, when free agency was in full swing, the Redskins were eerily quiet, quieting the skeptics (I'm raising my hand) that owner Daniel Snyder would not play fantasy football as he has in the past offseasons. Every fan remembers those days: the signings of veterans with limited shelf life like Bruce Smith, Deion Sanders, Dana Stubblefield, Mark Carrier, and Mark Brunell.

But then there was the signing of 30-year old running back Larry Johnson and ex-Bear/ex-Texan quarterback Rex Grossman in March. Two days ago, 29-year old running back Willie Parker was signed. And now with the McNabb signing, the Redskins have again dominated the off-season, pre-draft headlines by picking up aging veterans.

Folks, this looks uncomfortably close to the Redskins of old. What happened to the "I'm looking forward to working with Jason [Campbell]" and "his best years are ahead of him" perspective of Shanahan on his starting quarterback? What happened to keeping Campbell, drafting a young quarterback with the fourth pick and grooming him into franchise status? What happened to coveting draft picks for the most glaring of Redskins needs, the offensive line? What happened to the silent understanding that 2010 is a rebuilding year in D.C.?

There is only one man whose win now mentality brings about such wholesale change: Daniel Snyder. And we all know the level of success when that happens.

Finally, fans do know that the team that takes the field in September will be nothing like the team that sauntered into the 2009 post-season a wounded, demoralized mess. McNabb will be working with young, promising receivers, a diverse running attack and supported by a new-look 3-4 defense. At least the team will be worth watching.

ONE LAST THING
Fans can be also be absolutely sure that the only #17 Redskins jersey available this time next year will be Doug Williams'.

*Photo courtesy UPI/Kevin Dietsch

Shanahan's the Man

2010-01-06T14:53:00.011-05:00

Washington 24, Bleak Future 0

The future, to quote a famous man in Washington history, is now. Redskins Vice President Bruce Allen introduced Mike Shanahan as the new head coach with this phrase: "We got our man."

What immediately struck me about the press conference, aside from the absence of Super Bowl trophies on display, was the businesslike atmosphere presented by Allen and Shanahan. Owner Daniel Snyder, who has introduced each new coach to the press was conspicuously absent. Allen briefly reminded the press of the qualities he outlined in a prospective coach, including a knowledge of Redskins history, said Shanahan's name, then let the new head coach field the questions.

To his credit, Shanahan said what would be expected, such as how great the opportunity is to work with the franchise, what a great relationship he has with Snyder, and so forth. When it came to Clinton Portis, a runner he coached in Denver, Shanahan took a more evaluative tone, saying that he liked what Portis showed early last season (when the Skins were a promising 6-2), but there need to be some reviewing of tape and off season work to review him and other veterans. Contrast that to his thoughts on Jason Campbell: Shanahan said he was "looking forward to working with Jason" and thinks that "his best years are still ahead." Draw whatever conclusions you may; I'm inclined to believe that Mr. Campbell may be in burgundy in gold longer than Mr. Portis. Either way, the new head coach certainly has his hands full with the developing infighting between his team captain and star running back. Shanahan made a point to say that if problems develop, they will stay within the team and that they "will be strongly disciplined."

At the heart of the pathetic on-field results with the franchise is a deadly combination of ownership interference and poor player selection. According to the new head coach, he will technically have final say, but plans to work closely with Bruce Allen in such decisions. Shanahan sounded like he would take a methodical approach to reviewing his assistant coaches and players. Again, Snyder's lack of presence at the podium spoke volumes about who and how this team will chart its course.

My favorite Shanahan quote came right at the beginning of the presser. He said, to the press, the organization, and the fans, "I promise I won't disappoint you." We'll see.

End of the Zorn Quo

2010-01-04T12:50:00.004-05:00

To the surprise of no one except, apparently, Jim Zorn, the Redskins officially acknowledged the failure of 2009 with his dismissal as head coach early Monday morning. Owner Daniel Snyder (His "Snydely Whiplash" moniker will be reserved until he makes his first team-sabotaging move.) issued the following statement regarding Zorn's firing:

"This has been an extremely difficult season for our organization and for the fans. Bruce Allen spent many hours examining the football operations, and we are both determined to do whatever it takes to build a championship team. That process begins today.

"No one in the organization is satisfied with our record over the last two years, and I am sure that Jim would concur with that statement. It has been painful for him too. I certainly accept responsibility for mistakes that I have made. I am hopeful that our fans will accept my commitment and pledge to deliver a franchise that can compete in the NFC East every season.

"Finally, I am mindful that this is a tough day for Jim and his family, and I do want to wish him success in his next endeavor."

What Redskins fans may appreciate about Snyder's statement is the recognition of a few realities. First, the words "extremely difficult" and "painful" were used. It's likely politics at work (he couldn't call it Cirque de Suck as suggested here) but it at least says that, yes, seeing the Redskins become the laughing stock of the league really hurts. And for Jim Zorn, the process of being hired for a specialist job, unexpectedly promoted to leader, stripped of his specialist work, then have replacements interviewed while his name's still on the door...well, that hurts too.

I commented on the Official Redskins Blog that Zorn was handed Mission Impossible and nonetheless handled the absurdities of his owner's whims with a high level of class and dignity. As Zorn handles this "tough day," he can at least leave Redskins Park knowing that he never gave in publicly to the nonsense surrounding him. Some other team will want that in a quarterback coach.

Second, Snyder finally stood up and said that he accepts responsibility for the mistakes he has made. That is a profound admission from a man who in week nine of the season, with his team 2-6, made his only public statement about the Redskins, saying cryptically that "we're disappointed and embarrassed." For the owner to not only admit that there have been mistakes with the Redskins (which is like saying that Tiger Woods has made some bad choices), but to say that those mistakes were his speaks volumes about where the Redskins have been and where they will be going. Or at least think they are going. Courageously saying (to read between the words) that the atmosphere at Redskins' Park with the shuffling of personnel, "general manager" players, and lack of accountability is honorable.

Now, of course, Snyder doesn't enumerate the mistakes he's made. And he likely never will. But the third point made in the statement should help smooth over the omission, give Redskins an olive branch and a reason to consider renewing their season tickets. He said that he hopes fans will accept his "commitment and pledge" to deliver a competitive team. This is well said because it reminds fans of the goal that has been absent since his tenure and, most importantly, it humbly suggests that fans may not receive his offering. He is admitting not only that he's screwed up, but that maybe, just maybe he deserved the "Fire Danny!" banners on 495, the Burgundy Revolution web posts, and the empty seats at FedEx Field.

Hours after the press release, General Manager Bruce Allen held his first press conference and signaled a seismic symbolic change in the direction of the team. After stating that Zorn was "disappointed, maybe surprised" by the firing, Allen quickly moved to discussion of the future. He said that "we need to change the way we do business" and that "the status quo has to end." Allen would not take the bait on questions about Mike Shanahan or any other head coaching candidate, simply stating that "we will look for someone who can lead these men to levels that they haven't played to before....and understands Redskins history."

Allen made clear that the 2010 season begins now. Let's see if the Redskins begin the season with the right people, in the right places, creating the right results.

NEXT UP
Rumors circulate that Redskins One, the private charter jet of Daniel Snyder, touched down in Denver, Colorado early Monday morning. And what precious cargo might it be receiving...?

Week Seventeen: A Fitting End

2010-01-03T20:12:00.010-05:00

Washington 20, San Diego 23

It was as if the Washington Redskins wanted to leave its fans with a solemn, stinking reminder of the inferior mess of the 2009 season. Midway through the fourth quarter, Washington held a one-point lead and effectively drove twelve plays to reach San Diego's three yard line. A touchdown wouldn't have immediately won the game, but it would have forced San Diego, whose playoff-bound team fielded its second and third string, to score a touchdown and two-point conversion for overtime.

So what happened? After failing on third and one, Currently Packing Coach Zorn called the second of his three time outs to set up his fourth down attempt. The offense lined up with a heavy package...and Derrick Dockery, one of the few veteran offensive linemen still able to play, commited a false start penalty. Faced with the opportunity to display a win-at-all cost courage (that critics say was absent in losses to Philadelphia and Dallas), Zorn elected to kick a field goal.

San Diego's offensive backups, led by household name Billy Volek, needed just ten plays in three minutes to reach first and goal at the Washington one yard line. During the drive, cornerback Justin Tryon had an interception hit him between the numbers that would have ended the game. And just as they did in Detroit, the Redskins spent a precious timeout after standing around during a booth review because they didn't have the right personnel on the field. Then, the proper personnel cannot cover fullback Mike Tolbert, and he easily received the go-ahead pass.

With no timeouts left and just 35 seconds left to save the sliver of dignity left in Washington, Campbell threw passes that sailed over his receiver's heads. The final play of the 2009 season showed Jason Campbell, under light defensive pressure, winding up and launching a pass...that sailed so far out of bounds that it likely struck a Chargers fan in the fifth row.

After all the ridiculousness of this year, there was the smallest of hopes that the Redskins would send off this season with a win. After all the talk from players and staff of how much winning a fifth game would mean, there was the possibility that the Redskins would play with enough heart to at least hold their heads high in January after a forgettable December.

No, this is the Season of Discontent, one some call the worst season ever, if not in decades. For at least the next six months, the Redskins have forced their fans to have to find an answer to "Y'all couldn't beat San Diego's benchwarmers?!?"

Some analysts have dismissed this game as a glorified preseason contest, a forgettable footnote to the season. I disagree. You know what the Kansas City Chiefs, a 3-12 franchise with a coach on the hot seat and no reason to care, did on Sunday against a Denver team fighting for a playoff spot (with its starters, no less)? They went on the road, played with pride, and had their best output of the season in defeating the Broncos, 44-24.

It should be professionally demoralizing for Washington to eye Kansas City with envy, except for the fact that the 'Skins weren't good enough to beat them at home.

And thus the season draws to a close. The clock is ticking on Jim Zorn; reports from ESPN, the Associated Press, and heck, even my Aunt Gladys say that he will be fired by Tuesday. In his last interview as coach with the Redskins' broadcast crew, Zorn found the right word to sum up this game, this season, and the taste in every fan's mouth:

Awful.

SCORECARD
OFFENSE: B. Never mind the final score. Facing the Chargers' defensive starters, the offense had just one decent drive and zero points.
DEFENSE: F. Never mind the statistical rankings. If your starters can't stop their backups to win a game, then you have failed. The secondary has 17 takeaways in 16 games, none for a touchdown. That's the worst in NFL.
Sp. TEAMS: C. When it mattered least, Antwaan Randle-El had his best return of the year, 43 yards. He then reverted to form and returned the next punt for one yard.
COACHING: F. In the NFL, at the end of the day success is measured not just in wins, but how you lost. This game was yet another (of the six or more) that was easily within grasp for the coaches but slipped away.
OWNERSHIP: F. Snydely emasculated Zorn mid-season with the arrival of Sherm in the Box, then sabotaged any remaining confidence by interviewing Mike Shanahan and Jerry Gray with games yet to play.

NEXT UP
The Redskins begin the arduous task of repairing all that is wrong with this franchise. Post-Zorn Reviews will follow as developments warrant; I will also review the intriguing question of whether Jason Campbell's final series in burgundy and gold will be that four-incompletion laugher in San Diego.

ONE MORE THING
I will add that for as frustrating, bewildering, and downright sickening that this season has been, I count it a pleasure to have resurrected the Redskins Review for this year. If nothing else, my favorite team is the Britney Spears of professional football: a high-profile, moderately-talented soap opera that may never be as attractive as it used to be. However, it never leaves its audience without something to talk about. Here's to the Redskins winning the 2010 Offseason Super Bowl!

Week Sixteen: You've Earned A Trophy!

2009-12-28T02:00:00.001-05:00

Dallas 17, Washington 0

If the 2009 Redskins' season were played on PlayStation, it would have achieved all the trophies required to earn the platinum Season Fail status. To reach this dubious level, a team must do more than simply lose their games; they must run the gamut of scenarios designed to humiliate, embarrass, and outright shun their loyal fan base. This effort is beyond being impressively unimpressive, it must descend into historically abysmal depths of pure disappointment. Best (or worst) of all, the Redskins have gotten there with one week still left in the season. Here's the checklist:

Lose every game in your division. Remind your rivals of the joy of kicking around the Cardinals. Check.
Lose a game against a rookie quarterback or quarterback getting his first start. Check.
Lose to a team whose fans habitually wear paper bags to the games (and management has no problem with it.) Check.
Win but play so badly that your own fans boo you off your home field. Check.
Beat any team led by Jamarcus Russell and celebrate "turning a corner." Check.
Lose a virtually-won game by doing any of the following: miss easy field goals, allow a touchdown of 30+ yards, or playing for the tie when you're ahead. Check.
Beat a team led by a spleenless man. Check.
Lose two or more games without scoring at least ten points and without scoring a touchdown. Check, check, check.
Lose. Don't even threaten to score, as if there's an invisible, anti-you barrier constructed near the red zone. Check.
Lose back to back games and be outscored by fifty or more points. Check. Additional achievement if done before national audiences. Ding!

I'm sure there's an additional hidden trophy the Redskins will acquire for losing to a team playing its entire second string. That comes next week against the San Diego Chargers.

All of this, topped off perhaps with Sunday night's public whipping at FedEx Field by Dallas, is evidence that perhaps the only solution left for the franchise is to pull a Tobacco Road by detonating the team and startin' all over again. Washington's coaches and players had their second, home-base, prime-time audition for new GM Bruce Allen and again showed that few deserved to be employed come January.

After posting a mere twelve points against the Giants, the offense actually took a step backward on Sunday, never getting further than Dallas' 23-yard line. Jason Campbell, though protected by men who couldn't make Dallas' practice squad, still made the same errors that contributed to last week's black eye. The running game was nonexistent, and the feel-good Quinton Ganther story dulled considerably. He ran seven times...for thirteen yards. The 218 yards earned by the offense are hardly much to cheer about, and most of those came during garbage time. ("Garbage time" for the 2009 Redskins may include up to seven minutes in the fourth quarter.) Perhaps this stat details the futility of the offense: following the interception on their first possession, the Redskins punted on eight of their final nine drives.

The defense didn't play all that poorly--they held a diverse Dallas offense to 17 points. But credit falls to the Cowchips coach Wade Phillips. He had two odd calls on fourth-and-short where he ran the ball up the middle and failed. Then Dallas tried a bizarre Wildcat reverse that lost fourteen yards, erasing a long completion on 3rd and 8 that had gotten them into Redskins' territory. Furthermore, Dallas mismanaged their two minute drill at the end of the first half and likely left three points on the field.

Nonetheless, the defense played stout, certainly well enough for even a mediocre offense to take advantage of. Alas, the offense in Washington is far less than mediocre. NBC's Chris Collinsworth called it "borderline unwatchable."

The analysis in the coming weeks will be to predict the outcome of an interesting game of professional-level Whack-A-Mole, as Snydely will begin the dirty, necessary task of cleaning house. For now, enjoy the unfortunate trophy collection earned by the current personnel

SCORECARD

OFFENSE: F. The other point of analysis for the near future is whether Campbell's mediocrity is justified by the multiple offensive systems and porous offensive lines he has had to work with. ("It isn't fair," he finally vented on Comcast SportsNet Sunday night.) Then again, his backpedaling into sacks, inaccuracy, and intentional grounding habits have yet to be self-corrected. Hmm...

DEFENSE: C. Another game, another scene with Laron Landry chasing a receiver 20 or more yards down the field because he just can't play the pass. This week it was tight end Jason Witten outrunning Landry for a 69-yard completion on a simple crossing route.

Sp. TEAMS: C-. Punter Hunter Smith averaged just over 37 yards per punt, and the longest return by a Redskin was 24 yards.

COACHES: F. I'm not sure which is worse: that Zorn didn't know whether his team had reached the red zone in the game (they didn't) or that he thought that the Redskins' record was 4-13.

OWNERSHIP: F. I missed it, but quite a few post-game commenters noted Bruce Allen and Snydely enjoying a laugh while the final moments of the shutout commenced.

NEXT UP

In the Washington Post post-game chat, it was noted how ironic it is that the Redskins will end their season, and likely the coaching career of Jim Zorn, against the first coach Dan Snyder ran out of D.C., San Diego's Norv Turner. The Chargers have nothing to play for, having secured the number two seed in the AFC and a first-round playoff bye by winning ten straight games. If I'm Turner, I'm keeping my starters' jerseys clean and seeing what backup quarterback Billy Volek can muster with the reserves. Washington decides to send its coach off with a win, 14-13.

Week Fifteen: Welcome to Washington, Mr. Allen!

2009-12-19T01:00:00.000-05:00

New York 45, Washington 12

Dear Mr. Bruce Allen,

Merry Christmas and congratulations on your new position as General Manager and Executive Vice President of the Redskins! As you know, you are joining one of the most high-profile professional sports franchises in the nation, and you will enjoy the support of the most die hard, loyal fans anywhere. In fact, my formative years as a fan were spent watching your father, George Allen, coach a pride (and hatred of the Cowboys) into the team that still exists decades later. Those and the following years under Joe Gibbs were just a euphoric time to follow Washington's warriors.

I'm not sure if you were completely briefed during your job interview about the business you're joining, but the modern organization doesn't resemble, in any way, the Redskins we fans knew and loved.

May I be blunt? It is a complete, total, ineffective mess.

Since 1999, when Daniel Snyder bought the franchise, the Redskins have no Super Bowl appearances and have won just 46 percent of their games. Something is wrong when a team has had more coaches (six) than playoff wins (two) in the same time period. Compare that to the Pittsburgh Steelers, who since 1969 have only hired three coaches and have two championships in the 00's. The longtime fans aren't just disappointed. They are more than disgruntled. They are bordering on a revolt featuring a burning of the owner in effigy. Seriously.

But you have a great opportunity to step in and help change all of that with some shrewd roster and organizational moves. There are some decisions you've got to make, starting perhaps with quarterback Jason Campbell, who has been battered all season like a red-handed husband on Cheaters behind an offensive line made up of former Krispy Kreme employees. It looks that bad. Then there's the defense, who has earned a top ten statistical ranking but appears not to be able to intercept passes, disrupt plays, or tackle runners. The special teams you are inheriting features our newest kicker, Graham Gano, who injured his foot after just one game. The guy before him was the most accurate kicker the Redskins have ever had...even if he ruined the Redskins' best performance of the year.

And then there's the current coach, Jim Zorn. It is a sad irony that Zorn was hired to run the offense, then given the head coach position, then stripped of the ability to run the offense. ("So what's he good at, then?" I ask myself weekly.) Reports are already surfacing that former Denver coach Mike Shanahan is a lock for the 2010 coaching position in Washington. I'm not sure how you'd handle this kind of situation in the future, but allow me to suggest that it is really, really not nice to openly start talks with your new employee without letting the first one go. At least pretend you want to keep the current guy around until the season ends. I hope you're taking notes on the business model your boss employs.

I am confident that even if nobody pulled you aside while you filled out your W-4 form and whispered to you these insights, you are aware of how dismal your new job is going to be. I caught a glimpse of you, sipping a beverage, in the coaching box during Monday Night Football. (I hope it was something strong.) Without any prior knowledge of this organization's woes, witnessing that Cirque de Suck tells you everything you know about the problems of the Washington Redskins.

There's an old Ice Cube song that's a guilty pleasure of mine, and it begins with a montage of mocking voices saying "Here's what they think about you." (Ice Cube then launches into a wickedly effective, profanity-laced verbal assault. But that's not my point.) For your benefit, I transcribed some of the broadcast commentary heard during and after the Redskins' nationally televised game. Here's what they think about your team:

After New York went up 14-0, and Washington had three total plays and negative three yards in more than a quarter: "This is an unbelievable statement by both teams."
After Washington's second three-and-out: "This is the biggest tail-kicking in the first twenty minutes I have seen all year."
"The Cowboys are watching this and can't get [to play the Redskins] fast enough!"
"The score is 24 to zero...and it hasn't been that close."
"They shut down the federal government, but [Redskins fans] still came out to see this."
After halftime, with Washington scoreless: "[Zorn] can't be pleased with one element of the football displayed by the Redskins. You're playing for each other and for your jobs. Not much else needs to be said."
With the score already 31-6, after Campbell overthrows his tight end, resulting in six more points for the Giants: "It is about as embarrassing as it can get for any franchise in what we see here tonight."
"This is the worst possible showing you can have for someone new in the front office."
"All in all, [this has been] one of the most pathetic performances I've seen in all my time playing and covering the NFL."
Worst of all, in the fourth quarter, the stadium was filled with "Let's go Giants!"

Mr. Allen, your hiring was timed, in part, so that a national audience and the media could recognize a new era of change in the Washington Redskins. The team walked on the field and looked worse than ever. And that's saying something, considering the performances against the Rams, Lions, Buccaneers, Chiefs, and Falcons. Your team was, by any account, an embarrassment. The Associate Press put it this way: "In theory, the Redskins (4-10) should have had a great purpose - a desire to put on a good show for Bruce Allen, hired on Thursday in a major front office shake-up. Instead, they did a good job of showing Allen that maybe everyone ought to be fired." Wow.

All I can offer as you take on this monstrosity of an organization is inspired by John Bunyan's Pilgrim Progress. I give you one smile and bid you Godspeed.

Jeff

SCORECARD
This was such a top-down, all-hands-on-deck collapse that I will suspend the usual scorecard. Just know that the offense, defense, special teams, coaches and ownership completely failed. Did I mention that this was on national television?

There is so much utter ridiculousness by Currently Coach Zorn from the game that these moments should be sewn into a flag and draped across his box of personal items as he walks out of Redskins Park. Here are the top three moments from Monday night:

(1) In the second quarter, with Washington beginning its two-minute drill, Campbell takes yet another hard sack. Zorn, unaware of both the continual loss of time and that his starting quarterback is writhing on the ground in pain takes ten full seconds to call a time out. Come to think of it, the whole team waited a full ten seconds to call a time out.

(2) That same drive turns out to be the best of the first half, and nears its end at the Giants' 20-yard line. On 4th down, Zorn sends out the field goal team, which switches formation into a trick pass play for holder Hunter Smith. The Giants, aware that the Redskins were successful on such trickery earlier this year, call a time out. When play resumes, Zorn calls the same play, which is so poorly designed that Smith is left defenseless against three rushers. Smith is crushed but gamely tosses the ball, where there are six Giants waiting to intercept it. Zorn's explanation? "Boy, I wish they hadn't had timeouts then, but they did. They played good defense and they sniffed [the play] out." Are you kidding me?

(3) Last, and certainly not least: Afte the game, Currently Coach Zorn listed snow as one of the many "adversities" the team faced coming into Monday night's game. Yes, the snow that ended early Sunday morning and was nowhere near the field on Monday. Funny, I recall a certain Baltimore team scoring 31 points on Sunday afternoon with that adversity.

You're a nice guy, Jim, but go. Just go.

NEXT UP
Break out your old school "R" hats, it's Dallas Week. That's right, these are the Cowchips who just handed the previously-unbeaten Saints their hats down in the Superdome. Dallas has playoff position to play for, more than a week of rest, and zero fear of the Redskins. This details of Monday night's loss are just too fresh to even contemplate a scenario where Washington wins. Well, maybe some sort of Kwanzaa miracle could occur.

Week Fourteen: Accentuate the Positive

2009-12-14T01:00:00.000-05:00

Washington 34, Oakland 13

Resist the urge.

Yes, we will resist the urge:

...to say that the Redskins were supposed to win a game against a franchise so bad that fans pooled their money-during a recession!-to publicly cry out to their team's ownership.

...to roll our eyes when we hear the final score (because who watches the Redskins anymore, right?) and say "well, it's about [flip-flarn-filthin'] time."

...to say that after watching the Eagles and Giants produce nearly 900 yards of offense Sunday night, the Redskins look more like an annual distraction than a contender in the NFC East.

...to lament that Washington could easily be in playoff contention if they had simply performed as advertised, splitting wins in their division and beating the teams they were more talented than.

...to begin to fear the Worst Case Scenario: the Redskins win just enough games to fool owner Snydely Whiplash into forgetting how hideously disastrous this season really has been.

As the saying goes, if at first you don't succeed, redefine success. A Redskins final score finally looked like it was supposed to. We will therefore choose to stay positive, and celebrate Washington's outstanding defensive play, which lived up to its top-ten status by limiting the Raiders to 62 rushing yards, a 33% third down conversion rate, and dropping Oakland's quarterbacks a whopping eight times. (And no, we shan't mention that Laron "Hit Stick" Landry was still beaten in coverage multiple times for long gains.) We choose to applaud rookie kicker Graham Gano (hometown: Arbroath, Scotland!) for nailing two 40-plus field goals and all four of his extra point kicks in his Redskins debut. And Jason Campbell's maturity does indeed seem to be continuing as I predicted last week, finishing the day with zero interceptions and some smart choices to extend drives.

One negative aside: the final score shows a shellacking of the Raiders, but the win wasn't exactly entertaining. Until nearly the start of the fourth quarter, I considered naming this week's review "Week Fourteen: I Watch Washington (So You Don't Have To)." It was far from sparkling football. The score was 17-13, Oakland was being ineptly led by bench warmer Jamarcus Russell into nothingness, Jason Campbell was getting up slow again after another knockdown from a free-running defender, the referees were calling blatantly incorrect penalties, and FOX commentator Dick Stockton kept calling linebacker Brian Orakpo "Ryan." If I was able to see the game at home, I would've had my recording of Jermaine and the rest of the Jackson 5's money maker-excuse me, reality show-playing with the Raiders and Redskins in the small picture in picture.

There were some grumblings, post-game, that this game shared echoes of the Redskins' last win, a 27-17 knockout of Denver in that the level of opponent quality severely dropped with the insertion of the backup quarterback. And, sure, it's true that Jamarcus Russell's 10 completions for 74 yards and an interception don't begin to show how much he handcuffed an already yardage-challenged offense. And, OK, it's also true that Oakland is coached by a man who has no problem attempting ridiculous 66-yard field goals. In the rain. But Washington's defense played stout from beginning to end, and their pressure on pass plays was relentless enough that the Raiders could have put anyone back there and the Skins would have dominated them. As long as their first name was Matt and the last is Stafford or Cassel.

And besides, we're staying positive here.

SCORECARD
OFFENSE: B. Can you imagine Fred Davis and a healthy Chris Cooley running routes inside the red zone? With a decent offensive line to protect [insert quarterback here], the Redskins have serious air attack potential next season.
DEFENSE: A. Kudos to Brian Orakpo, who earned his own NFL highlight montage with four sacks and a forced fumble.
Sp. TEAMS: B. 297-pound Lorenzo Alexander had two great coverage tackles that could have been easily overlooked. And did Dick Stockton really say that Antwaan Randle-El is "still a threat" on punt returns, when he hasn't run one back for a touchdown since November of 2006? Sunday's effort: two returns, zero yards.
COACHING: B. Currently Coach Zorn's choice to start Quinton Ganther seems to be the right one, and the play calling over the last few weeks has actually made sense. Imagine that!
OWNERSHIP: F. Say, how much does one of those billboards run, anyway?

NEXT UP
The Redskins host the New York Giants, a team that is desperate to save their season after starting 5-0 and arriving in Washington at 7-6. Their losses haven't been to the likes of the Chiefs, Lions, or Buccaneers. No, the Giants are a quality team, and they have fallen to playoff-caliber teams like the Cardinals, Chargers, and Broncos. Watching Eli Manning and the Giants' offense post up 510 yards and win the time of possession battle by ten minutes against Philaelphia should put some healthy fear into Washington's best asset, its defense. That's where this game will be won and lost, and if the Redskins' front four can hold the New York running attack in moderate check and apply decent pressure to Manning, Washington wins, 23-17.

Week Thirteen: Epic

2009-12-06T21:36:00.012-05:00

New Orleans 33, Washington 30

Remember when there was debate about which loss by the 2009 Redskins felt worst? Some said that allowing a 90-yard drive for the tying score, then losing by two to Philadelphia was just awful. Others, of course, pointed to a narrow loss to the hated rivals in Dallas where the Skins missed two field goals and allowed Tony Romo just one good series--the winning drive. I disagreed with them all, noting that the loss to the 0-for-everything Detroit Lions was the most disappointing loss of the year.

And then came Sunday.

The term "epic" gets used far too often, along with "awesome," "hate" and "love," in common language. These are powerful words, ones that signify an experience or moment that isn't just cool, or annoys you or is smile-inspiring. Really, does your new Civic exhaust really inspire awe? Is Sarah Palin's book truly worthy of hate? Did Cesar Millan really deserve your love for his handling of Puddles the angry poodle? Probably not.

But the fashion in which the Redskins lost to the New Orleans Saints ascends into a dimension of disappointment that hurts in the most heartbreaking of ways: epic.

To truly appreciate the epicness (yes, that's made up) of this failure requires actually viewing the entire game; you don't catch the last half hour of Titanic or Lord of the Rings, right? The transcendence of this loss requires total immersion in the ebb and flow, clarity and controversy of professional football. If you're like most fans, the viewing experience will leave you with jaw dropped, incredulous, and mumbling "Wow...you have GOT to be kidding me."

Witness Jason Campbell with a career performance, throwing for three touchdowns and over 360 yards. (The Redskins had averaged just 207 yards per game before Sunday.) He was, for one day, the quarterback that His Joeness, Coach Gibbs, imagined him to be. Campbell was sharp with his reads, was confident in the pocket, and accurate with his throws. For the first time this season, he kept his jersey clean and was never sacked. He completed critical third down passes, including a 38-yarder to Santana Moss and a 44-yarder to Antwaan Randle-El. Campbell began the game smoking hot, leading the longest scoring drive of the season, 94 yards. He was magical, and every time Campbell got under center, he gave fans a feeling not felt in years: "Wow! The Skins can score at will!"

Witness the Redskins defense, who held a top-five rushing offense to just 55 yards, and harassed the number one-rated quarterback Drew Brees into three and a half quarters of mortality. The defensive line sniffed out the Saints' trademarked screens and batted down Brees' passes. Running backs Pierre Thomas and Reggie Bush were non factors for New Orleans. When the Saints were held to a field goal with six minutes left in the fourth quarter and the Redskins up by seven, fans felt: "I can't believe it! We can actually beat a great team."

Witness Shaun Suisham, who easily knocked in 32 and 28-yard field goals earlier, lining up to seal the win for Washington with a virtual chip shot kick from the 23 yard line. The offense wound down four of the last six minutes of the game, marching methodically down the field to set up this moment of victory. Fans could begin to exhale, feeling: "Hail to the Redskins! We've just pulled off the upset of the season!"

In the end, what made this loss so epically disappointing was that for the Redskins to continue their losing ways, they had to concurrently collapse in not one, not two, but all three phases of the game. The unstoppable offense had to lose its traction and turn the ball over. The defense had to go soft and allow the Saints to march without any resistance. The special teams had to pass up even the easiest of opportunities to score. All in around four minutes.

And it happened.

Witness Jason Campbell throwing his worst pass of the day, an interception to the Saints' Jonathan Vilma with 30 seconds left and the Redskins a mere ten yards from a winning field goal. And then there's fullback Mike Sellers, failing to protect the football in overtime, giving the Saints the ball and leading to the eventual winning score.

Witness Laron "Hit Stick" Landry and the defense allowing Drew Brees and the Saints offense to travel, with no timeouts and the game on the line, 80 yards in 33 seconds. The offense didn't even need to spike the ball to stop the clock once, because Brees completed his passes to players going out of bounds--the very area the defense was supposed to protect. And witness Landry getting faked out by the same double move he was faked out on for an earlier 40-yard touchdown, this time for--surprise!--a 53-yard touchdown to tie the game. This was the very area the defense was...oh, never mind.

And if you can stomach it, witness Shaun Suisham completely botching that 23-yard field goal that would have virtually won the game. Wasn't even close.

This was the game to redeem the season. Snydely Whiplash, Zorn, Sherm In the Box, and the organization could have held its head high and said that, despite losing to Dallas, failing in Philly, and being embarrassed in Detroit, they have a team that has learned to win.

Unfortunately, the fans can only conclude that the Redskins have learned better how to lose. Only now they can do so in the biggest, worst way possible.

SCORECARD
OFFENSE: B-. Campbell, Devin Thomas, and Fred Davis were cruising toward a perfect score; sadly their overall good performances are footnotes in what New Orleans radio called "one of the greatest wins in Saints history."
DEFENSE: D. Memo to any sports TV commentators covering the Redskins: please stop celebrating the high statistical ranking of the Redskins defense. They're really not that good when it counts.
Sp. TEAMS: D. Currently Coach Zorn explained the missed field goal postgame, saying that the snap from center was high and that Suisham wasn't prepared for the ball to be placed on the ground so hard. What he should have said was "Yeah, he screwed up. He wasn't alone in screwing up today, but make no mistake, Suisham is paid a lot of money to do the one thing that he didn't do today."
COACHING: A. Coaches don't bite double moves, don't miss easy field goals, and don't fumble the ball. The gameplan against New Orleans was perfect, though not perfectly executed.
OWNERSHIP: F. A shocking loss and no candid views of Snydely in his luxury box, FOX?

NEXT UP
I have been saying for some time now that the Redskins have mastered the art of playing up or down to the level of their opponents. Weeks ago, the Oakland Raiders looked like the one guaranteed win for Washington. Now, after they have knocked off the World Champion Pittsburgh Steelers, the AFC North-leading Cincinnati Bengals, and the NFC East-leading Philadelphia Eagles, it's hardly a foregone conclusion. The Raiders, statistically, are horrible. They are 31st in points and total yards. They're dead last in passing yards. Is it possible for Washington to go toe to toe with the best in the NFL, then do the same with the worst? Absolutely. But Campbell continues his improved management of the offense and the Redskins win, 21-13.

Week Twelve: The Look of Flub

2009-11-29T20:34:00.013-05:00

Washington 24, Philadelphia 27

The 2009 Redskins find themselves at a dismal, we're-playing-for-pride-and-paychecks 3-8. For the second consecutive week, the Redskins faced a division opponent, held that team's offense in check for three quarters, began to smell a win...and then flubbed the finish. They once again began to take on the persona of a competent and competitive team; but when the game's most deciding moments loomed, they yielded big plays on defense and failed to make big plays on offense. When the Redskins again had opportunities to aggressively attempt to distance their lead, the coaches opted instead to protect rather than conquer.

Nonetheless, this was Washington's most complete, best team performance of the season. The good news is that the Redskins succeeded in holding ground against a longtime rival while fielding a team of third stringers and league-minimum salary makers. And though journeyman-now-starter tackle Levi Jones was beaten like a night burglar by Eagles defensive end Trent Cole for much of the contest, quarterback Jason Campbell was only sacked once. The offense had, at one point, completed eight of their eleven third downs and chewed up clock with a nine play scoring drive. The play calling from Sherman "Sherm In the Box " Lewis actually resembled a smart, effective attack that protected Campbell with shotgun sets. The Redskins' fourth-ranked defense provided another stellar three quarters of a game performance, which combined with Eagles coach Andy Reid's questionable game plan, placed the Redskins in a solid position to win.

But oy vey, these be the 2009 Redskins. When cornerback Justin Tryon intercepted a Donovan McNabb pass early in the fourth quarter, placing the Redskins' offense near the opponent's 20 yard line, the team went limp, never attempting a pass in the end zone. They settled for a field goal, never got anywhere near the end zone again and--surprise!--those missed points were the difference in the game. Not much later, the defense needed to nurse an eight point lead in the fourth quarter but gave up a ten play, 90-yard touchdown drive. And then a two point conversion. Forty-six yards of that drive came on just one play, a pass to wide receiver Jason Avant who bounced off of an unnecessary shoulder tackle from safety Laron "Highlight Stick" Landry and rumbled forward for a nice chunk of those yards. The secondary had a repeat performance from Dallas, proving vulnerable in man coverage and at the worst possible times.

FOX color commentator Daryl Johnston exalted the Redskins at halftime of Sunday's game against the Eagles, saying "When you look at the performance in the last two and half games, these Redskins don't look like a 3-7 team."

Actually, Mr. Johnston, the Redskins look precisely like a team that has won just three games. Teams at or near .500, like the Titans, Ravens, and 49ers, give their fans a confidence that their team has the playmakers to mount a big comeback against a division opponent with a two minute drive. Or simply wallop an opponent so that the game is over before the fourth quarter.

But the Redskins? They are in the summer school of Fan Confidence Building, possessing the unique power to play up or down to their opponent but usually ending up defeated. Did any of the Washington faithful really think Campbell would lead this team into field goal range from their own 15 yard line with 1:44 left and no timeouts?

At least the 2009 Redskins haven't gotten blown out. Then again, the New Orleans Saints and their league-leading offense come to town next week.

SCORECARD
OFFENSE: B-. Campbell's continued audition for 2010 free agency is showing signs of improvement, even if he still stares down his intended receivers too often.
DEFENSE: C-. At this point, even slow-motion President Obama could get open deep on the Redskins' secondary. Kudos for outstanding work by Chris Wilson, Andre Carter and the defensive line for pressuring McNabb most of the game without $100 million man Albert Haynesworth sucking up their oxygen.
Sp. TEAMS: C. They had the opportunity to put the offense in position to win with a good run back before Washington's last drive. Instead: first and ten at the fifteen.
COACHING: C. For the record, Pittsburgh's third string quarterback, who'd only thrown one NFL pass, started against the Baltimore Ravens defense on Sunday night and attempted more deep passes than Jason Campbell.
OWNERSHIP: D. Better than an F, and that's only due to the Cyber Monday specials at the Redskins.com store.

NEXT UP
New Orleans visits FedEx Field, averaging just over 420 offensive yards per game. I can't do that in a Madden franchise season unless I adjust the CPU difficulty from All Pro to Pro. Fortunately, the Saints' defense allows an mediocre 330 yards per game. Will the Redskins' resistible force triumph over the Saints' movable object? Of course not. But the entertainment level should be sky-high. Get your fantasy players ready. Skins win (and this is pure imagination), 21-20.

Week Eleven: One for the (Back of the) Books

2009-11-16T01:47:00.013-05:00

Washington 6, Dallas 7

I love Redskins/Cowchips games. This series is the most angry of sports rivalries. These are the games that, despite the respective records, always contain quietly simmering, long-standing bitterness just waiting to explode. When Washington and Dallas collide, it's often either an epic beatdown by one team or a shocking, "I may have soiled myself!" finish that leaves sends one group into euphoria, another into a week's worth of therapy. In fact, all week on Redskins radio shows, callers proclaimed that even if this season was essentially a wash for postseason play, it would all be better if the Redskins beat Dallas.

But if ever there was a game destined for the forgotten, dust-filled corner of the rivalry vault, this was it. At halftime, there were more injury timeouts than points. In the second half, even the Dallas faithful were enthusiastically booing every three-and-out and missed field goal. You know it's a slow game when viewers eagerly wait for FOX game breaks of the Cleveland versus Detroit contest.

Kudos are deserved for the Redskins defense, which is able to hold its head high and say "hey, this one ain't on us." Anytime a defense goes on the road against a well-known opponent and holds one of the most prolific (at least statistically speaking) offenses to a mere seven points, their quarterback to a less than 50 rating for more than three quarters, and their wide receivers without a catch for most of the game, they've done their job. The 153 net yards rushing are even forgiven, considering that $100 million man Albert Haynesworth didn't play.

The offense came right back to earth after the moderate liftoff shown last week against the Broncos. Jason Campbell and Sherman "Sherm in the Box" Lewis must have some secret, unspoken plan for Campbell's post-Redskins future because Lewis continues to call a short-to-intermediate passing scheme that allows Campbell to finish with decent statistics but few points to back them up. Campbell threw for more than 250 yards on 24/37 passing and his only interception was off a tipped ball. And sure, he made a couple of good throws against Dallas' blitz. But at what point does this offense say that yes, they have patch worked protection, but no, they're not going to live off of running back dumpoffs, wide receiver screens, and seven yard routes?

The future for the offense looks all the more bleak with late news that Ladell Betts is likely out for the season with a ligament injury. One of the ironies for Washington is that despite their offensive line not having any depth, the Skins are (bad pun alert!) rock solid at running back. Third stringer Rock Cartwright filled in for Betts admirably, accounting for more than 100 yards from scrimmage. He was a nonfactor in the fourth quarter, rushing just two times. Nonetheless, he appears to be able to fill in adequately if Clinton Portis is unable to continue next week.

It's said that close games are lost by the coaches, blowouts by the players. This game certainly lends some validity to the cliche, thanks to yet another week of simple errors and questionable decisions. To wit: Dallas had just missed a field goal to tie, and now with fifteen seconds left in the second half, Washington reached its best field position of the day, the Dallas 20. A lengthy booth review process left Washington with a full six real time minutes to look through the playbook, determine a pass play into the end zone, and take an opponents' heart by taking a 10-0 halftime lead. Or, they could stand around talking with the referees, leave their kicker on the field the entire time, then wimp out and kick a field goal. Zorn and Sherm opted for the latter, and it severely cost them as Shaun Suisham shanked the 39-yard kick. If a team is relying on their kicker to score their points, well, something is terribly wrong.

But that's the byline for this entire season, isn't it?

SCORECARD
OFFENSE: F. Six points? Really? As my disgusted Pops said, "If you can't score a touchdown, you don't belong in the playoffs."
DEFENSE: A. Outstanding tackling and coverage, particularly from the good-on-paper secondary.
Sp. TEAMS: C-. The miscues include two missed field goals and an illegal wedge penalty on the kickoff when the team needed yards to retake the lead. Credit goes to Devin Thomas' strong kickoff returns.
COACHING: D. Zorn at least admitted that he screwed up the time out usage in the second half.
OWNERSHIP: F. I challenge Snydely to name his starting offensive line. Without notes.

NEXT UP
The Redskins travel north to Lincoln Financial Field to face Macho Harris and the Philadelphia Eagles. (And yes, "Macho Harris " is one of the best names for a football player, alongside "Dick Butkus," "Chris Fuamatu-Ma'afala," and "Fair Hooker.") Despite perennial thorn Brian Westbook's likely absence, the Skins' defense will have its hands full of McNabb-to-Avant, McNabb-to-Jackson, and McNabb-to-Celek. Stopping them is possible. What may not be possible is for Washington's offense to live off of the legs of Rock for sixty minutes. I wish them well, and let's hope that Washington wins, 16-13.

Week Ten: Old School Lovin'

2009-11-12T13:27:00.032-05:00

Denver 17, Washington 27

During the CBS telecast of the Redskins game, the station began the second half with a promotion celebrating their 50th year of NFL broadcasts. For fifteen seconds, CBS took the viewers back to the grainy video of the NFC Championship game on January 8, 1984. There they were: the Redskins of old, playing on the wonderfully mushy turf of RFK stadium. The smooth tones of announcer Pat Summerall narrated quick highlights of Washington's win over the San Francisco 49ers. There was Joe Theismann with his single-barred helmet, protected by Hogs like Joe Jacoby and Jeff Bostic, orchestrating a perfect play action fake to John Riggins and decisively locking in a laser pass to "Downtown" Charlie Brown, who outran future Hall of Famer Ronnie Lott for six. RFK's cheap seats was rocking after Mark Moseley straight-kicked the go-ahead score. For the lifelong Redskins fan, seeing those Days of Glory felt like being surrounded by that tattered, stained, but still comfortable Redskins sweatshirt you received for Christmas as a kid.

That 1983 team outscored every other team that season and averaged 164 yards on the ground per game on their way to a 14-2 record and Super Bowl appearance. There was a confidence back then that even if the 'Skins fell behind in the first half, Coach Joe Gibbs would make some halftime adjustment, usually involving two things: (1) running the ball and (2) running the ball. The Hogs up front knew it, the fans knew it, and even the opposition knew it. But there was just no stopping a determined, well-executed, single-minded game plan. "We're gonna run 'til you ##$# stop us!" was the identity for the Redskins not just for that year, but for nearly a decade to come.

As Earth, Wind & Fire once sang, "Something happened along the way..." and Washington lost that identity. And a whole lot of games. But for thirty minutes on Sunday, modern fans felt a portion of the experience coveted by the longtime diehards. And the result was an old school beatdown of the Denver Broncos.

Backup running backs Ladell Betts and Rock Cartwright followed the outstanding blocking of the patchwork offensive line for more than 150 yards on 35 carries. You know the offensive line is doing a great job when the Broncos' free safety, Brian Dawkins, leads his team with twelve tackles. The ground attack, combined with completing 50% of their 3rd downs, gave the home team an eleven minute time of possession advantage. The opposition simply had no answer for the pounding they received. Ah, just like the old days.

But make no mistake, these aren't the Redskins of previous decades. No, the 2009 Redskins ran the ball in the second half because, frankly, they had no choice. Jason Campbell finished another game with deceptively good statistics (17 for 26, one touchdown, no interceptions) but after the game's first series he looked uncomfortable and wasn't accurate on his long throws. He was bailed out of incompletions by his receivers because his passes were high, hard, and behind their targets. Sherm In The Box must've recognized the inaccuracies because the play calls showed much more trust in the run than the pass. Campell's only second half pass completed for more than 18 yards required the receiver, Devin Thomas, to break four tackles along the way. And don't forget that Campbell held the ball too long, resulting in sacks on three of the twelve pass plays attempted in the second half.

If calling for run left-run right-run center was obvious for Washington, it should have been equally so for Denver. The play of the game for the highlight shows was the Hunter Smith to Mike Sellers touchdown trick play, but in truth the game changed when Denver's quarterback Kyle Orton was injured and had to be sat down for the second half. For the first half, Orton had carved the Redskins' secondary for two touchdowns and nearly 200 yards. In fact, had he not overthrown a ridiculously open Eddie Royal, the Redskins could have been blown out early for the second consecutive week. Nonetheless, Orton still efficiently lead his team on a Madden-esque 18 play drive in response to Sellers' score.

With the injury to Orton, backup Chris Simms stepped in and he looked every bit like a man who plays football without a spleen. He completed just two passes for six yards before earning one more garbage time completion for seven yards. He also completed a pass to the Redskins via an unnecessary, horrid deep interception into double coverage. Meanwhile, Denver's curiously named running back Knowshon Moreno ran for 97 yards and the team averaged an impressive 5.5 yards per carry. So for all the "we shut 'em down!" chest-thumping that the Redskins defense did post game, the reality is that they were very fortunate that a man named Simms stood opposite under center.

The Redskins now sit at a poor-to-mediocre 3-6 record and without any identity. They face a murderer's row of upcoming opponents with a running back controversy, a porous secondary, and with a continuously injured $100 million Albert Haynesworth. But this win is a moment, like that clip from 1984, that is just enough reason to smile.

SCORECARD
OFFENSE: B. The offensive line and running backs deserve Monday off, if for nothing else than to recuperate from pushing the Broncos' defensive line and linebackers up and down the field.
DEFENSE: C. If the defensive line and linebackers are the Beatles, the secondary is Ringo Starr. There's no excuse for the blown coverages seen every week.
Sp. TEAMS: D. Suisham pushes two kickoffs out of bounds and Randle-El watches a punt bounce at the 31 and makes no effort to stop it from rolling to his team's nine. Egad.
COACHING: B. Was that Zorn taking credit for play calls after the game? Or did he mean "I" in, like, an organizational sense?
OWNERSHIP: F. Snydely rescinded the ban on fan signs at FedEx Field...just over an hour before kickoff when most fans were likely already on their way. Man of the people, that Danny.

NEXT UP
The Dallas Cowchips and the Big D faithful welcome Washington to the home of their monolith jumbotron. Now that the afterglow of this week's win has faded, the truth of the Skins' deficiencies is still too blinding. Can the offensive line have two great weeks in a row? Will the real Santana Moss please stand up? Will Miles Austin be open for a 30, 40, or 50 yard touchdown? I am standing firm that without more evidence of improvement, I cannot pick the Redskins to win. I also stand firm on my lifelong pronouncement that I shall never root for Dallas. My dilemma is solved thus: Dallas 13, Washington 13.

ONE MORE THING

Coach Zorn revealed in a post game interview that during this past week he fielded a call from Albert Haynesworth's mother, who advised that the players weren't having enough fun on the field. Seriously. Can you name any other professional coach who consults players' mothers? Do you think Mike Ditka ever chatted with Momma Singletary or Aunt McMahon? And what professional coach has that much time on their hands, anyway?

Week Nine: No Code, No Honor, No Fear

2009-11-03T16:15:00.015-05:00

Washington 17, Atlanta 31

With all the confusion, discord, and general malaise surrounding the 2009 Washington Redskins this season, it has been difficult to narrow down a reason for their poor record. Have there been too many injuries at key positions without strong second string players? Have the plays signaled in by Currently Coach Zorn/Sherman Lewis been poorly called and/or executed? Is Snydely Whiplash finally reaping the full measure of what he has sown in his years of mismanagement? Is this offense just great on paper and the defense overrated? Have they incurred the burning wrath of honored veterans John Riggins and Sonny Jurgensen? The answer to all of these questions, sadly, is yes.

However, in Sunday's loss--another in a now four-game Parade of Patheticisim--the 2009 Redskins have revealed yet another reason for their bottom-feeder performance: they have no fear of their leader.

Let me qualify that conclusion, somewhat, by stating that I haven't attended Redskins player-only team meetings, or been hiding in the dirty jersey bin and overheard the players' locker room conversations. Nor was I out golfing with NFL insiders Peter King or Chris Mortensen and picked up the latest clubhouse rumor.

Instead, I watched Sunday's game and here's what I saw:

With just under two minutes left in the first half, the Redskins are getting completely blown out of Atlanta's Georgia Dome, 21-3. The offense has produced 69 total yards, given up five sacks, and earned three first downs. The defense, supposedly ranked fourth best in the NFL, has already given up two touchdowns and allowed two 30+ yard runs to Michael Turner. The defense is on the field once again, hoping to preserve some measure of respect. Another Atlanta touchdown and the twenty Redskins fans in attendance might consider beating the traffic home.

Atlanta quarterback Matt Ryan scrambles right and heads out of bounds at the Atlanta 44-yard line to preserve time. Redskins safety Laron Landry, in pursuit, doesn't pull up and extends himself to hit Ryan into the Falcons' sideline as he (Ryan) is already out of the field of play. The referees throw an unnecessary roughness penalty on Landry. Cornerback Deangelo Hall, near the area, ends up in a shoving match with more than five Falcons players and two coaches (!) and eventually is pulled away by Redskins cornerback Justin Tryon. Redskins tackle Albert Haynesworth comes over and hits a Falcons player and is also flagged for unnecessary roughness. Cut to a shot of Currently Coach Zorn and he appears to be walking on the field, deciding whether to talk into his headset. Watch the whole brouhaha here.

As I saw this play happen live, I felt that this team had sunk to a new low. Not just in performance--I kind of expect that now--but in professionalism, in code, in honor. Where is this team's self-worth? Its respect? Its fear of consequence?

First, Laron Landry played without discipline on his hit. Ryan clearly exhibited an intent to get out of bounds on his scramble, and he certainly looked far enough ahead for Landry to accept that Ryan had the necessary yards for the first down. Why would Landry nonetheless launch himself into a quarterback, the most protected of all players?

Even if Landry gets a "heat of the moment" pass, take a look at Deangelo Hall. Pregame reports stated that Hall announced that he was looking forward (and not in a good way) to playing his former team. The first opportunity Hall has to mix it up with the Falcons, he's right there and is posing a potential detriment to his team. I don't buy his postgame explanation that he was just trying to help Landry. Justin Tryon, #20, is trying to help Landry. These are vastly different interpretations of "help." The video clearly shows Hall jawing and shoving with the Falcons even as Landry has already calmly left the scene.

Next, $100 million free agent Albert Haynesworth enters the fray after Hall has been separated from the Falcons and a full twenty seconds after the play is over to land an unprovoked punch on a Falcons player. This is the same Albert Haynesworth who had two penalties (one on the first play!) that helped extend the Falcons' first touchdown drive. What was he thinking--that he had a free hit since Landry's personal foul would be accepted? Did he think no one would notice? And most troubling of all, did he care?

And what did Coach Zorn have to say about three of his premier players committing unnecessary and unsportsmanlike conduct? Was he ready to tear some heads off? Was he considering some great punishment for the offenders? Here's his postgame reaction:

I thought everybody kept it together. I thought the officials handled it very well. I was watching on the big screen and I knew that DeAngelo was over there and I knew that was a bad place for him to be so I tried to get over there and help the situation. But even DeAngelo coming back to me, he had a real sense of control about the situation, too.

You're reading that right: Currently Coach Zorn thought that mess of a moment--the Associate Press called it a melee--was under control. (Zorn's interpretation of "help" apparently involves walking slowly and looking confused.) This was his chance to make clear that such unprofessional, undisciplined actions would not be tolerated. This was Zorn's Shaka Zulu moment, where he could publicly demand the strictest discipline, perfection and loyalty from his followers. He could have at the same time remind Snydely, Cerrato, and, most importantly, the fans that he is ultimately responsible and in control of this team.

But he didn't. That video clip isn't just a routine, harmless professional football scrum. This, and the other nine penalties (four giving Atlanta first downs), multiple dropped passes, and first half listlessness is evidence that the players don't fear what their coach would do to them if they embarrassed their fans and franchise with underachievement. This team has allowed itself to be defined by its circumstances. And while those circumstances are grim, frustrating, and dark, there is no reason for the players to relinquish one of the few things left to hang their hat on: the honor.

Now all that's left is the possibility that the Redskins can achieve yet low point in this season of low points. Maybe the fans will be graced with another public Snydely "I feel your pain!" statement.

SCORECARD
OFFENSE: C. I'm not impressed with their ability to have two good drives per game.
DEFENSE: D. If this team can't stop the opposition, there's the possibility of the Skins being blown out of nearly all their remaining games. Egad.
Sp. TEAMS: C. Wouldn't it have been a better measure of revenge for Deangelo Hall to return a punt for a touchdown?
COACHES: D. That first half was the result of two weeks of game planning?
OWNER: F. Thanks to a Redskins fan in Atlanta who held this sign up during the broadcast: "Confiscate This Danny! Fire Vinny!"

NEXT UP
With teams like the Denver Broncos, the Cowchips, and Saints still on the season menu, these 2-6 Washington Redskins may be remembered as having one of the worst seasons in modern Redskins history. Given their consistently poor performance, I can't in good conscience predict them to win any future games. Broncos win, 24-13.

What Would Jemima Do?

2009-11-01T23:00:00.004-05:00

Editor's note: For all of my analysis, devotion, and, yes, love of the Washington Redskins, it did not occur to me until the last few years that my favorite team's namesake was possibly politically incorrect. And maybe just a little mean. As I read recently that the trademark lawsuit alleging that the Skins' name and symbol are derogatory will be ruled on soon by the Supreme Court, I decided that I had to take some position on my own. Hence, the following. I welcome your feedback.

[Fade in to: studio audience applause and "The Next Movement" instrumental by the Roots]

Jeff Jones: Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, to the Redskins Review. If there is one issue that continues to be a source of controversy within the proud heritage of the Washington Redskins, it is, oddly, with the very name of the franchise. Here today to give her unique perspective is a well-known American icon, a woman whose name and face have been a part of the first meal for generations. Please help me welcome… Aunt Jemima.

[Enthusiastic audience applause]

Aunt Jemima: Great to be here, Jeff. How is the family?

Jeff: They are eating well, I assure you! [Polite audience laughter] And you’re looking great for 120 years old. What’s your secret?

Aunt Jemima: Well Jeff I don’t let my mind rest. Waste not, want not! I recently finished my master’s degree in social and behavioral sciences and I plan to pursue work with the National Women’s Studies Association. I get plenty of sleep…and having breakfast every day doesn’t hurt. [Winks at audience, who laughs and applauds]

Jeff: Indeed! Now, you have enjoyed an impressive record of commercial success, but your image has been no stranger to controversy. What do you make of the lawsuit and issue surrounding the name “Redskins.”

Aunt Jemima: Jeff, it’s all too familiar. Here we have a profitable business that, even though it has a long history, refuses to get with the times because of its own arrogance and naïveté. That football owner, Daniel Snyder, is so misguided that he believes he knows better how to honor a group of people than they do. That’s what this whole situation boils down to.

Jeff: Speaking of profit, the Quaker Oats folks certainly have made some off of you, haven’t they?

Aunt Jemima: You know, I haven’t always been represented on your waffles and pancake boxes with my pearl earrings and permed hair. No, dear, I was once drawn as an overweight, big smiling, bandana-wearing, batter-stirring mammy who was just all too eager to “make y’all summa mah fluffy, energizin’ pancakes!” [Nervous laughter from audience]

I started out as a joke—a joke!—from a minstrel show, and an enterprising person thought that the look, the name, and the image would be a great way to sell some ready-made mix. Yet now my face and name help sell hundreds of millions of dollars’ worth of food.

Jeff: Your look today is quite different than in the past. Why is that?

Aunt Jemima: Well, the NAACP and lots of regular folk fought back against the presentation of me as that happy heavyweight. Back then, my image connected consumers to the days of the Old South—a time when the inhumanities of slavery seemed to be justified by the images of people like me smiling, just as happy as we can be. The mammy was to the kitchen what a field Negro was to the cotton field. To make it simple, the marketing was all about convincing white women that they could have the benefits of a southern black woman-made pancake without all that uncomfortable servant-guilt stuff. It was quite successful, even in the face of protests. The press even mocked the NAACP’s efforts to have me better reflect African-American women, saying it was futile and quixotic. But, thankfully, they didn’t believe the corporate excuses and justifications.

Jeff: Even now the Quaker Oats company describes your former image as “large, gregarious, with the face of an angel.”

Aunt Jemima: [Laughs and rolls eyes] Talk about spin city. But that’s what’s going on with the Washington Redskins. History is written by the victors, Churchill once said, and the Redskins’ history of racial intolerance gets spun like drawers in a dryer. The organization acknowledges that they were named by an unrepentant, racist owner, George Marshall, who once said that the team’s colors were “burgundy, gold, and Caucasian.” He didn’t want African-Americans on his team and fought it until he had to give in so he could use the stadium that became RFK. He wanted his team to represent the Old South, just like my old image.

Jeff: Not exactly a good foundation to build on, eh?

Aunt Jemima: Hardly. So Snyder and the team really believe that this guy wanted to honor Native Americans with the team name? Right, and the original fight song saying “Scalp ‘em, swamp ‘em — we will take ‘em big score” is a love lyric to the Native American community. I wonder if the coach referenced by the team name was ever asked if he wanted to be honored that way. Heaven knows I sure wasn’t asked if I wanted “Dixieland” sung on my early radio commercials.

Jeff: What about the Redskins organization’s legal arguments, you know, about the percentages of Native Americans not offended by the name?

Aunt Jemima: There’s all this argument about how many Native Americans were polled, how they were asked, and so on. The Redskins may have asked Native Americans if they were offended by the name, but did they ask “Hey, do you feel honored? Do you like how this company has chosen to honor you?” Those are very different questions.

Then I think about the likeness—it’s a dark, red-skinned man on their helmet. Whether such and such dictionary says that “redskin” refers to skin color, or to war paint, or whatever, the point is still that the team has a red-skinned guy as their symbol. Honestly, who in today’s times uses skin color to describe a people? “Black” might be the only exception, and even then it’s inaccurate and refers more to culture, and that is defined by African-Americans. Not other people. That’s why I mentioned the arrogance earlier.

Jeff: So what are you suggesting the Washington Redskins do, lose millions of dollars over the protests of a small minority?

Aunt Jemima: Do you know what would happen if they changed the name on my box to Aunt J’s or replaced my picture with a platter of steaming food? People would buy the box and go make pancakes. Do you know how many Redskins fans would root for the team if the name were Warpath or Monuments? I’ll tell you: all of them. Marketing 101 says that if you have a good product and good promotion, people will buy it. Even--what do you call him, Snydely?--he understands that.

If Danny humbly stated that he thought it over and wants to honor the Native Americans by choosing a less divisive name, he’d win major PR points and also have the chance to sell a whole new style of hat and bumper sticker. Recycle the unsold Redskins products and he’s managed the politically correct trifecta! [Audience applauds]

Jeff: Well said! That’s all the time we have. Thank you, Aunt Jemima, for joining us and sharing your insights. Say, any truth to the rumor that you and Mrs. Butterworth are still not on speaking terms?

Aunt Jemima: Well, you can’t believe everything you hear…!

[Audience laughs and applauds. Fade out]

Week Seven: Dear Diary...

2009-10-27T00:29:00.016-04:00

Eagles 27, Redskins 17

With a respectful tip of the pen to ESPN's The Sports Guy, I decided to do a running, real time diary of the Redskins' Monday Night Football debut against the Philly Egos. I mean, Eagles. Enjoy!

PREGAME

7:15PM: On the Redskins Radio pregame show, lovable curmudgeon Sam Huff rambles out a great question, asking why if Zorn isn’t going to be calling plays, why not have Campbell call them? Unfortunately, right before he made it, he lost me by saying "I'm telling you, Jim Zorn is just like Tom Landry!" I hope when I'm that old someone pays me to say whatever I want, no matter how ridiculous it is.

8:10: ESPN's overstocked Monday Night Countdown features its third segment on what's wrong with the Redskins. In this roundtable, marginal analyst Chris Carter goes nuts, shouting "Sherman Lewis couldn’t call plays for my high school team!" It is followed by nearly three seconds of uncomfortable silence from the other four analysts. Let's maintain some perspective here, Chris.

8:20: Twenty minutes before gametime, I’m counting, fifteen, twenty, call it THIRTY THOUSAND EMPTY SEATS at FedEx Field. “You can sit anywhere you want!” says my wife. Fortunately, the Redskins faithful show up and outnumber the Eagles by kickoff.

FIRST HALF

8:30: Jon Gruden gives the best quote in the analysis of the whole Zorn/Snyder/Lewis brouhaha: “It’s not about who’s calling the plays, it’s about the eleven guys executing the plays.”

8:34: We have our first "Sherm In the Box" television shot. I’m enjoying tonight’s broadcast on my 50” 1080p high definition TV. This really is the only way to watch football. Who needs obstructed views, bad hot chocolate, and narrow parking?

8:40: Hank Williams sings this week's iteration of “Are Your Ready for Some Football?!?” I remember back when he sang the song, some fireworks went off, and they showed the Monday Night Football logo. Now they’ve got a CG concert with forty dancers, football players dressed as statues, and giant space-flying helmets that explode over the football field when they return to earth’s atmosphere. Less is more, ESPN, less is more.

8:43: Finally we have kickoff! First offensive play: a direct snap to 'Skins Killer Brian Westbrook. Uh oh. Someone’s come with trickeration!

8:45: The Redskins nightmare begins on the third play: DeSean Jackson, on an end around, zips past the defense and down the sidelines. He goes more than 57 yards before he’s even touched. Since professional football is tackle, not touch, Jackson finishes the run in the end zone. Uh oh.

8:50: The first two Washington plays: Campbell short passes yards to Cooley. I’m pretty sure I hear someone in burgundy start booing.

8:51: Our second Sherm In the Box shot, which is followed by Campbell dropping a shotgun snap, forcing a punt. Maybe it really is all about the guys on the field, eh?

8:55: Jon Gruden provides this gem of team analysis: “There are a lot of athletes on this Eagles offense.“ The rest of the guys apparently are janitors. Or quantum physicists.

I’d like to try color commenting a game. Come to think of it, what a cool way to watch games with some football friends: turn down the center channel on your stereo and just talk it out. To be fair, flip a coin to see who gets to be Pat Summerall.

8:58: Injury to Brian Westbrook timeout. “Hey, it’s Ugly Betty’s boyfriend!” I shout to my wife when a McDonald’s commercial comes on. And no, I’m not ashamed to say I’ve seen every episode. And yes, Marc is one of my favorite characters. I still have my manhood, thank you very much.

9:07: Campbell winds up, throws, and misses every receiver on the field. The crowd boos for the second play in a row. Cut to Zorn with a blue Sharpie filling out what appears to be a Bingo card.

9:09: For those keeping score, under Sherm Lewis' playcalling: two drives, two first downs, two punts.

9:17: The Redskins nightmare comes into full bloom: Campbell stares down a receiver and his pass is tipped by a linebacker and run in for six by linebacker Will Witherspoon. “Deflections are problems,” deposits Gruden.

9:23: On the ensuing drive, Campbell doesn’t feel the blitz and is stripped from behind by Will "I Am Legend" Witherspoon, ball recovered by the Eagles. The "Campbell to the Bench Watch" has officially begun. It’s over, Jason. God bless you, sir, but it is over. “Disastrous!” says analyst Ron Jaworski. No, what’s disastrous is seeing Chris Cooley carted off the field.

9:28: Philly does next to nothing with their great field position following the turnover. If I’m Andy Reid, if it’s 4^th and 5 or less, I’m going for it. The only reason they haven’t converted their 3^rd downs is because McNabb has missed open receivers. I mean, it’s not like the 'Skins are going to actually make you pay if you fail, right? Akers knocks in a 47-yard field goal and whatta ya know, it’s 17-zip and we’re barely into the second quarter.

9:30: Viewers get their second Snydely Whiplash shot of the night. He’s slumped over like a guy learning that his car meet was canceled and he has to watch Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman with his wife all afternoon. Good times. The first shot of Snydely was pregame, with he and Zorn exchanging pleasantries. I’m thinking that shot was completely staged.

9:33: The refs show mercy on the Skins and give them great field position by calling a penalty on the kickoff. The first play Sherm calls? Clinton Portis right up the middle for two and a half yards. Egad.

9:39: Campbell makes a great read and finds Devin Thomas in the end zone for six. Cut to a shot of Zorn and he’s still staring at his Bingo card. Is his headset even on? I wonder what album he's listening to.

9:44: The Skins defense shows some mettle, forcing a three and out, which included an option run by Michael “Half the Man I Used to Be” Vick that went for negative one yards. The momentum is with Washington!

9:45: Antwaan Randle-El lets the ball bounce right off his head on his punt return. For the love of all that is burgundy and gold, TAKE HIM OFF OF SPECIAL TEAMS. At this point, I’m prepared to go back there and return kicks.

9:47: McNabb skips his third 3^rd down pass of the night, keeping this game mildly interesting. Akers boots another field goal and it’s 20-7.

9:52: Cut to a shot of fans holding an “Unconditional Love” banner. No. This ain’t marriage. I pay money and support you, but you have to produce. In that money is contained my right to no longer love you. Sorry to disappoint. To help prove my point, Campbell collapses under yet another sack.

9:58: On third and #$#%% 23, DeSean Jackson gets behind SIX Redskins defenders after a double move on Carlos Rogers and catches McNabb’s pass for a touchdown. It’s now 27-7 and the nightmare deepens. Is it too much to get an impromptu Snydely Whiplash shot? Or did the network decide not to show him tying a noose?

10:07: What do you think the playcalling in the first half, Gruden? “I’m fine with the calling. Sherm is calling plays from the playbook.” And here I thought he imported them from his Madden favorites.

10:10: Zorn celebrates a two minute drive that ends with a field goal like he’s just finished the Boston Marathon. Hey, I’m all for celebrating the little things, but your team is getting effectively blown out at home on national television. Hang your head, raise your finger, and shuffle off the field.

SECOND HALF

10:27: Here’s where the high-level view of this game really takes shape: in the first half, the Skins had 36 rushing yards, 92 passing yards, three turnovers, and a paltry 3.9 yards per play. Keep callin' them plays from the playbook, Shermster. And oh yeah—the Skins’ halftime adjustments led them on a first drive…ending in a punt.

10:35: By sacking McNabb, Andre Carter reminds the fans that he is one of the few free agent pickups in Snydely’s reign to actually retain some value. (Anyone seen Mark Carrier? Brandon Lloyd?) He’s approaching team MVP status this season, in no small part to the presence of Albert Haynesworth.

10:38: Santana Moss receives a punt and does his best Randle-El impression, running sideways and losing a yard. Not that it really matters. The Skins go three and out.

10:45: Ron Jaworski: “[The Eagles] have only six first downs with 7:44 to go here in the third quarter. So you gotta give some credit to that Redskins defense. Outside of some big plays, they’ve been solid.” I’d agree, except when one of those big plays is on THIRD AND #$#% 23 AND THE RECEIVER GETS BEHIND SIX REDSKINS DEFENDERS FOR A TOUCHDOWN. But otherwise, good job, D!

10:49: Sweet baby Moses, Antwaan Randle-El has been placed back on the field to receive a punt. At this point, it’s like an episode of My Name Is Earl: why tempt Karma? What good could possibly come of this? He doesn’t run them back for touchdowns, and his only benefit—not fumbling the catch—just failed spectacularly. Is there no one else better than he?

10:54: Our third and fourth Sherm In the Box shots show him sharing some paperwork with an assistant after polishing off a refreshing Coke Classic. I wonder if he regrets taking that job in the Bingo hall.

10:56: The 'Skins leave eight players in the box, give Campbell five and half seconds to throw, and he is still sacked for a three yard loss. He never saw the defender coming right at him. Somewhere, a woman screams “You suck, Campbell!” for the home audience to enjoy. Next play, Campbell’s pass is tipped into nothingness.

We have 29 seconds left in the third quarter, and I have a sneaking suspicion that the Redskins will not score again on offense, never mind win this game.

11:01: I gave my Pops a call which led to this exchange:

Me: “Looks like the offense isn't much different than before, eh?”

Pops: “I don’t know what difference Sherman Williams--or whatever his name—is supposed to make. “

Me: “Um, I think Sherman Williams is a paint company, Dad.”

Pops: “Well, whatever.”

Meanwhile, I decide to continue watching this slow train wreck if only to see some of the awesome Tekken 6 commercials.

11:08: Following yet another sack of Campbell, Portis throws his helmet in disgust at the bench. There’s an iconic moment for the 2009 Redskins season DVD. In true Zorn fashion, the Redskins decide that, with the ball on their opponent’s 36 yard line and 14 yards to go, they are going to punt. Have you no backbone? On the play, fifteen yards get tacked on because of a Washington penalty, helping the Eagles move out of their own end. If I was at the stadium, I’d consider beating the traffic.

11:15: Yep, Tekken 6 looks incredible. My night is complete.

11:22: With just over six minutes left in the game, the Redskins finally author a productive drive, reaching the Eagles’ red zone for only the second time all night. Sherm in the Box is stoic, almost statuesque. Hold on. He’s not even moving. Sherm? You okay? Sherm?

11:26: Here it is, ladies and gentlemen: the moment that defines this game. With four minutes left, on 4^th and goal from the four, the Redskins decide to man up and just go for it. Campbell never gets the shotgun snap, as it ricochets off the center Casey Rabach’s right butt cheek. The Eagles recover the ball and the remaining fans stream toward the exits.

With no sense of mercy for the fans, the Skins attempt to preserve the clock by calling timeouts.

11:34: The Eagles rush five and pick up their sixth sack. ESPN gives us another beautiful high level view of how horrible the offensive line has been tonight: 43 drop backs, six hurries, 14 hits, six sacks. At this point, there aren’t enough Redskins fans left in the stadium to hear boo.

11:42: Fred “Just send me out to catch, thanks” Davis scores a completely meaningless touchdown. Dear Heaven, can we just end this game here? Please? And why was there only one Tekken commercial?

11:50: The Redskins fans begin the “Fi-re Sny-der” and “Sell-the-team!” chants.

POSTGAME SCORECARD

OFFENSE: D+. Portis runs for 43 yards while Campbell throws 46 times. That’s right, 46 times. I’d love to hear how and why Sherm Lewis thought they should go with this game focus. But in the end, this offense looked just as confused, inconsistent, and inept as they have been all season. Now with Chris Cooley reportedly having a broken ankle, the potential for this offense plummets.

DEFENSE: B. The defensive line and linebackers are doing great, putting pressure on the quarterback and stuffing the run. The secondary…not so good. I don’t trust ‘em. Landry bit hard on DeSean Jackson's end around run and could only watch him score. Zorn said that DeSean was “wicked fast,” but he looks even faster when you take the wrong pursuit angles and bite on double moves.

Sp. TEAMS: F. Antwaan Randle-El’s fumble was a turning point in the game’s momentum. End this foolishness now.

COACHES: F. Postgame press conference quote of the night: Hey Currently Coach Zorn, what’d you think of Sherm calling the plays? “The results were the same.” ‘Nuff said.

OWNER: Z-. Does the Pro Football Hall of Fame have a basement, where they profile the worst of the league? Can we put Snydely and Al Davis down there?

NEXT UP

The Redskins limp into a bye week at a horrendous 2-5. They are a team without heart, a team without direction, a team without a future. Heaven help them.

Week Six: More Fizzle Than Spark

2009-10-15T23:22:00.019-04:00

Kansas City 14, Washington 6

There comes a time in a football fan's life that you sense the sad reality that your team just isn't failing to reach its potential, or succumbing to select injuries, or battling through an unusually difficult part of the schedule. That reality settles onto your mind, like softly falling black soot, rendering your explanations, excuses and hope virtually unrecognizable. The ugly, undeniable truth is that your favorite team stinks.

Gentle Redskins fans, that time is now. And the future isn't looking particularly bright, either.

Saying that the Redskins stink isn't perhaps the most accurate way to describe the 2009 team. (Although channelling your inner Thor the thunder god and proclaiming "Yon Redskins stinketh most foul!" certainly feels good.) No, Washington is best described this way: they deserve to be winless. They barely beat two horrible teams--who remain winless--and looked less than competitive in the other four games. They have yet to score more than two touchdowns in a game. They brought in an offensive guru to provide guidance and the team scored six points, its worst performance of the season.

Meanwhile, reports surfaced around 8PM Sunday that owner Daniel Snyder (henceforth Snydely Whiplash) and executive vice president of operations Vinny "Cuttin' Edge" Cerrato have recommended that Currently Coach Jim Zorn give up his game day play calling to "focus on head coaching." So if Zorn was hired originally as offensive coordinator, then promoted to head coach, and now being told that he isn't calling the plays during games...what is his job going to be on the sidelines? Will he stand on the sidelines saying "What the [philharmonic] are you doing?!?" If he isn't influencing the plays being called, will he even have a headset? If he does, can fans recommend music for him to listen to? ("Learn to be Lonely" from Phantom of the Opera comes to mind.) Does he even need to show up for games, allowing the CPU to play his selected players like it's PlayStation Madden?

The Redskins have officially begun rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. In Zorn's postgame press conference, he conceded that he wasn't calling the right plays, and that he thought that benching Jason Campbell for Todd Collins would provide a spark but managed only a fizzle. But the play calling (horrendous as it has been) is just one piece of this morbid mosaic of a season.

There's been the draft picks like Malcolm Kelly and Fred Davis who have barely contributed, there's the questionable pocket decisions of Jason Campbell, there's been the disappearance of Santana Moss for most of the season, there's been the inexplicable continual use of Antwaan Randle-El as punt returner, there's been the poor management of time outs and, ultimately, there is the mismanagement of Snydely Whiplash and Cerrato in refusing to spend money shoring up the offensive line in the offseason.

How much of that is going to change with Sherman "Ladies, we're playing four-corners Bingo this round!" Lewis or someone else calling plays? Does management really believe this to be the spark the team needs?

Uber-coach Tony Dungy had an interesting response to the news on NBC's Football Night in America: " I went through this in Tampa (Bay). This is not a good thing. I made a mistake and acquiesced to [giving up playcalling duties]. If you're Jim Zorn you have to say 'hey I'm in charge of this team on the field. If I'm not, get rid of me.' " That's a bold position to take, and for context remember that Dungy had the luxury of some playoff appearances with the Buccaneers to stand on when making that declaration. Zorn hasn't had even a fraction of that success here.

But come November, this will all be moot.

There was one play during this loss to Kansas City that is simultaneously the best and worst of the day, exemplifying the little that is right and all that is wrong with this team. In the third quarter, Clinton Portis broke free for a 78-yard scamper, his career longest run. A cause for celebration, correct? Maybe. But watch the video. Enjoy it. Cheer if you like. Then watch it again without the sound of analyst Rich Gannon's fawning compliments.

Fullback Mike Sellers--a man paid to block!--leads the way for Portis down the field. The initial blocking is outstanding. And with fifty yards to the end zone, Sellers ends up with just one man to block. Portis has just one man to run around, using Sellers as a screen. Sellers appears to just poop out and fall down at the 25 yard line. Portis inexplicably never cuts back to the wide open middle of the field and continues running an angle directly into the tackler. He doesn't even attempt a stiff arm! Instead of seven points--which in this game certainly looked like it would have placed Washington in position for victory--the Redskins earned a first and goal. The drive ended with a field goal and the Skins went on to lose by the margin of a touchdown. These are the plays that define a team.

Contrast Sellers' blocking effort to the work done by the Oakland Raiders rookie wide receiver--a man not paid to block!--Louis Murphy on tight end Zach Miller's 86-yard touchdown catch. Murphy not only completely decimates the first available Eagles tackler, but stays on his feet, catches up to the still-running Miller and makes another block thirty yards down field. Murphy even gets in the way of a third Eagle speeding up as Miller crosses the goal line.

You know things are bad in Washington when the Oakland Raiders show more desire to score than the Redskins.

SCORECARD
OFFENSE: F. Ugh. How do you know a coach doesn't believe in his offense? With just over two minutes left, down by six points, Zorn elects to punt on 4th and 14 on the Redskins' 24. When the punt team walked on the field, I screamed "Why are you punting? What do you have to lose?!?" Sure enough, the punt boomed and the Skins had just one more offensive play...which was a safety for Kansas City.

DEFENSE: B+. This loss falls in no way on the defense, who held the Chiefs to four field goals, no touchdowns, and earned a total of five sacks. Only Carlos Rogers' poor coverage of Dwayne Bowe on the Chiefs' last drive lowered the grade.

Sp. TEAMS: D. Aside from kicker Shaun Suisham's continually accurate work, the team really isn't special, having a punt blocked and providing zero short fields for the anemic offense.

COACHES: F. Yon coaches stinketh most foul.

OWNERSHIP: F-. Remember last week when there was unintentional comedy in Snydely's management of the team? Nobody's laughing now.

NEXT UP
This is it: the siren song for Jim Zorn. And what better stage on which to gracefully bow off than the national broadcast of Monday Night Football. Washington faces the Philly Egos at FedEx Field. Philadelphia is coming off one of its most embarrassing losses in recent memory, 13-9 to the hapless Oakland Raiders. They, like everyone else in the league, knows that no team can make you feel better about yourselves than the 2009 Washington Redskins. At this point in the season, it is nearly impossible to pick the Redskins to win another professional football game. (Do they play the Riverdale Baptist JV team in December?) Nonetheless, I hold out the very last sliver of hope that the defense scores all the touchdowns. Washington wins, 13-10.

ONE MORE THING
You know a team has lost its Q-rating (that industry standard of measuring commercial appeal) when the most exciting Redskins promotion teaser is this from Friday night: "This Sunday, on NFL Gameday Morning...find out why Chris Cooley is so fired up...about pottery. Only on NFL Network."

Week Five: Impressively Unimpressive

2009-10-11T18:13:00.016-04:00

Washington 17, Carolina 20

Another week, another winless team earns its first win at the Redskins' expense. As a fan, you really have to take your hat off to a team that can consistently be inconsistent. It takes work. Sure, there are teams like the Browns and Raiders who perform poorly every time they take the field. There's no fun in watching a team that just stinks. But there really is magic to a team like the Redskins that can, week to week, look better on paper than their competitor, underachieve just enough to lose, yet leave a sliver of hope that they won't do it again next week.

To look this impressively unimpressive, you need an intense week of distractions, squabbles, and general tomfoolery. Take a look at the last seven days in Washington Redskins history and tell me they didn't meet that requirement:

Sunday (Oct. 7): After watching embarrassing play all season, ticket-holding fans are prohibited by FedEx Field staff from bringing paper bags to the stadium to wear in protest. That same day, it is revealed that benched strong safety Chris Horton blasted his defensive coordinator and other teammates on his blog. The post mysteriously disappears pregame. The Redskins lose--excuse me, barely win--at home against a rookie quarterback-led Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

Wednesday: Owner Daniel Snyder and vice president of operations, Vinny Cerrato, think it a good idea to bring in a "consultant" to help Currently Coach Zorn and his offense. ("Snydely Whiplash" will henceforth be the reference for the owner of the Redskins due to the way he's ruining the team, like Dudley Do-Right's arch nemesis. It's only a matter of time before he grows a mustache, installs train tracks on FedEx Field and ties the players to it.) So where might Snydely and Cerrato locate this Savior of the Offense? Were they currently employed by a successful franchise? Might they be at home, preparing for work by concocting creative NFL strategies?

No, silly rabbit, these are the Redskins. They get their help from guys five years removed from football and currently calling Bingo at a senior center.

Sometime midweek: Reports surface that fullback Mike Sellers looked to attack Clinton Portis after Portis' public criticisms of Sellers' lack of blocking. The players need to be separated to avoid an altercation. In the following press conference, Zorn states that he has no problem with the possible fight between his number one running back and his number one lead blocker...apparently because there was only "nudging and posturing." In fact, he kind of liked it. Against Carolina, Sellers barely blocks on the play which results in the Panthers tackling Portis for a safety. Hmm...

Thursday: Defensive coordinator Greg Blache meets with the press for his weekly news conference to discuss the defensive game plan for the Carolina Panthers. Instead of meeting as usual near the player lockers, he conducts it outside in the sun. Total time of the conference? One minute, twenty seconds. Currently Coach Zorn's explained the change. "For Greg, he's really needed a break," Zorn said. "And so from his standpoint, we've talked about it. I actually have talked to the league about a break for him, and they've agreed, so I would put it as personal reasons. ... It's something that is important and he's doing it for the right reasons, but it is a needed break for him so that's why I've allowed it." Well, then. Next question.

You know these be dark days in Washington when even the Hogettes have to post a public cease and desist against impostors. You remember the Hogettes: grown men celebrating the stout, championship-winning offensive line from the 1980s by dressing like pig snout-sporting Mama from Mama's Family. Frankly, I can't see why any fan would bother trying to imitate such an outdated football reference; the Skins haven't had a worthy offensive line in more than a decade. It's like arranging a group of dedicated middle aged men to recreate the Fun Bunch high fives in the parking lot before each home game.

Sunday (Oct.11): With guru Sherman "B-20, I-85" Lewis observing and reporting on ways to make the offense better, the Redskins manage a paltry 22% third down completion rate and 74 rushing yards on 24 attempts against one of the worst rush defenses in the league. The offense never adjusts its scheme after losing Chris Samuels to injury and it can't sustain second half drives to ice a winnable game. The offensive line allows five sacks and the team's best receiver, Chris Cooley, has zero receptions.

There you have it. Seven days, whether intended or not, to further cement the Redskins in the Hall of Mediocrity. Let's see what the next seven days bring. I'm hoping for a full page apology in the Washington Post from ownership.

Now that would really be impressive.

SCORECARD
OFFENSE: D If I were Campbell, I'd seriously begin looking into reputable cross-country moving companies. His numbers may look good, but the on-field product is still lackluster.

DEFENSE: B My Pops and I agree that if a defense can keep its opponent under 20, they've earned a satisfactory grade. Given the two points and general ineptitude offered by the offense, the defense earns an even higher mark this week. Remember earlier this year when I faulted DeAngelo Hall for tackling like Deion Sanders after a manicure? Not so funny now, is it?

Sp. TEAMS: C- Don't punt returners practice yelling "ball!" or "pepper jack cheese!" or something to alert their blockers that the ball is coming their way? Does Randle-El know any of these code words?

COACHING: D- Currently Coach Zorn has managed to take a team at 6-2 (from last season) and rally off just four wins in his next thirteen games. Wow.

OWNERSHIP: F+ Snydely manages a "+" on the pure unintentional comedy that is his management of this team.

NEXT UP
Allow me to pat myself briefly on the back for being oh-so-close predicting the scores for the last two games. Last week I predicted a 20-17 Redskins win on a defensive touchdown and before that I predicted a close game against Tampa Bay.

What has this team come to when you are nervous about the winless Kansas City Chiefs sauntering into FedEx Field? Even after their narrow loss to the Dallas Cowchips, there isn't a single reason to fear this team. Nor is there a single reason why the Skins should lose this game. The Chiefs lost to the Oakland Raiders, the universally agreed worst team in all the NFL. For crying out loud, how could it possibly be that I'm fearing yet another upset?

Redskins win. Heaven knows I want to give the Skins offense credit for more than two touchdowns, but I can't bring myself to do so in good conscience. Redskins win, 17-14.

Week Four: We Don't Need Another Hero(es)

2009-10-04T17:31:00.012-04:00

Tampa Bay 13, Washington 16

Not too long ago, I was a huge fan of Heroes . Since I grew up reading Spider-Man, the X-Men, and (yes, I admit it) G.I. Joe comics, I loved that NBC gave we geeks a show that looked like it jumped off those color pages. The first season featured a cadre of super powered guys and gals working to avert a prophesied New York apocalypse. There was drama, romance, and a bad guy who ate people's brains to gain their powers. Yeah. That was great television.

Then came Season Two. Peter Petrelli, a hero with around twelve powers, was placed in box, given amnesia, and sent to Ireland. One of the most popular characters, the time-bending Hiro, was isolated in a feudal Japan plotline for most of the season. That cool antagonist who ate people's brains? He became a threat to no one, spending the better part of the season travelling from Mexico with two new throwaway characters. Midway through the season, I felt like I just couldn’t take another lame plot contrivance and I was ready to jettison my support and catch up with Marie Osmond’s progress on Dancing with the Stars.

But then Heroes would do something just awesome enough to keep me watching. One time it was the introduction of the New Orleans fast food worker who could mimic the fighting style of anyone she saw. Then there was the great showdown between Matt Parkman and his father the Boogeyman, two men who could manipulate reality. And in those moments, I remember looking over at my wife and saying "There may be hope for this season after all."

One scene later, I'm watching the indestructible cheerleader Claire and her boyfriend recreating teen angst with all the skill of a high school rendition of The Breakfast Club. And my thumb began hovering over the channel skip button. I just couldn't bear to watch any more.

Welcome to the 2009 Washington Redskins.

For every moment of satisfaction, like Clinton Portis rushing for nearly 100 yards, DeAngelo Hall finally making a game changing interception, or Jason Campbell lobbing a gorgeous touchdown to Santana Moss, there are ten to fifteen moments that inspire nausea. Like Campbell following up that touchdown with his third horrific interception. Or Campbell fumbling on the first drive. Or the sad realization that if the Buccaneers had a decent quarterback and field goal kicker, it is very likely that the Redskins would have lost this game.

Come to think of it, the entire first half of Sunday's game seemed to be one long Heroes scene with Claire and her father arguing about whether she deserves a normal life. You know it's bad when Sam Huff and Sonny Jurgensen are stifling their laughter at the offense during the Skins' game broadcast.

After the win, there appeared to be a celebration of the Redskins' aggressiveness and poise, as if Jim "Currently Coach" Zorn had somehow unearthed Washington's inner Indianapolis Colts. I'm not buying it, not after essentially one good quarter of progressive football. Squeaking by two of the NFL's worst teams (the Rams have lost by 35, 28, and 19 points in their other games) is hardly time to cheer anything. This team must fear their second half of the season.

[Jeff's finger begins to hover over the channel skip button...]

SCORECARD

OFFENSE -- C. The jury is still out on Campbell and his future in the burgundy and gold.

DEFENSE -- B. Wouldn't it be nice to see our defense pitch a shutout on the lesser teams?

Sp. TEAMS -- C. Didn't I read somewhere that Antwaan Randle-El was hired to also return punts? Effectively?

COACHING -- C-. You're the coach and your quarterback has looked like JaMarcus Russell for three and half games. It's halftime and you haven't scored. If it's me with the headset, I'm seeing what my backup can do.

NEXT UP

The Redskins travel to no-win Carolina as the Cakewalk Tour continues. Don't let their 0-3 record fool you--they are actually competitive, if not mistake-prone. Unlike Washington's previous cakewalk opponents, the Panthers can actually score points and the defense again will have to shoulder the burden of respectability. Washington wins on a defensive touchdown, 20-17.

ONE MORE THING

Here's something that made me stop eating my curly fries, pause the TiVo, look off in the distance, say "uh, what?" During the Bucs/Skins game broadcast, the viewers were reminded that safety Reed Doughty is hearing impaired. Not a tremendously big deal. In fact, it's quite admirable that he excelled at Northern Colorado and made it to the highest level of professional football.

What made me roll my eyes was that the Redskins didn't know he was hearing impaired until after he was sitting in team meetings reading lips during his rookie year. Let me get this straight: the Redskins scouted, interviewed, drafted, and paid money for a player and didn't realize he couldn't hear? This is the team I root for?

Week Three: Pardon My French

2009-09-27T21:01:00.011-04:00

Detroit 19, Washington 14

There was a moment, during the fourth quarter of this game, when the sideline cameras caught Jim "Currently Coach" Zorn's emotional reaction to one of the many errors made by the Redskins. His eyes were moist with desperation, his eyebrows furled with disbelief. Even his headset was off kilter in frustration. Though the viewers couldn't hear his voice, it was easy to read his lips. This is a family column so I will give it a gentle translation.

"What the [naughty word] are you doing?!?"

Zorn wasn't alone: my Pops and I watched the Redskins' performance against the Lions and said some variation of the same thing. For sixty game minutes. I practically screamed it as Zorn called a Hook and Ladder with eight seconds left that began with Santana Moss, who lateraled to Antwaan Randle-El, who tossed to...Ladell Betts. Watch the play. There's no one else in position to receive a Betts lateral. That's right: Zorn actually called a play designed for his backup running back to weave his way through the entire Detroit defense. (Equally egregious was Betts' decision to not run out of bounds when the final two seconds could have been saved.) Even still, why would you draw up a Motor City Miracle that begins with your best receiver catching the ball thirty yards from the end zone?

"What the [flip-flarn-filth] are you doing?!?"

It really is difficult to quantify how pathetic it is to lose to the Detroit Lions. This is a team which hadn't won a game since before the recession. They were on pace to earning the title of Consistently Worst Team in NFL History. (Yes, I made that up.) Their starting quarterback was heretofore leading the league in interceptions. Googling "How bad are the Detroit Lions?" produces more than a million hits. Even the Baltimore Orioles would point and laugh. Watching Detroit for the last year and half was worse than enduring a marathon of those painfully unfunny Coors Light press conference commercials. (Though I would submit that viewing Jared the Subway Guy "singing" with Michael Strahan and Justin Tuck comes a close second.) There was zero mystery in facing this team. With apologies to Dennis Green, the Lions were who we thought they were.

Armed with this information and the knowledge that the Redskins needed desperately to salvage the remaining slivers of league respect, Currently Coach Zorn's team led the Redskins...to perhaps the worst thirty mintues of football in franchise history. Zero rushing yards. Eight minutes of offense. 94 passing yards. Detroit converted 9 of 11 third downs. Scoring drives were allowed of 11, 12, and 17 plays, including one drive of 99 yards. Detroit's quarterback was having a ball, winking to receivers, slapping buttocks and wagging his tongue like Jordan as he embarrassed the Skins' defense.

As the FOX halftime circus began, Pops and I played a depressing but nonetheless entertaining game of "Who Screwed This Up?" We don't really call it that, but that's where the discussion usually ends up. Pops, never a member of CHASM, laid the goose egg of scoring at Jason Campbell's feet. (It didn't help that Campbell let a dry football slip from his hand while trying to pass, Bad News Bears-style.) I argued that Zorn's horrendous decision making raised the stink--who doesn't take the easy field goal but instead calls a lazy off-tackle run on 4th and goal? Who accepts a third down penalty, giving a red hot Detroit offense another attempt when they'd just effortlessly moved the ball 60 yards on your defense?

"What the [cheese 'n grits] are you doing?!?"

Pops always gets the last word in Who Screwed This Up?, and his pearl of wisdom was "You know, George Allen always said that 'Your first drive of the second half determines how you'll finish. '" Um, I didn't think Allen ever said that, but I deferred on the grounds that I was around five years old when he coached. The Redskins did register a pulse by scoring quickly on their first drive of the second half. But then they reverted right back to the inepticalities (trust me, it's in the dictionary) and had to scramble at the end to try and save face.

Mike Wise asked the question "if you lose to the worst team in football, doesn't that make you the new worst team in football?" Ouch. Allow me, sir, to proffer another question: "If Jim Zorn can't prepare his team to face the worst team in football, and can't rally his troops to come back after half time against the worst team in football...then why are you here?"

What the [shizzlesticks] are you doing?!?

SCORECARD
Offense -- C. Kudos to Santana Moss for gouging their secondary for nearly 180 yards. And not getting into any fights.

Defense -- D. No, make it an F. The defense was so bad it made Pops run to the computer to add Matthew Stafford to his fantasy team. "He's gotta be good!"

Sp. Teams -- B.- I said it last week, I'll say it again: could we run back a kick for a touchdown? Once? Please?

Coaching -- F. My buddy Big Wes sent me this text: "The Saints called. They would like to donate their holey paper sacks to wear for your next home game." Well that was hurtful. Believe me, if I was attending, you'd see me sporting a Whole Foods chapeau. Perhaps Zorn could use one to escape off the field next week.

NEXT UP
When this season started, fans looked at the home game versus the Tampa Bay Buccaneers as just another of the candy canes the Redskins would beat on their way to a probable 5-2 start. (Lose to the Giants, beat the Rams, Lions, Bucs, Panthers, Chiefs, lose to Dallas.) At this point, there are no easy games, no guaranteed wins, and no room for error. If I were Daniel Snyder, I'd place a cardboard cutout in the owner's box and watch from home. Just in case the fans realize who really is at the center of this mess of a team and storm his suite with flaming seat cushions.

I am hoping against hope, wishing all I can wish, dreaming of what might be. Skins win, 17-10. I need to lie down. The percocet's setting in...

Week Two: Taboo to boo?

2009-09-20T23:18:00.007-04:00

Rams 7, Redskins 9

I've followed these Washington Redskins for more than three decades, and I feel confident in saying that I have experienced the full range of highs and lows. But I have never, ever, ever seen the Redskins booed by the home team after a win.

Yes, the Skins have had their share of despicable home performances, such as the 1997 Monday night loss to the Giants when Gus Frerotte injured himself celebrating at touchdown and the Skins couldn't muster a field goal to break the tie. Then there was the 35-point loss in 1998 to the Steve Young 49ers at then-Jack Kent Cooke Stadium. The Redskins deserved every catcall, hiss, and boo that rained down from above.

But on Sunday, did the Redskins deserve to be jeered like the Undertaker as they left the field after outscoring another highly paid, highly trained franchise?

Absolutely.

Here's how the rest of the media viewed the win: "Redskins edge Rams in low scoring affair" (NBC). "Redskins settle for field goals to get past Rams (ESPN)." "I think I haven't seen a win that seemed so much like a loss as Washington's 9-7 snoozer over the Rams (Sports Illustrated)."

So imagine how I, and approximately 90,000 of my Redskins-loving brethren, felt when Zorn and his West Coast "offense" produced nine points at home against a far inferior opponent. What level of frustration might we have been experiencing for three hours when we saw dropped touchdowns, Zorn fooling no one with a failed red zone 3rd down option pass, and not one but two tremendously dangerous 4th down rushes when a field goal would seal the game?

How do you express your displeasure at such gridiron impotence?

Booooooooooooooooo! (Breathe.) Boooooooooooooo!

Not only did I boo during the game, but I booed the Redskins hours later as I watched the Cowchips and the Giants display gritty, competitive, score-some-points football. (Even if they did so in the Den of Iniquity where they feature Go-Go Girls and Jerry Jones' habitual nose-picking.) I booed when I saw that the Baltimore Ravens are the second highest scoring offense in the league. Truth be told, I let a boo slip out Monday night as I watched Peyton Manning hit Dallas Clark for an 80- yard touchdown on the first play of the game and as Miami responded with the multiple Wildcats to tie the game moments later.

For the Redskins fan, we booed because we know that our team plays in the toughest division in football. We booed because we know that medicore performances might make us a contender in the pansy NFC West (apologies to the good lookin' SanFranSingletary 49ers), but it is certain to doom us to being bottom-feeding plecostomus of the East. We booed because the Redskins haven't beaten an opponent by more than eight points since Zorn arrived.

We booed because--wait a minute, there's a Tweet coming in from a Redskin player, Robert Henson. Let's see if he can shed some light on the fan reaction from Sunday:

All you fake half hearted Skins fan can .. I won't go there but I dislike you very strongly, don't come to Fed Ex to boo dim wits!! ... No I didn't play but I still made more than you in a year and you'd [gladly] switch spots with me in a second, I was talking to the fans [who] said the crazy stuff, I'm use [to] heckling but I've never been booed in my own stadium....

Well that was enlightening, Mister 186th Pick In The Draft. Henson, whose jersey can't possibly get soiled as third string middle linebacker, also added that the fans can't possibly know what the team should do since they work 9 to 5 at McDonald's.

Now, to be fair, Henson did apologize on Monday, after he was corrected by fans, veteran teammates, and on the air by a livid Comcast SportsNet's Brian Mitchell. (No one enjoys the journalistic use of expletives like Sir Mitchell, eh?) But the damage is done.

The irony of Henson's tweets is that the exact opposite is true: I have every right to call you out vocally when I use my 9 to 5 to subsidize your multi-million dollar contract. I am perfectly justified to boo from my $5000 Dream Seat when your offense can't get out of its own way. Heck, I can boo you because I wear your team's colors on my back and its symbol on my head.

I can boo you because we fans deserve much, much more than what you're giving us. Don't like it? Move to Jacksonville where they blackout telecasts because the fans don't go to the games.

What Worked

The defense played well, though it again allowed sustained drives by the opposition. "Bend but don't break" as a defensive philosophy makes me nervous. I am continually concerned that DeAngelo Hall tackles like Deion Sanders after his manicure and that LaRon Landry goes all-or-nothing on some of his hits. But I'll take those issues, especially when the team so greatly benefits from the guys up front: Orakpo, Haynesworth, Carter and Griffin. Add in team leaader London Fletcher and I suspect the D will save the offense's bacon more than a few times in 2009.

Jason Campbell helped stave off the folding of CHASM (Campbell the Hero Apologist Society of Maryland) with a "well, at least he didn't lose it for us" performance. But getting to the promised land isn't the same as going in the promised land. Just ask Moses. If he's available. Should the Redskins score just a touchdown or two on those 12 plays inside the 10 yard line, they look like they've hit a stride and are expected to win the upcoming games against the Detroit Sisters of Mercy and the Kansas City Glee Club.

What Didn't Work

Anyone seen Santana Moss? Does he still run patterns designed to make him available to catch a forward pass?

SCORECARD
OFFENSE F (Thank Heaven there's a Cooley on our team.)
DEFENSE B
Sp. TEAMS C (Wouldn't a nice, long, highlight-making punt return be nice? Once a year too much to ask?)
COACHES F (I'm reserving the Z-minus for when Zorn really tanks a game.)

NEXT UP
Detroit welcomes Washington, hoping to put the game out of reach by scoring 14 points. Fletcher and Company will have none of it. Redskins win, 13-7.

Week One: Back on Familiar Ground

2009-09-16T15:46:00.013-04:00

Week One: Back on Familiar Ground

It has been nearly three years since the Redskins Review dove into the exciting, hopeful, and heartbreaking world of the Washington Redskins. When last we spoke, it was November 2006, and the Redskins were enduring a painful 5-11 end to a their season. Under center was the rapidly deteriorating southpaw, Mark Brunell. (Would you believe that he's still earning an NFL paycheck? Is he 60 yet?) The last Review post, ironically, noted that Jason Campbell, a 2005 Auburn draft choice by Coach Gibbs, was to be named the starter on November 19, 2006. At the time, Gibbs said, "When we drafted him we felt like we had a very talented person there, and certainly when we give him the starting job we're going to do everything we can to support him, and hopefully it's going to be something that he takes and makes the most of."

In 2007 the Redskins fans finally got to taste a bit of the sweet nectar that owner Daniel Snyder has been spending gazillions on: the playoffs. The team endured a mid-season four game losing streak (including Gibbs' infamous double-time out gaffe versus the Bills) and the unsettling murder of Sean Taylor to make a wholly unexpected late season run into the playoffs, where they self-destructed in Seattle.

In that offseason, Coach Gibbs downshifted into the NASCAR sunset, defensive coordinator and fan-nominated successor Gregg Williams left after being snubbed for the head coaching position, and the Era of Zorn began in 2008. Jim Zorn, whose previous claim to NFL fame was as the Seattle Seahawks' quarterback coach, rode into a town where virtually none of the residents knew his name. That's not necessarily a bad thing--a virtually unknown Illinois senator managed to earn D.C.'s most powerful position when two years prior few could spell his name correctly. But it had to be clear to Zorn when he signed on the dotted line: win now or else. (Or as I like to say, "you can't spell 'Washington' without the 'win.' " Something like that.)

To what heights did Zorn take the Redskins, a team who has had only two winning seasons and hasn't won their division since 1999? What did his West Coast, zippy-pass offensive stylings produce? Might the Redskins destroy the teams they're supposed to beat, and stand tall against superior talent? Would there be, finally, a prime-time worthy performance during prime time? Could they win against a four-fingered Tony Romo?

Nope.

8-8. Mediocrity.

The team lost 7 of its last 11 games after starting 4-1, losing to mutton chops San Francisco, St. Louis, and Cincinnati.

Let it be said that from 2006 until now, I have been a card carrying member of the Campbell the Hero Apologist Society of Maryland (CHASM). We meet on Tuesdays. Our once vivacious and vocal group has slimmed from hundreds of members to, well, a few hard core dreamers. (The initial meetings were held in the luxury boxes at FedEx Field. Now we're relegated to the "executive dining area" of the Route 100 Golden Corrall.)

In our manifesto it is decreed that: 1.Sir Campbell, when given the same benefits of consistent coaching enjoyed by the Peyton Mannings and Tom Bradys of the world, will prove to be the man worth three draft picks. 2. Campbell simply needs a good offensive line, a fair amount of time to pass, and a moderate running game to be able to take the Redskins offense to heights nary seen in decades. 3. Campbell is a great guy, a God-fearing gentleman who not only gives back to D.C.'s community, but dates Miss District of Columbia 2007. (Now if that's not commitment to your new home town, I don't know what is.) By this we stand, ready to defend what some might see as inconsistent/nonexistent decision making in the pocket.

This brings us, fatefully, to Week One of the Redskins' 2009 NFL season. The talk before kickoff was that this season--a contract year for Jason Campbell--is to be the Year We Get It Together. After dumping more than $100 million into Albert Haynesworth and the defense, now that draft picks Malcolm Kelly and Devin Thomas are fully healed, given that Campbell has finally learned one playbook under one offense, it is assumed that it will all come together for positive, postseason success.

Giants 23, Redskins 17.

Egad. Don't let the six points fool you: the Redskins were handled for the entire game. The Redskins looked, aside from one brilliant (or was it desperate?) fake field goal touchdown, exactly like the Redskins of last season...of the previous season...of the one before that. Even when it looked like it was maybe-just-maybe possible that they could score once, get the onside kick, then score again, the team had already emitted such a mildly irritating odor that Redskins fans just knew it wasn't going to happen.

(One quick aside: the New England Patriots faced nearly the exact same circumstances on Monday night against the Buffalo Bills, yet I watched expecting Brady and company to pull off some miracle. I was sure that Magic Tom would somehow score quickly, then alter time, space, and NFL rules and get the ball back again, then score a last-second touchdown. How did it turn out? See for yourself.)

So how quick was the fallout from the Redskins' performance? Let's see what the Washington Post columnists thought: It's Early, But Soon It May Be Late, New Year, Same Results So Far , Waiting for a Huge Impact ,Under Center and Under the Gun. Here are the cliff's notes: Campbell and the Redskins had better win, and do so soon. As in, Sunday against the doormat Rams.

CHASM would humbly add this as well: Campbell simply cannot have another "garbage time touchdown/interception/two fumble" day. He cannot get happy feet in the pocket before getting sacked. He cannot stare down Chris Cooley before he throws his way. He must manage the game, not be managed by it.

Jason Campbell must manage this game to success. The future of CHASM, and perhaps his future as a Redskin, depend upon it.

Gulp.

The End, Sadly, is Here

2006-11-14T11:58:00.000-05:00

Washington 3, Philadelphia 27

The fat lady hasn't just sung. By now she's left the studio, dating Kevin Federline, and waiting for royalties from the Diddy remix.

The 2006 Redskins season ended, unofficially, in the third quarter of Sunday's loss to the Eagles when Sheldon Brown returned an interception 70 yards to give Philadelphia a 27-3 lead. One might argue that mathematically, this team could run the proverbial table and slip into a wild card slot. But you, me, and anyone who watched Washington yesterday would agree that this team ain't goin' anywhere. The offense can't score. The defense gets beaten regularly for big plays. The special teams, God bless 'em, shine on coverage and returns. But kicker-of-the-week Novak is, what, 3 for 7 this season? Meanwhile, everyone from the wideouts to the defensive backs to the punter make stupid, momentum-killing penalties. Mix in a challenging division and, well, there's the recipe for a 3-6 record.

I'm not sure which was more sad to see: a battle-weary Mark Brunell getting heated and defensive while answering postgame questions from the Comcast SportsNet team (the essence of which was "do you think it's time to bench yourself?"), or hearing defensive coordinator Gregg Williams inappopritely praise his defense after they did little to improve their 30th-place NFL ranking.
I would submit that this season was bound for a fiery demise, like one of those cartoon trains barrelling toward a broken-track precipice, since the end of last season. It was then, not long after coming a few plays short of the NFC Championship, that this organization (owner Daniel Snyder incorrectly gets all of the blame) made some critical decisions. I can't point to which one was the most deadly, but taken in concert they twisted their mustache, blew out the overpass and sabotaged the locomotive's brakes.

It became apparent as the 2005 season drew to its exciting close that Mark Brunell didn't have much left in the tank. His throws weren't nearly as crisp and accurate as they'd been months earlier. No longer did he seem able to launch a strike 60-yards to an in-stride receiver, as he did in September to help beat the Cowchips. Pass rushes confounded him, and his legs failed to protect him from defensive end rushes. Whether by injury, fatigue, or just plain age, he leaned more heavily on the crutch of dump offs to his backs and tight ends. Yet Coach Gibbs stuck with his hand-picked quarterback. Brunell's 2006 season has been little more than an exaggeration of his depreciation. Sure, his passer rating is in the top ten and he's thrown but four interceptions, but the bottom line--points on the board--don't lie. He isn't getting it done. As nice a guy as he certainly seems to be, it is time to pat him on the back and wish him well.

Ask (or complain enough) and you shall receive: Campbell starts on Sunday!

Let's not put the Redskins' woes completely on Brunell because, frankly, Gregg Williams' stock has dropped in direct proportion to his defense's ranking. Only two teams have worse rankings than Washington. To put in perspective, the Houston Texans, Detroit Lions, and San Francisco 49ers (!) have better overall defenses. By at least two ranking places. Sheesh. Somehow we were fooled, following last season, that Williams possessed the same magic plentifully found in New England, where the scheme is so great that random players can be inserted and removed while the squad maintains a high performance level. This season, we let Ryan Clark walk, replaced by the financially bloated contract of Adam Archuleta, and then relieve him with 50-year old Troy Vincent. And yet the Eagles could still throw deep. Sigh.

So at this point, with only mathmatics telling the Redskins they won't be watching the playoffs from home, isn't it time to see what first round pick, linebacker Rocky McIntosh, can do? Hey, with Clinton Portis out with a broken hand (and, dare we say, only so-so when healthy), can we reveal the value of trading a third round pick to Atlanta for T.J. Duckett? How 'bout we parse down that Al Saunders playbook from 700 to, say, 70 pages and see what happens?

What do we have to lose?

The Bad, The Worse, and the Ugly

2006-10-23T14:45:00.000-04:00

Washington 22, Indianapolis 36

When the Redskins stepped onto the manicured turf of the RCA Dome, they had already admitted that this was a game they must win. That was an understatement: the Redskins needed to win this game to not only improve their record and counteract an apparent slide, but to restore some confidence in themselves and, most importantly, gain some semblance of league-wide respect. Surely, beating the only undefeated AFC team in their home--heck, just putting up a good fight--could serve as a catalyst for a possible climb out of the depths of mediocrity. But Washington didn't just come up short.

They were terrible. Cover-your-eyes awful.

Oddly enough, my Pops wasn't fazed by the Redskins' play. "This isn't such a bad game to watch," he remarked midway through the third quarter as the Colts continued their offensive clinic, "because I had no expectations for Washington." He smiled and continued munching his popcorn.

Well, I had some expectations, but they were dashed so carelessly that I could only hold my head in my hands. From the foreboding beginning to the black comedy of the Redskins' touchdown in the final seconds, there was plenty to put Redskins fans in anguish:

THE BAD
* Before you could even say "blowout," Indianapolis drove 92 yards for a touchdown, needing to convert only one third down. Peyton Manning was 5 for 6, the Skins were down 7, and it looked like the only way Washington wouldn't lose by 40 points was if Manning's arm gets tired.

* While the FOX broadcast team applauded the Skins defense for holding the Colts to 13 first half points, the truth was that they gave up nearly 200 passing yards and the only reason Washington wasn't losing at halftime was because Marvin Harrison forgot to put his first foot down on his booth-reversed touchdown catch.

* You want bad? The Colts' opening drive of the 3rd quarter was 55 yards, four plays, two minutes, and zero resistance from the defense. Surgical.

* The numbers don't lie: Clinton Portis rushed ten times for a paltry 52 yards against the worst rushing defense in the NFL. Ugh. But that wasn't nearly as nauseating as...

THE WORSE
* What in the name of Mike Martz was Washington doing, gameplanning short passes on third downs? Analyst and Cowchip Ring o' Famer Troy Aikman was right on when he was befuddled by short routes on long-distance downs. Remember when Santana Moss was Mr. Third Down and the Skins led the league in converted percentages? That seems like a long, long time ago.

* Maybe part of the reason for Brunell's dump-offs was because his offensive line played pitifully. Chris Samuels and Jon Jansen did their best Jonathan Ogden impressions, allowing the Colts' defensive ends to blow past them on a regular basis, either to pressure the pass or destroy the run. When one of your best running plays is made by a wide receiver, your offensive line has underperformed.

* So much for a healthy Shawn Springs' return to help the defense. His presence didn't seem to make much of a difference, as Reggie Wayne and Marvin Harrison each had stellar days. Springs was notably owned by Harrison on a third quarter, in which Marvin ran right past him for a 38 yard reception. Speaking of galloping ghosts, Wayne is now carrying the jock strap of Kenny Wright after torching him for a 51 yard touchdown in which he, um, ran right past him. But the worst display of defensive work was courtesy Mike Rumph, who faced Harrison on the one yard line. Harrison faked inside-outside-inside. Rumph stopped defending on "outside" and was left tripping over his broken ankles as Harrison caught an easy score. Where's Darrell Green when we need him? I doubt he'd consider returning, after seeing...

THE UGLY
* Was there an uglier series of plays for Washington than when they pressed down to the Colts' 11 yard line, preparing to take the lead? In less than a minute, the Skins gave up a sack, then had a Moss headbutt penalty for 15 yards tacked on, and Nick Novak clangs the resulting 49 yard field goal attempt. Can the Redskins ever get a clutch kicker (and is it too much to pray we can have one who can nail a 62 yarder outdoors with the game on the line)? Where's Mark Moseley when we need him?

* Alas, there was an uglier series of events for the burgundy and gold. Without a single second of the play clock expiring, the Redskins reminded their opponent that yes, you can beat us. Right after we beat ourselves. Antwaan Randle-El gave the Skins their first (and only) lead via an exciting touchdown return but earned a questionable 15 yard unsportsmanlike conduct celebration penalty to be imposed on the kickoff. Sean Taylor commits an offisdes penalty on the kickoff attempt, backing up the play 5 more yards. Inexplicably, kicker Derrick Frost goes postal (what do kickers have to get that mad about?) and removes his helmet so that the referees can better hear him yelling about nothing. Tack on 15 more unportsmanlike conduct penalty yards and voila! You have the makings of a situation rarely seen. In fact, I've *never* seen a kickoff from the 5 yard line. Have you?

* The final view of the Redskins offense was perhaps the most pitiful, yet fitting of the day's performance. Down 33-14 with 4:36 remaining, the Redskins went no-huddle yet STILL took 4:23 minutes to go 70 yards. Why? Because they decided to throw short on every one of the nine passes Brunell attempted. Even the official NFL GameCenter called them "short." Moss and Portis sat on the sideline, dejected and injured, while Washington relied on Ladell Betts to move the football down the field and score a meaningless, fruitless touchdown. There was no celebrating, hardly a high five. And rightly so. The Redskins stank up the dome, and couldn't even earn a measure of respect in the process.

With the team listlessly sitting at 2-5, the inevitable question is whether to start Jason "The Future" Campbell against the remaining opponents. Right now, it's too painful to consider where to put the medicine with this team. But I will proffer that, in two weeks, if the Redskins lose at home to the Cowchips, we can officially end every glimmer of hope for this season and Campbell should get every remaining snap. Sigh.

Shades of 2000

2006-10-16T17:10:00.000-04:00

Tennesee 25, Washington 22

More than 24 hours after the loss, the questions don't just linger, then haunt:

If I'm a coach, and my team's playing Washington, how soon before gametime do you break out the "Boys, the odds are good that one of you is going to have a career day like Chris Brown, Tiki Barber and Jared Allen speech?

In Redskins forums, the issue raised is whether to blame the offense's Coach Gibbs or the man calling the plays, Al Saunders. I'll see that question and raise you another: is this offense better off without Saunders?

Sure, it hurts to lose to a team that ESPN Radio predicted two weeks ago might go 0-16. And yeah, the cut's a little deeper when you were favored by double digits. But is there a worse feeling than doing all of that at home, with your best cornerback returned to the lineup, against a rookie quarterback, while simultaneously allowing a guy to run for nearly 180 yards?

Seems like it was a long, long time ago when the D.C. press heralded the incoming of Adam Archuleta, Brandon Lloyd and Antwaan Randle-El, doesn't it? Isn't the letdown eerily similar to the Mark Carrier/Bruce Smith/Deion Sanders/Jeff George All-Viagra team of 2000?

****

When the Redskins stink, as they appear to do right now, it's tough to open the ol' email inbox. Inevitably, somebody's left some smack there for me to read. Sure enough, there was this question, posed by my Cowchip-loving colleague, Mr. Lim:

Re: redskins... tough loss.
Did you enjoy the eagles loss?

Cunningly posed question, as it both inquires about a mutual opponent and completely dismisses the Redskins as competitive. Nonetheless, I responded:

As much as I like watching the enemies in the East falter, it was hard to enjoy anybody losing when my team loses to a team that's LOST EVERY GAME THEY'VE PLAYED. Sure, the Titans played the Colts tough the other week--I believe they call that parity. But by all rational preseason predictions, the Skins should have beaten the Vikes, Texans and Titans, maybe beaten the Giants and Cowchips, lost to the Jags. That would put Washington at a respectable 4-2 or 3-3. But I'd give up the Jags win for Vikes/Titans wins any day, even if
they meant the inevitable "but they haven't beaten anybody yet" arguments.

At this point, I'll take any positivity for this team.

****
Meanwhile, things are quiet in Baltimore after a knife-twisting loss to the Panthers at home in which the second best defense as skewered for more than 300 passing yards. Hearing the game on radio, I drew the conclusion that Kyle Boller, king of the Hail Mary pass, had a pretty good game in Steve McNair's spot. But on further review of the three touchdowns he threw, only one wasn't tipped by a defenseman--and that one was thrown to Todd Heap who was double covered! How many Immaculate Receptions can one guy create?

Anyone Seen Last Week's Redskins?

2006-10-09T15:08:00.000-04:00

Washington 3, New York Giants 19
Oy vey, this was a tough game to watch, and not just because the hulking Washington offense that posted more than 70 points and a gabillion yards in two weeks reverted into a feeble, three-point weakling Bruce Banner. No, this game was also a snore because, from beginning to end, the Redskins never looked like they had a legitimate chance to win this game. As a fan, you kept waiting for some big play (maybe try throwing a long forward pass to Santana Moss?) to happen, and...and...

[still waiting]

Reasonable minds might differ, but my biggest concern is with the Redskins defense. My boy BigWes argued that when you can keep a team under 20 points, your D has done its job. True, but this defense isn't supposed to be this porous, this lenient, this, dare I say, breakable. The Giants won the time of possession battle by nine minutes, but it sure felt like 20: they converted 9 of 16 third downs while Washington managed a poor 27% of theirs.

Every game has singularly critical moments that define the eventual outcome. On Sunday, there was a series of drives that, once finished were unofficial permission for you to turn off the TV and do yard work.

The score is 6-3, Giants. With 4:28 left in the second quarter, New York began a drive at their own 2 yard line. After a false start penalty, the Giants were left with the entire field to cover for a score. Over the next 4:22, Eli Manning and company covered 85 yards, converted three third downs and kicked a field goal to send the game into halftime.

The Giants receive the second half kickoff and begin their drive at their own 31. Who-dat running back Brandon Jacobs converts two third-and-shorts. With the ball on the Redskins' 26, facing 3rd and 16, Manning completes a pass to Amani Toomer for 21 yards. Two plays later, Plaxico Burress catches a touchdown. 13-3, Giants.

The Skins get the ball and mount their best drive of the day (which isn't saying much: they never cracked the opposing red zone). On third and one on the New York 24, rather than pound the ball up the middle with Dolemite--I mean, Clinton--Portis, Washington elects to have Mark Brunell attempt a pass into traffic, intended for Chris Cooley. This is the same Chris Cooley, mind you, who was the intended receiver on four out of five of the passes on this drive. The ball drops incomplete, and I begin yelling at the screen "Man up! Do not settle for a long field goal! Run the friggin' ball for ONE YARD! It's just ONE YARD!"

John Hall lines up for a 42-yard field goal. Shanked. I'm now holding my head in my hands and considering spending time with my in-laws.

Speaking of things that give a fan bubbling gas...

Unlike the Skins/Giants, Sunday's battle against the Philly Eagles (hard to call them the Egos when you-know-who's not on the sidelines) was one for the NFC East Classic video vault. Despite the look of the final score, Donovan McNabb's statistics, and Terrell Owens' lack of production, Dallas has every reason to feel confident that they could have won this game.

...Except that their quarterback is Drew Bledsoe. You know how its said that a single player can't make a team...but he can sure sink one? Drew is exhibit A. If I root for the Dallas Cowchips, the only reason I'm not calling for his immediate benching is because Tony Romo would then have to play quarterback. Oh, he was horrific. If it wasn't his statuesque posing in the pocket that led to seven sacks, it was him ignoring Owens for the first half, or one-hopping passes to other receivers. And then there were the interceptions. It's no secret that you can win if you pressure Bledsoe; how Dallas didn't compensate (they ran the ball well enough) by rolling him out is beyond me. If this game qualifies for NFL Replay honors, keep an eye out for Terry Glenn and T.O., independently shown, sighing and looking like they want to strangle Drew.

Yet, despite the play of the Dallas quarterback, the Eagles couldn't put this game away. Sure, they had some big throws to L.J. Smith and some guy named Baskett, but those were on blown coverages. The Philly run game was average, their passing attack was spotty. If I'm a Philly phan, I'm not feeling all that confident in my team. Even if they only have one loss.

Then again, as a Redskins fan, I have no idea which coaching staff and team will trot onto the field, week to week.

He's Gone! Moss is Gone! (24th Viewing)

2006-10-06T11:02:00.000-04:00

Gentle readers, in light of my inability to watch much of the Skins/Jaguars original broadcast, allow me to present to you the analysis of a gentlemen I call Herbs. He's one of those fanatic, dress-like-an-idiot-on-gameday diehards who outfit their unwitting infant sons in burgundy and gold. When the Redskins lose, he is unapproachable by family. Herbs has been known to get into juvenile, finger-pointing shouting matches with drunk Dallas fans.

He is my brother, and I couldn't be more proud. In an email to me this week, he offered these thoughts on Sunday's win:

The ‘skins are now #3 in total offense for the NFL. They are #4 in time of possession in the NFL. Now if that ain’t a sign of good things to come…

Total offense shows that Al Saunder’s offense is starting to click, especially when you consider how lackluster the first two games were, and how that probably dragged their stats down. I have the OT period on TIVO, and have watched it no less than 5 times this week, and seeing Santana catch that pass, and hearing the crowd ramp up to a deafening roar as he started sprinting down the sidelines, still gives me goosebumps. In all likelihood, our offensive prayers have been answered. Now, if Gregg Williams can get the defense, currently middle-o-the-pack 15th, motivated (and still have a shot of taking over as the ‘skins head coach when Gibbs does Retirement #2), we will look a lot like the Bears do now. And be a Super Bowl contender by December. You heard it here first – as long as Portis is healthy, Brunell is healthy, and we have a minimum of two of our receivers excelling (between Moss, Randle El, Lloyd, and Cooley – we’ve got a glut, I think David Patten is the new coordinator of the Redskin cheerleaders), I can’t see why we can’t contend for the big game.

I will admit that, since Monday, I've seen Moss' touchdown no less than 10 times. I finally caught the overtime on the ten minute NFL On Demand recap, and got to enjoy Larry Michaels screaming "He's gone! He's gone! He's gone!" until I had my fill.

By the way, has anyone determined why Sam Huff is still on the broadcast team? I respect that the's a Redskin legend, but he exclaimed that #47 Chris Cooley was hurt trying to make a tackle on defense (it was really #41 Curry Burns); and then he almost ruined the moment of Moss' winning score by saying "that's his second one!" when everyone who watched the last three hours of football knew it was his third. His wisdom on a long Jaguars touchdown pass was summed up with "you live by the blitz, you die by the blitz." Thanks for the insight, Sam. Does he have blackmail pictures of Dan Snyder shining Jerry Jones' shoes or something?

I recorded the NFL Network Replay of the game and was pretty impressed: it's the entire game, minus timeouts and worthless plays, straight from the network broadcast. Plus you get insightful, postgame conference nuggets from the players and coaches after big plays. I immediately fast forwarded to the overtime period and watched Santana's catch and run three or four times there, basking in the hysteria of the crowd as they realized that Moss had broken free of the double team and was headed for glory.

And then, when it was rebroadcast in the middle of Thursday afternoon, I watched it again. And again. It was just that great a moment. If ever there was a moment when the stadium police should have allowed fans to run onto the field, like a high school beating its homecoming rival, that was it. "Oh my! Down go the goalposts!" Dick Enberg would say...

That said, the Redskins have some issues which they had best address come Sunday in their NFC East battle with Sabado Gigante. Principally I'd be concerned about the defense. Herbs is right--the offense is clicking enough that they should be able to adjust their attack to whatever the Giants D allows. But nearly every team this season has been able to beat the defense to convert critical 3rd downs, and what's worse, do so with big plays. Defensive coach Gregg Williams seemed satisfied with Sunday's performance, excusing the long Jaguars gains with "we sometimes played too aggressively." I'll agree. Shawn Taylor was an absolute monster on the field, making his presence known with teeth-rattling hits to Jacksonville receivers. But he can also take horrible pursuit angles, as he did on Maurice Jones-Drew's long touchdown scamper. Meanwhile, cornerback Kenny Wright sometimes looks like the second coming of Ade Jimoh, getting burned on curl routes near the sidelines.

So if I'm gameplanning against Washington, I'd prepare for safety blitzes up the middle from Archuletta or Taylor with dump off screens to Barber. If I'm the Redskins, I would fake my blitzes early, then attempt delayed blitzes, then in the third quarter, return to the standard attack.
But this should be a great game, as most NFC East battles tend to be. The other East game should be good, too, but contains 87% more drama with the T.O./Philadelphia reunion. With the Giants, Eagles, Skins and Cowchips being so evenly matched, the only way to ascend to the crown is to win your divisional road games. Here's to hoping Washington can pull it off.

We Won...Right?

2006-10-02T16:54:00.000-04:00

Well, for the second week in a row, I have managed to completely miss the substantive portion of a triumphant Redskins win. Last week, when the Skins toasted the Texans, I was hustling around town with friends from out of town (how dare they not be football fans) and I forgot to set my Comcastic! DVR. Used to be that I'd record NFL Primetime and be satisfied. But Berman and Jackson have been banished to the netherworld of midnight NFL highlights, replaced with fifteen inferior highlight shows. So I missed just about all of the Texans' game.

On Sunday, with Washington pulling off a exciting, gutsy victory over the playoff-caliber Jacksonville Jaguars, I again found myself distant from football. Quality time with the Mrs. But this time, I was ready: I set my recorder to capture every minute of yesterday's action...little did I realize that the game went into OVERTIME and Santana Moss provided some post-7:00PM heroics.

I haven't reviewed the recording, but I pray that there weren't too many commercials, injury time outs and penalties. Maybe I got fortunate and can postumously enjoy every scintillating minue. The game was so good that the NFL Network has decided to feature it on Wednesday's broadcast of NFL Replay. I'm so happy that I can ignore those poorly-lip-synched commercials with Chad Johnson and Jeremy Shockey.

It's odd that I have been able to see more of the Ravens' play than the Redskins'. And I like what I see: a defense showing shades of 2000, clutch special teams play, and an offense that, frankly, doesn't screw up too much. It's crazy to say, but if Steve McNair isn't under center this season, 9 out of 10 doctors agree that the Ravens would be sitting at 1-3, possibly 0-for-everything. That's how much better this team is when Kyle Boller's riding pine.

Week after week, McNair runs an efficient, if mediocre, offense for three quarters, and then when the game hangs in the balance, he completes 80% of his passes and scrambles for crucial 3rd down conversions. On Sunday, against the Chargers' top-3 defense, he broke tackles, threw strikes, and found the winning points. All without a timeout. He ain't great, but he's gold when it counts, and he's this season's early favorite for Comeback Player of the Year.

More on the Skins--and the on-again/off-again greatness that is Mark Brunell coming as soon as I watch the broadcast.

Dead In Dallas

2006-09-18T12:05:00.000-04:00

Let the finger pointing begin.

As the conclusion Sunday night's Debacle in Dallas became clear, Al Michaels and John Madden began the inevitable "what's the problem here?" analysis of the 2006 Washington Redskins. Al asked whether the team's lethargic performance was due to conservative play calling, or a failure to pressure Drew "The Statue" Bledsoe, or just the lack of their feature running back. (Chris Collinsworth, one my personal favorite analysts, termed this absence "ClintonPortislessness." You gotta love Chris.) Sir John Madden pontificated that Washington inexplicably didn't get the ball to its playmakers--Santana Moss, Chris Cooley, and Antwaan Randle-El--until the game was practically over. The EA Sports pitchman took his criticism a step further, claiming that Washington had the wrong personnel on offense. Ouch. He quickly clarified that he wasn't talking about *everyone* on offense. Just the quarterback.

On this Monday morning, with the loss' wound still fresh, it's easy to jump on the BenchMark (c) bandwagon and throw Brunell under the wheels. But I won't. Completely. In fact, I'll agree with nearly everything yesterday's broadcasters offered. Except that silliness about the wrong personnel.

The truth is that last night's Redskins played uninspired, ineffective, embarassing football indicative of their current position at the bottom of the NFC East. As I saw it, the Redskins were outcoached and outplayed. In that order. Offensive coach Al Saunders' gameplan, apparently, was to rely on the running backs to get the majority of the touches. Moss, Cooley, Randle-El, and wideout Brandon Lloyd each had *one catch* through the first three quarters. There were less than 100 yards of forward passing by that same point. By contrast, Peyton Manning threw for 100 yards while eating breakfast Sunday morning. By Theismann's perm, that's inexcusable. And when receivers were open, Brunell wasn't accurate; his only deep throw (garbage time excepted) was a Kyle Boller Hail Mary Special, easily intercepted by Roy Williams in the red zone.

Sure, the team misses Portis. But is this offense that uncreative without him? The Skins have one trick play in the 700-page playbook, and we saw it twice: the end around/fake end around. Total yards gained: none. Where were the screen passes to Moss to beat the constant blitzing? How about a Randle-El option pass? Did Saunders really think that the Dallas defense would bite on a draw play when Washington hadn't completed a pass for 20 yards to a wide receiver?

But hey, maybe the offense's plan was to rely on the defense. Good idea, except that defensive coach Gregg Williams' plan was to (1) give Bledsoe until four Mississippi to pass, (2) not worry about any offenive player not named "Terrell" and (3) play with reckless, penalty-producing abandon. That's the best I've come up with, because the Cowchips looked virtually unstoppable for much of the game. The fans knew it, too: they lustily booed when yet another first half drive ended with an open receiver dropping a pass. To their credit, the Redskins tackled well and were aggressive. But that was *after* the third down completion.

Two weeks into the season, Brunell's not looking like a 16-game starter. Moss isn't being given the opportunity to shine. The defensive line doesn't dictate. The secondary is vulnerable in its ShawnSpringslessness. But it's not time to panic. For now, some caution and concern are in order.
You push the Panic Button when you lose to the Houston Texans.