Week Ten Part 2: National Embrarrassment. No Joke.

Being a Washington Redskins fan is a torture unlike any other in the National Football League. To root for the burgundy and gold, in the last decade or more, is to wish upon a dream that has long since passed. It is to visit weekly with a childhood friend with whom you now have little in common, except the wonderful memories of sunny days, smiles, and simpler times.

For the fortunate fans who witnessed the Redskins of the 1980s and early 1990s, they saw a franchise that grew from its inconsistent but exciting 1970s into a continual contender. All the Super Bowls, NFC Championships, and playoff appearances produced a pride based in the trust that Jack Kent Cooke, Joe Gibbs, Bobby Beathard, and the front office knew what they were doing. Players like Darrell Green, John Riggins, Russ Grimm, and Doug Williams may not have been the most talented to play the game, but fans could trust that they gave their all on Sunday. And they found ways to give a little more against a division foe. That franchise of those Glory Days earned and kept the respect of the league.

In the last eleven seasons, this franchise has descended below mediocrity, below embarrassment, way down into the once-unimaginable depths of national joke. The mocking barbs once leveled at the Cincinnati Bengals and Detroit Lions now aim toward Washington. It seems that nearly every national sports publication snickers at the Redskins.

And why shouldn't they? Daniel Snyder's ownership has produced seven coaches and two playoff wins. None of those coaches ended their tenure with better than a .500 winning percentage. The team has spent millions on the retreading of veterans like Jason Taylor, Deion Sanders, Bruce Smith, and, yes, Donovan McNabb. Young talent like Ryan Clark, Brandon Lloyd, and, yes, Jason Campbell were cut by the Redskins and miraculously play better elsewhere. Offseason after offseason the franchise brings in new saviors who either aren't given enough opportunity to shine or never shine at all: Steve Spurrier, Marty Schottenheimer, and, yes, Mike Shanahan. For every Sean Taylor or Brian Orakpo, there are draft choices traded away into nothingness.

Monday night's disaster was further notice that Redskins fans have been duped. While fleecing fans for more money, they have been spoon fed Glory Day nostalgia to believe the next high-priced defensive end is Dexter Manley. Or that Joey Galloway is really Downtown Charlie Brown. The marketing machine creates new anniversary jerseys, runs jumbotron montages, and produces DVDs of days long, long gone.

Then the franchise puts a team on the field that is a mere shadow of those men of respect and ability. And has the nerve to remind the bewildered to vote their favorite player for the Pro Bowl. Maybe fans will get to that when they finish considering where this loss falls in the pantheon of embarrassing Redskins losses. That is, if they can drown out the national chorus of laughter, the charges of aimlessness, and the second-guessing of leadership.

Ah, but the joke is on you too, Daniel Snyder and Washington Redskins. ESPN, ABC and the NFL Network don't continually schedule your team for nationally-televised games because they might win or potentially play well. You're there because your franchise is considered a bumbling circus sideshow whose inevitable failure makes for good ratings and easy, mean-spirited ridicule. Emperor Snyder has no clothes, and the media is laughing all the way to the bank.

As always with this team, there remains a glimmer of hope. Perhaps Mike Shanahan is just rusty in his ability to give plausible reasoning at press conferences. And maybe Bruce Allen really has a plan to build the team with quality young players, not just old ones. It might be that Daniel Snyder isn't sticking his nose in player issues and announcing contracts for maximum media buzz.

At this point, it's doubtful.

Week Ten: Shanahilarious

Philadelphia 59, Washington 28

This loss, before a national audience, wasn't bad: it was historically bad. It was the worst first quarter by a defense in NFL history. Philadelphia Eagle Michael Vick had a performance unseen in the history of the NFL (300+ passing yards, 50 + rushing yards, 4+ passing touchdowns, 2+ rushing touchdowns). The Redskins gave up the most points in a half in their history and allowed the most first quarter points by a visiting team in NFL history. The Eagles celebrated the most points in a half in franchise history.

Even the stats that aren't records indicate a total, Republicans-over-Democrats shellacking: just over fifteen minutes into the game, Philadelphia had five touchdowns (more than Washington would score all night) while the Redskins had run just twelve plays for 23 yards. Vick was his own Human Highlight Reel, finishing the first half with a perfect quarterback rating.

But really, in the end, what matters are two things: how it happened and who is responsible. Fortunately, both questions can be answered with three words: Shanahan's staff failed.

The Redskins coaches, blessed with two weeks to prepare, strategize, and practice, put a team on the field that looked like it had just finished playing Detroit an hour before the Philly game. They were ill-prepared, unresponsive, and unmotivated.

If Mike Shanahan can't prepare his team in two weeks to play a division rival, at home, on Monday Night Football, then why is he being paid $35 million? How is he any better than quarterback coach-turned-head coach Jim Zorn, who was cheaper and didn't hire his son to run the offense? Spare us ESPN commentator John Gruden's effusing over Shanahan and his Super Bowls ("[He's] a great coach. He managed the bye well..[but it's] his team that has not played..."). The proof is in the pudding, and on the biggest stage the Redskins will see this season, he and his shiny Denver Super Bowl trophies comically failed.

Kyle Shanahan's offense were a phantom success. When the game mattered--the first quarter--the play selections were stale flatulence. How bad did it stink? Here's the first quarter: Vick throws an 88-yard touchdown bomb, Washington calls three run plays. Punt. Vick's offense runs five more plays, all different: touchdown. Washington has a 1-yard screen pass, a rushed 7-yard completion, then an interception as McNabb runs for his life. Vick and offense show variety and the series ends with a shovel pass, touchdown.

Young Shanahan's offense, down 21-0 and on the edge of being blown out, walks on the field and attempts two rushing plays and one pass, which was overthrown. Punt. Total output after three series: 21 yards.

Folks, the game was over right then. Moments later, the icing was on the cake when Philly no-name running back Jerome Harrison galloped 50 yards through a half-hearted defense for a touchdown. Shanahan's eventual offensive response--deep passes--came too late to sufficiently impact the deficit.

As for defensive coordinator Jim Haslett, he was completely outcoached by Andy Reid. Sometimes it looked like Riverdale Baptist high school had invited Boise State to a scrimmage. The defense was on its heels for nearly all of the first half: they didn't stop Philly from scoring at will until 35 points later. But until then, Reid's playbook was completely unstoppable. Reverses worked. Shovel passes worked. Draw plays worked. Deep passes worked. Screen passes worked. Runs up the middle worked.

Haslett has answering to do when his players allow over 1000 yards and over 90 points in two weeks.

The worst moment, in a night filled with horrific moments, came after halftime. ESPN's Suzy Kolber reported that she spoke with both coaches during the half. Andy Reid, when asked what his strategy would be while leading 45-14. "Score more points," was his reply. When Kolber asked Shanahan about his team, he was at a loss in explaining the record-setting first period.

"Do you have any ideas?" was his reply.

Ha ha, coach of a national laughingstock. Hilarious.

SCORECARD
OFFENSE: D-. McNabb's strong arm and elusiveness are the saving grace from F-ville. (Sorry Keiland Williams, score your touchdowns outside of garbage time, thanks.) The bigger question is whether those traits are worth a new five year contract...
DEFENSE: F-. This play encapsulates the defense's night: Vick has seven seconds to pass due to no rush, Haynesworth doesn't care enough to get up and pursue, and the nine guys playing the pass let a receiver open for a touchdown. Egad.
Sp. TEAMS: C. Lorenzo Alexander was a lone bright spot, crushing a kick returner as he did last time the teams met. Brandon Banks looked like 75% of his pre-surgery self. He really needs that other 25, apparently.
COACHING: F. Give Shanahan a modicum of credit for beginning his press conference with the understatement of the season: "I didn't get the players ready."
OWNERSHIP: F. Daniel Snyder's years of mismanagement earned him the privilege of watching his team play the fourth quarter in front of Eagles fans.

THIS WEEK'S FINAL WORD
...goes to my brother, who drove four hours from Virginia to attend the game, only to be so disgusted that he left early and drove another four hours back home. "I asked a guy next to me in the second quarter [as fans began streaming out], 'if the Skins score and no one is in the stadium, does it count?' "


Photos courtesy WashingtonPost.com and NFL.com.

Week Eight: Gross(man) Misconduct

Washington 25, Detroit 37

Since taking over a 4-12 franchise, coach Mike Shanahan has enjoyed virtual carte blanche in reshaping the 2010 Redskins. Whether it was in shaping the roster (adios, Rock Cartwright and Antwaan Randle- El), rubber stamping the schemes (hello, 3-4 defense), or choosing his starters, Shanahan's powers have been unlimited and immune to the criticism that his predecessor routinely faced.

But on Sunday, Shanahan pulled a move so bizarre, so unprecedented, that it defied all conventional strains of football logic. Even more, it guaranteed a loss to the one-win Detroit Lions, dropping Washington to a modest 4-4 record. In legal terms, it wasn't just wrong to do--misconduct--but it rose to the level of gross misconduct: so outrageous that it shocked the conscience.

Here's the scene: with just under two minutes left, the Redskins had the ball at their own 25 with plenty of timeouts. On the previous two drives, Donovan McNabb and the offense turned the ball over and failed to convert a fourth down. Nonetheless the Redskins were down just six points. Shanahan sends in Rex Grossman, not DJ McNabb, to orchestrate a winning drive. On the first play, Grossman is blindsided and coughs up a fumble that is easily returned for a touchdown. The game is essentially over.

Naturally, the first question asked of Coach Shanahan in the post game conference was why he benched a healthy McNabb. Shanahan's explanation was straight from the Andy Reid Short Answer 101 course: he thought that Rex knew the two minute offense better, that Rex gave them the best chance to win, and that his gut told him to do so. That was it.

Gastroenterology aside, this explanation is pure nonsense. Rex Grossman may have more experience in offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan's offense due to his work with the Texans, but he has zero regular season snaps and didn't outplay new-to-the-scheme McNabb in training camp to even be considered the starter. Grossman's knowledge doesn't trump in-game experience; he hadn't seen the Detroit defense coming at him, except when a play happened to go out of bounds where he was standing with a clipboard and orange Gatorade. Yet he was called upon to walk in, cold, with 1:45 left and win a game.

Has there ever been a time when a coach replaced a healthy starter this way? This isn't baseball, where a hot closing pitcher can be called up in the bottom of the 8th. Even if it did exist in the NFL, Grossman isn't such a specialist. If he were that good, he wouldn't have bounced from Chicago to Houston to Washington.

In short: if Grossman's the answer, you're probably asking the wrong question.

To be fair, it is true that McNabb's performance wasn't great against the Lions. He was out of sync with receivers on some occasions, he awkwardly tripped twice on snaps, and he did little to improve the Redskins' next-to-worst third down conversion percentage. Under his leadership the team is horrific in red zone scoring and touchdown efficiency. And one can deduce that the reason the Washington defense allows so many yards per game is because they tire from being forced on the field by the ineffective offense.

But let's be real: the blame for the Detroit loss falls on many shoulders, not just McNabb's. The offensive line couldn't protect for the pass, couldn't provide for the run. Snap after snap, Detroit was able to get pressure on McNabb, sometimes without blitzing. The FOX broadcast reported that of his 36 dropbacks, there were five sacks, eleven hits, and ten hurries. That leaves just ten passes where McNabb wasn't having to save his hide from Ndamukong Suh and company. Because the Redskins couldn't run, they faced an average third down of more than ten yards.

If Shanahan wants to truly evaluate McNabb's performance, how about he look at the two dropped two-point conversions by Fred Davis? If he wants to look for scapegoats, why not mention coach Jim Haslett, DeAngelo Hall and the secondary, who apparently decided to let Detroit's best receiver, Calvin Johnson, punk them all day? The "best chance to win" wouldn't have been necessary if Philip Daniels doesn't jump offsides on a field goal or Reed Doughty doesn't negate a kickoff return with a penalty.

Even worse, Shanahan's decision sends a powerfully negative message to his supposed franchise quarterback: I can singularly blame you for the failures of my offensive line, receivers, defensive backs, and assistant coaches. Sure, coach confidently said that McNabb is his starter after the bye week; but his action suggests that McNabb may be on thinner ice than even he realized. And that's just unconscionable.

SCORECARD
OFFENSE: C-. Something's very wrong when your longest, non-QB rush of the day is eight yards. And don't look now, but Chris Cooley is quietly having a mediocre season of dropped passes. The o-line should have been made to walk home from Detroit..
DEFENSE: C+. Orakpo and the defense didn't put much heat on a rusty Matt Stafford, which let Calvin Johnson have a career day. Yet they still gave the offense a chance to win.
Sp. TEAMS: B+ Brandon Banks is smelling like a rookie steal. Twenty more pounds on him and he might be able to break more tackles.
COACHING: C. The coaches had little answer for the front four of Detroit, didn't adjust coverage on Johnson, and sent in the backup to win the game. Sadly, they still did better than Zorn's crew from a year ago.

THIS WEEK'S MADDEN MOMENT
Talk about odd: in my Madden Redskins franchise, I cleaned house of much of the current roster after winning the Super Bowl. (I went 16-1, thank you very much.) I made sure to keep Brandon Banks on the roster for season two, and though he's only a 55-rated wide receiver he's a 95+ speed rating. And just this week I finally got him to score a kickoff touchdown. On Sunday, the real Banks was dominant and finally returned a kick for six. Well done, sir.

Week Seven: Cover Your Eyes

Washington 17, Chicago 14

It's funny how life tends to repeat itself. Six years ago, almost to the day, the Redskins played the Chicago Bears and I was unable to fully review the game due to various intrusions into my football watching. (Actually, it was shopping with family.) I worked around these annoyances by employing my then-ten-year-old sister in law to take notes on the game. With marginal results. Nonetheless, the Redskins won by three and a substantial Redskins Review was produced.

On Sunday, the Bears and Redskins met, and again this thing called "life" frustrated the reviewing process. (This time there was a confluence of a sore back, an unfulfilled promise to purchase a new pet, and Comcast's choice not to bother airing the game.) And once again I employed a ghost writer--this time a wee older--to take copious notes on the Redskins' performance. And wouldn't you know it: the Redskins won by three.

Here then, are my brother's notes on the Redskins' very, very sloppy win:

There was a period in time where I wondered who wanted the game less. Started with a pass from McNabb making the rookie mistake of throwing while being dragged down for a pick-6. He didn't look as good as he has earlier in the season.

Thank goodness for the second coming of John Riggins, aka Ryan Torain. He looked great for a lot of the game, when we chose to run. Orakpu is our star on defense, continuing to collapse the pocket, and it looked like the Mad Genius had learned nothing. That didn't last. Martz actually learned by the middle of the second quarter that the long ball was not to be, and went with 3 step drops and quick slant passes. The Redskin D had no answer to it. Thank goodness halftime came, as the defense continued to unravel.

Jay Cutler reverted back to a year ago in the second half. He was our 12th mam, throwing an INT after every miscue of ours. Hall's 4th pick (all 2nd half) was a pick-6 and the last score of the game, as athletic as the INT the Colts had at the end of our last game.

Torain earned his paycheck (as well as Clinton "wish-this-was-two-hand-touch" Portis' paycheck) by running hard and getting 1st downs at the end, where normally we would end up running into a wall 3 times and punting.

Our run game is slowly looking like a Shanahan team. Armstrong isn't quite a go-to receiver yet, with a crucial drop. Moss was blanketed, McNabb's true security outlet. Maybe that was why he didn't play well.

Top performers:
Torain - he should keep the starting job even when Portis is healthy.
Hall - gambled the whole game, and beat the house.

Coach of the game - whoever it is that's in charge of special teams. Never kicked to Hester, ALWAYS out of bounds. Net yardage looked bad (how DO those refs figure out where it really went out of bounds?), usually netting 20-ish yards, but the alternative........

I think Haynesworth has an allergy to leather oblong shapes - you'd see him on the field, but never near the ball.

Well said. A few notes of mine: I like the Ryan Torain/John Riggins reference. Last week I compared him to Stephen Davis, a downhill runner who could plow over defensive backs and had just enough agility to make a man miss. Riggins ran much like that, too, though I can't recall him ever juking a player. He did have that extra, magical gear in his youth that I hope Torain finds. His second 100-yard performance is a great sign.

Second, the Redskins were fortunate that Jay Cutler and his receivers were so awful. Credit DeAngelo Hall, whom I've called good, not great, for his record-matching day. But Chicago's receivers didn't finish routes, didn't come back for the ball, didn't, well, help their quarterback avoid looking horrific.

Third, DJ McNabb is the best quarterback the Redskins have had in recent memory. But he is, as my Pops said, "sporadically brilliant." That means that the rest of the time you're hoping he throws the ball higher than shoetops and doesn't launch deep passes into double coverage. That said, he's a rare quarterback who can avoid a blitzer for just the one second he needs to get off a pass. I'll take that over the Jason Campbell-Patrick Ramsey-Todd Collins statuesque passers who simply took hits from linebackers.

I'll forego the Scorecard this week, instead to pass this important note: this may be the only week when Redskins fans maybe, just maybe, might root for Dallas to win. They face the NFC East-leading Giants on Monday Night Football. A win for the Cowchips puts Washington in a tie for first place.

Photo credit: Johnathan Newton/Washington Post

Week Six: If You're Gonna Lose...

Indianapolis 27, Washington 24

Mike Shanahan and the coaching staff will meet sometime in the film room after Sunday night's loss to the Indianapolis Colts. The coaches will see the Washington defense allow 469 yards of offense, including 170 rushing. They'll watch their offense drop catches and fail to take advantage of multiple Colts turnovers. And they'll have to accept the embarrassment of a prime-time loss on national television.

When the video stops and the lights come up, if they have any sense, they'll crack a small smile and say, "Hmph, that was pretty good!"

The coaches will say that because they (and their observant fans) know that the 2010 Washington Redskins are of mere moderate talent. While the players have tremendous heart, hit hard, and are good enough to create some fortune, they don't yet belong in the same class as the NFL upper echelon. Indianapolis has lived in that realm for years now, and they proved it on Sunday. The Colts are deep at receiver, devastating at defensive end, and are lead by one of the best field generals ever to play the game.

But Shanahan has to smile because his flawed team showed something too: they can not only play with the best of the league, but take them to the wire. Every game has its positive take-aways, but the coaches can pump their fist about these from Sunday night:

(1) Ryan "Rough" Torain is the future running back for the Redskins. How fitting that Torain wear #46, which looks much like the #48 worn by storied back Stephen Davis. Like Davis, Torain is a large, solid downfield runner who simply can't be taken down by arm tackles. Torain showed patience for blocking, held onto the ball, and, unlike Clinton Portis, didn't need to be helped off the field after every third run. Torain, whose name wasn't on the lips of fans during the preseason, has emerged as a key component in the offense's balance. If he can work on his pass blocking, avoid fumbles and stay healthy, he can become yet another in Mike Shanahan's long list of prosperous runners. Even better, he can become everything this offense needs. His touchdowns from Sunday make the NFL films' highlights, but he had multiple plays where he broke away from tacklers to avoid a loss. The Redskins haven't had that powerful a back since, well, Stephen Davis.

(2) The defense, horrid though it may statistically seem, continues to put the Redskins in a position to win. The box scores don't tell the tale of the loss on Sunday. After all the yardage and points allowed, the fact remains that when London Fletcher and the defense needed to force second-half turnovers for Washington to have any chance of winning, they got two fumbles and a sack. When McNabb and the offense needed to get the ball back late in the fourth quarter, the defense forced Manning into a rare three-and-out. Slice it how you like, but defensive coordinator Jim Haslett's guys are like an old hymn: they may not come when you want them, but they'll be there right on time.

(3) The future is brighter than even the coaches might have thought. The Redskins of previous seasons (seriously, just pick one in recent memory) wouldn't have had much of a chance in keeping Sunday's game close. Tthose teams were, with some exceptions, stocked with high-profile veteran free agents who were either poorly coached, unmotivated, or both. The team that faced down the AFC Champion Colts wasn't expected by many to take out Dallas, Green Bay, and Philadelphia. And they nearly stole another win, even without Albert Haynesworth, Rocky McIntosh, and Portis. Might unsung players like Anthony Armstrong, Brandon Banks, and Torain be honored at Homecoming in 2025?

SCORECARD
OFFENSE: C. McNabb can't ask for a better circumstance than three timeouts, two minutes, 57 yards for the win, 30 yards for field goal range. To come up empty is a reminder that the offense still needs work.
DEFENSE: B. During halftime, I tapped a note to myself: "Can we have an error-free 2nd half? No drops? Grab every loose fumble? Can we keep Manning off the field?" Mission, largely, accomplished. Also, I will henceforth refuse to mention Carlos Rogers' name until he gets an interception.
Sp. TEAMS: B-. I love the tone that the Special Teams set, pounding runners and forcing turnovers. I can't remember a year when this squad has had this kind of literal impact.
COACHING: C+. If I were gameplanning against aggressive, sack-happy defensive ends, I would have called draw plays often. It's safer than a play action pass, which may roll into the aggression, and it forces the ends to think about whether to head upfield or hang back. Washington called, by my count, two. One on a throwaway 3rd and long.
OWNERSHIP: B. My Pops and I got to the stadium early, anticipating the Homecoming parade featuring Rick Walker, Darryl Grant, Mark Moseley, and other Redskins greats. I never saw the parade, but I did get ten Hooters wings for $10, the best value of any food at FedExField. Thanks, Danny.

THIS WEEK'S MADDEN MOMENT
This week's moment is a no-brainer, a catch that only happens when you have the Madden receiver skills turned up. In fact, it's superior to Randy Moss' effortless one-handed grab while a Patriot earlier this season. Indianapolis Colts receiver Pierre Garcon got open (as he was most of the night), and with a full extension catches the nose of the football in his right hand and completes the reception. It was like watching magnetism at work in a science museum.



Photos courtesy NFL.com, NBC, and, um, me.

Week Five: Grand Theft Gano

Green Bay 13, Washington 16 (OT)

At some point in the 2010 season, the Redskins will win a game as underdogs over a high-quality opponent. They will do so by coming from behind and, through sheer willpower, create their own lucky bounces. When that happens, it will be celebrated as a team rising to the occasion and demonstrating its inner strength and character.

For now, a win like the one on Sunday is pure thievery.

The Green Bay Packers had, for much of the game, the dominant defense and the more talented offense. The Redskins looked like their consistently inconsistent selves, unable to run, protect the passer, or slow down their opponent. After the first quarter, the Redskins had a tenth of the Packers' yardage, hadn't completed a third down, and was getting beaten by backup tight ends and wide receivers. They had no answer for the Packers' blitz. By halftime, Washington was down 13-3, but Donovan McNabb was running or his life from an unrelenting and undeterred Green Bay defense. McNabb's best completion of the half (in which he was again scrambling) was for 52 yards, nearly half of his thirty-minute total. It was a wonder that the game's outcome was still in question.

But in all of this, something odd was slowly occurring: the Redskins' much-maligned defense, one of the worst in the league, bent badly but refused to break. It stood its ground at the goal line, pressured the great Aaron Rodgers into poor throws and influenced receivers into dropped passes. The Washington offense, whose production seemed to be limited to three-and-outs and third-and-longs, found a way to sneak in critical completions of more than 20 yards. A rookie wide receiver, third on the depth chart, played like a veteran in the fourth quarter with game-saving catches.

And behind the clutch kicking of Graham Gano, the Redskins yanked an improbable, thrilling victory out from under a projected NFC champion.

Washington had a lot of help from Green Bay: there were stretches where even their veteran receivers couldn't hold onto easy catches; the coaching staff didn't choose to control the clock with the run, and kicker Mason Crosby missed two field goals, one to win the game.

In postgame interviews, the Packers had the dazed look of a man who has an alarm on his Porsche but still woke up to find it sitting on cement blocks. Green Bay just knew they should have won. “We just let an opportunity slip away,” receiver James Jones said. “There is no explanation for the way we lost this game. We lost it ourselves."

But might it be that the Redskins aren't great, but good enough to pickpocket a win from even the best?

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SCORECARD
OFFENSE: C+. DJ McNabb is an exciting quarterback. But he's also capable of "spotty brilliance," as my Pops puts it. With the empty running game, offensive production is squarely on his shoulders. He's got to complete more of the easy throws. Anthony Armstrong is a work in progress but he could be the one-on-one jump ball threat that Devin Thomas hadn't become.

DEFENSE: A. Another near-300 yard day by an opposing quarterback? 157 rushing yards allowed? And they get an "A?" Yep. LaRon "Hit Stick" Landry and Brian Orakpo held a strong offense to 13 points and got stops when they needed. A consistent offense would help the defense's rating tremendously.

Sp. TEAMS: B. Punter Hunter Smith and returner Brandon Banks can join Gano in taking a bow.

COACHING: B. The point was made in the radio postgame discussion that Mike Shanahan and the coaching staff are using essentially the same tools Jim Zorn had last season. (McNabb being the notable exception, of course.) But they're getting better results. I agree. In previous seasons, this game's a loss, with Washington allowing catches on tipped balls and giving up critical sacks. Or missing field goals. Or having pass interference penalties. Or dropping interceptions. Or...

OWNERSHIP: A. Wins like these further cement the brilliant idea by Daniel Snyder to let other people run the team while he signs the checks.

THIS WEEK'S MADDEN MOMENT
I'll suspend my Madden moment this week in favor of the pure hilarity of a postgame moment in the FOX Sports studio. You know who works there: Terry Bradshaw, Howie Long, Michael Strahan, Jimmy "Extenze" Johnson, and the guy in James Brown's seat. In their round-robin about the game, Terry, Howie, Michael and Jimmy all went on about Green Bay's loss due to injuries, penalties, third down conversions, and solar flares. No mention of the Redskins, you know, playing well enough to take advantage of all those mistakes.

When they finished lamenting Green Bay's loss, the guy in James Brown's spot said, in effect, "Guys, last week we said the Eagles lost because of no Michael Vick. This week we're saying that Green Bay lost to the Redskins because of no Clay Matthews. When are we going to start taking Washington seriously?"

What erupted was a cacophonous five seconds of blubbering, side-stepping, faint praise, and empty sports cliches from all four commentators. "Oh yeah, well coached...lot of heart...McNabb...stepping up...I've always thought...a Shanahan team always...great victory..." I haven't seen this much shufflin' since the '85 Bears.

Photo courtesy Getty Images

Week Four: Better to Be Lucky...

Washington 17, Philadelphia 12

Here's the awful truth about the Redskins' win over the Eagles: as well as they occasionally played, Washington was once again very, very beatable. Another game that could have been favorably finished by the early fourth quarter came down to one heart-stopping play. At 2-2, they are one holding penalty and one strangely dropped pass from being 0-for-everything. That's nothing new for the 2010 Shanahan Skins, whom my wife described thusly: "win or lose, you need Alka-Seltzer and Tums just to watch them."

On the other hand, here's the glorious, unexpected truth: the Redskins aren't 0-4. They sit atop the NFC East with wins against arguably their strongest division opponents. Factor in that one of those was against the stinkin' Cowchips and other was on the road and Redskins fans have to be happy with their team.

This is a team, however, that has yet to define itself in consistently positive terms. (The negative terms, sadly, are very consistent. More on that in a moment.) One week Donovan J. McNabb is unstoppably accurate, nearing 500 yards of offense. This week he's skipping passes off the turf and leading open receivers out of bounds on deep throws. For half this season, Clinton Portis and the running game is a laughable non-factor; this week he and Ryan "Rough" Torain are breaking off ten-yard runs like it's the Joe Gibbs era. One week the defense gives up just seven points, the next two weeks they give up 30 each.

This inconsistency means that no lead or great performance should be taken for granted while time remains on the game clock. At halftime, the narrative for the Redskins' first half performance was "The Redskins Reach Shanahan's Expectations." The first nine minutes of the game were a complete flip of the pitiful nine minutes in St. Louis: a 51-yard put return, a red zone touchdown, and a crushing ground game.

The second half was thirty minutes of offensive futility and defensive fatigue, it's narrative: "Let's Hope They Get Lucky." Just like the previous three games, Washington failed to run the ball well enough in the second half to tire their opponent. And don't bother asking them to score after halftime: they have just one touchdown and two field goals out of all four games.

Meanwhile, the defense has given up--get ready--five touchdowns and six field goals in the second half of those games. For those mathematically challenged, that's 13 points for the Redskins, 53 for them. Not to put too fine a point on this, but Washington has been outscored by 40 points after halftime. Fatigue has to be a factor, but let's not discount that the personnel in Jim Haslett's 3-4 looks as ill-fitting as Denise Huxtable's faux-Gordon Gartrell. (Ask Theo.) Former pass rushers Andre Carter and Lorenzo Alexander are now in pass coverage and have little chance of keeping up with slot receivers, much less snatching an interception. They look slow, plodding, and vulnerable.

So, yeah, it is better to be lucky than good sometimes. On Sunday, the Skins were fortunate that the dynamic Eagle Michael Vick went out with an injury, fortunate that backup/starter Kevin Kolb was rusty, fortunate that the referees saw more significant penalties by Philadelphia, and really fortunate that a last-second hail mary pass fell into DeAngelo Hall's arms.

The 2010 Redskins will take wins any way they come.

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SCORECARD
OFFENSE: C+. Clinton Portis seems to be getting hurt after every other rush; perhaps that's why his role in the offense seems unstable. Might his body be showing signs of decline?

DEFENSE: B-. What's scary is that when an opponent desperately needs to move the football, the Redskins' defense lets them. But holding Philly to no touchdowns until three minutes remained is admirable.

Sp. TEAMS: B-. Hallelujah, there were no missed kicks, no fumbled snaps, no unblocked rushers, and a sparkling return from 5' 7", 155-pound Brandon Banks. But the punting left much to be desired.

COACHING: C. As noted above, Shanahan and company were outcoached in the second half for the fourth straight game.

THIS WEEK'S MADDEN MOMENT
The last-second hail mary drop by Jason Avant manages to best even a Madden moment. In the video game, receivers have a tendency to make a catch and, as an immediate tackle graphic occurs, drop the ball to the turf. I've often watched the game replay, wide-eyed, saying to no one in particular, "He HAD the ball! How did he drop it?" Philadelphia said that very thing on every FOX slow-motion replay of Avant. I watched it and said "He got not one but TWO gloved hands completely on the ball. How does he not catch that?" Shocking, considering that, according to reports, Jason Avant doesn't drop anything! Maybe that's only during drills.

Redskins photo courtesy: Toni L. Sandys-Washington Post

Week Three: Different Team. Same Result?

Washington 16, St. Louis 30

Last week I explained that the 2010 Redskins were, through their first two games, creating four fears for the NFL and their own fans. At the conclusion of Sunday's loss to the St. Louis Rams, allow me to add one more, this one the most cringe-inducing:

Fear #5: The Redskins are the same #@$%@ team we booed off the field last season.

You remember them: Jim Zorn's boys lost to bad or rookie quarterbacks, allowed previously unknown backups to have their career best days, squandered opportunities through failures to perform the basic requirements of football, and, generally, made the worst teams look better than they really are.

(Boy those were tough years.)

Now, before we succumb to fear #5, let's remember that the 2010 team is just three games into a season. To suggest that the Shanahan Era Redskins are the same as the Zorn Era Redskins (and, one might argue, the modern-era Redskins) is a wee presumptuous. The current football product is an amalgamation of a new scheme, new coaching, and new leaders. Even the ownership seems to have turned a leaf. So at its essence, the present can't be the past.

But on Sunday, the circumstances were eerily familiar, the results uncomfortably predictable. They faced a Rams team that had one win in its last 28 games. The Rams had a rookie quarterback, no star wide receiver and got less than half a game's production from its star running back. Their best safety was out with an injury and even their fans didn't seem to want to show up for the contest.

Yet, in true Zorn fashion, Shanahan's Redskins still managed to lose. Badly. Before garbage time padding, Washington had virtually half the plays, half the time of possession, half the yardage, and half the points of St. Louis. New defensive coordinator Jim Haslett's mighty 3-4 defense, which had some success against two top-shelf quarterbacks, managed one measly sack of the rookie. New offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan's offense ran well in the first half, disappeared in the second half, and converted--get ready--one third down.

It gets worse: in the first nine minutes, the Redskins had a punt blocked, had lost a fumble, allowed a 42-yard rushing touchdown, had two false-start penalties, a crack-back penalty, and were down 14 to nothing. Egad.

The second half adjustments for Washington? How about zero sacks of Bradford, zero red zone touchdowns, sixteen unanswered Rams points, and nearly four yards a carry for backup Kenneth Darby, a chap who in three years had never rushed for a touchdown?

The hope, naive though it may be, is that this loss represents the Low Point Before the Ascent. That coach Shanahan looks back at the 2010 season and can say "I told everyone that it was a new day, and the Rams game was the last time we reminded anyone of the old days." That unlike the past, the Redskins won't find new, stomach-churning ways to lose to the lesser and narrowly fail to the better.

But with a team currently giving up huge yardage, barely able to run, and relying on field goals, it's hard to believe that this is the worst. History says to buckle up. It's gonna be bumpy ride.

SCORECARD
OFFENSE: D. 1/10 on 3rd down, 0/3 in the red zone. That's all you need to know.

DEFENSE: D. Now's a good time to ask DeAngelo "This is my defense" Hall how Mark Clayton and some guy named Danny Amendola managed to move the sticks on him. How bad did the Rams control the Redskins' defense? After kicking a field goal in the second quarter, the Redskins ran 32 plays, the Rams 73.

Sp. TEAMS: C. Graham Gano stepped in for an ailing Josh Bidwell, so positive points here. But the weekly foul-ups in blocking or ball handling are inexcusable.

COACHING: F. OK, so Portis averages more than five yards per carry in the first half but in the second half he's relegated to 3rd downs while backup Ryan Torain gets the rock? And where was Jim Haslett's adjustment to Bradford's series of short passes or Darby's consecutive rushes in the second half?

THIS WEEK'S MADDEN MOMENT
It's nice to see a Madden moment work in Washington's favor. After achieving a first and goal at the one yard line, the Redskins defense held St. Louis to a field goal attempt. At the snap, 310-pound Philip Daniels hurdles the offensive line and is practically standing straight up while blocking the kick. I've had all of one field goal blocked in my years of playing Madden, and it happened just like that. It was shocking in a video game, even more so in real life.


Photo courtesy John McDonnell-The Washington Post

Week Two: Be Very Afraid

Houston 30, Washington 27 (OT)

When your team allows twenty unanswered points and nearly 500 yards at home on the way to losing a practically won game in overtime, there are plenty of people to blame. Some even call it a repeat of last season's Zorn-rific choke to New Orleans. Contrarians are preferring to celebrate what appears to be an excitement that hasn't been seen in Washington in nearly ten years.

I prefer to view these 2010 Redskins as...scary. I've seen enough football and horror films to know when to trust my fear-fueled spider sense, which tells me that something ain't what I thought it would be. In lieu of What Worked and What Didn't Work, here's what, if I'm the rest of the NFL, just might make 'em shake in their shoes:

Fear #1: Donovan J. McNabb is still a top-ten NFL quarterback, and it was the steal of the offseason for Washington to have him. Every dollar of DJ McNabb's contract was verified by his outstanding performance on Sunday: 38 for 48, 426 yards, one touchdown, and zero turnovers. Throw in the absolute lack of run support--more on that fear in a moment--and you have one of the best Redskins quarterback performances in a decade. The Philadelphia Eagles may have found a stopgap to their QB troubles in Michael Vick, but I guarantee you they saw McNabb's performance and felt a twinge of fear and regret. How good is McNabb? Even ancient Joey Galloway is a deep threat. DJ is the Man of the Game.

Fear #2: The Redskins' 3-4 defense looks like it's been in Washington all along. There was concern in the offseason (and, frankly, in the preseason too) that coordinator Jim Haslett's adjustment to the traditional 4-3 would take time to gel. But Brian Orakpo, LaRon Landry, and London Fletcher lead an aggressive, pressuring attack that has the potential to harass even the best quarterbacks. The Texans' Matt Schaub hit the dirt five times--how long has it been since that happened for the Redskins?

That said, Sunday's loss exposed some facts that should keep coach Mike Shanahan sleepless throughout the season:

Fear #3: The Washington defense lacks a shutdown corner. DeAngelo Hall is good, not great. The rest of the secondary's quality drops quickly and dramatically from there when it comes to pass coverage. Fans were shocked (some gave sarcastic praise) when Carlos Rogers caught his first interception in recent memory. Safety Reed Doughty led the team with ten tackles, but that wasn't from blitzing; it was from Schaub's receivers getting open early and often. And for the second week, an opponent's primary target got open on a fourth and long when an incompletion would have iced the game.

Fear #4: The Redskins' running game is a thinly-veiled facade. I mentioned last week that the ground game is more diversion than attack. On Sunday, the two-headed Pop Warner running game produced 18 net yards on 17 rushes. That's one yard per run, a statistic that would make the Hogs of yesteryear spin in their pigpen. Part of McNabb's performance was from necessity--he had no help in milking the second-half clock or punching out four yards on third downs. It was bizarre that the Texans were fooled on any play action passes after the first quarter. The optimist in me thinks that the Redskins can make 8-8; but with this comical running game 7-9 would be impressive.

SCORECARD

OFFENSE: C+. It's just unfair to soil McNabb's outstanding performance with the running game. But that's football. The worst moment was Larry Johnson deciding to not lower his head and attack a defender but circle around and lose ten yards. His production: two rushes, minus-seven yards. Hang Your Head. Is Trung Canidate available and in shape?

DEFENSE: D. It's accepted that the Texans possess an emerging QB and a top-five receiver. But for the love of Chris Hanburger, can the defense not allow them to connect during the critical plays? Can this defense put their opponent in a sleeper hold and not allow them to stand up?

Sp. TEAMS: C. Graham Gano had his game-icing field goal deflected by an unblocked Texan, and then missed a second attempt at a 51-yarder to win in overtime. Otherwise, fantastic directional kickoffs by Gano helped pin Houston deep.

COACHING: C. For all the knowledge that offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan possessed of Houston's plays, the defense did little to stop them. Where was his father's kicker-icing timeout? Didn't he invent that annoying tactic? And for the record, one last time, let's say that Shanahan needs to either play Haynesworth or trade him. (If you really want to twist his nose, put Albert on special teams.)

OWNERSHIP: C. My club-level gameday experience was great: cool air conditioning, still-comfy leather chairs, and 50 of my new friends cheering the Dallas loss on the HD screens. Then there was the $34 for two shakes and two cheeseburgers at Johnny Rockets, and I shook my head.

THIS WEEK'S MADDEN MOMENT
If you've played Madden for any length of time, you know how the CPU will be able to ramp up its efficiency in the fourth quarter. You know it's happening when the running back suddenly turns into Gale Sayers and Barry Sanders' love child and bursts for a five-tackle-busting 80-yard touchdown. Or when, on a game-winning 4th and 10, the quarterback avoids the rush and lanches a long touchdown to a receiver who is unbelievable open for the score. That's what happened to Reed Doughty and Philip Buchanan, who provided little resistance to Andre Johnson on the tying score. The lesson: if you're in double-coverage on their best receiver, don't worry about whatever's happening at the line of scrimmage. Just stand near the guy you're covering!

Week One: Preparation + Opportunity = Win

Dallas 7, Washington 13

For Redskins fans, every game against Dallas begins with a nervous, angry excitement ("we're gonna kill 'em!...I hope..."), continues during the game with disbelieving pronouncements ("why aren't we #$#% RUNNING THE BALL?!?") and ends one of two ways: with a silent shaking of the head with hands covering the face, or with a long, smiling exhale. Is it written somewhere that Redskins/Cowboys games must be this excruciating to watch? That, regardless of the players or coaches, the contests must be as deodorant-bustingly dramatic as possible? Is "bustingly" even a word?

The headlines for this game have read like this one from the NFL.com's page: "Cowboys miscues costly in loss to 'Skins." And there was this link over at Sports Illustrated: "Game ending penalty helps 'Skins beat Cowboys."

I respectfully disagree. Mike Shanahan's team earned every bit of the W on their record. The Dallas mistakes weren't committed in some vacuum like they were on the Cowchip practice field; but instead they were created by a well-prepared defense who seized opportunities to apply pressure, steal a football, and alter their opponent's game plan. This win gets filed in the Rivalry Annals as less a miracle finish than the imposition of will by the Washington defense on a so-called Super Bowl-caliber offense.

Make no mistake: the 2010 Redskins have a lot that's not yet right, seems unsettled, and is cause for concern. Let's start instead with...

WHAT WORKED
With one exception, the Washington defense did exactly what it wanted to. The box score may show Tony Romo had no interceptions, Miles Austin had ten catches for nearly 150 yards, and the defense allowed 380 net yards. But the story is that Jim Haslett's defensive schemes limited Romo to one pass of 30 yards or more, never gave up a run longer than twelve yards, and silenced Romo's favorite target, tight end Jason Witten. Haslett dialed up varied blitzes, forcing checkdown passes that seemed to alter Dallas' first half downfield attacks. (I counted at least four screen passes that went nowhere.) LaRon Landry was everywhere, making 17 tackles. And let's not forget that Dallas managed a paltry seven points--the second lowest output of any team on Sunday, and by far the worst in the NFC East.

Though the offense was limited, it didn't commit a turnover. Anyone who has followed Washington lately knows that the team finished minus-11 in turnover ratio last season. No slip-ups by Portis, McNabb, or anyone else kept the defense from having to defend a short field.

The Player of the Game is, without question, linebacker Brian Orakpo. He had one solo tackle and one assisted tackle. But it was on the game's two pivotal plays that he asserted his dominance. Here's the first, the fumble by Tashard Choice. Kudos, of course, to DeAngelo Hall for his heads-up, ball-hawking focus on what's usually a throwaway play. But Orakpo is the player whose pressure and jump up in Romo's face is the impetus for the quarterback to break the pocket and scramble forward. (The Unsung Hero award goes to #97, linebacker Lorenzo Alexander, who pressured Romo's back side and stayed in the play to make contact on Choice when Hall was going for the strip.) His second outstanding effort was on the game's final play--watch Orakpo cause Dallas' Alex Barron to pull a Rowdy Roddy Piper clothesline, ending the game in Washington's favor. Orakpo nonetheless had so much speed and power that Romo still had to escape the pocket. Had Barron not held Orakpo, it could very well have been a sack that won this game. Imagine how FedEx Field would've shook then.

WHAT DIDN'T WORK
The ground game is more diversion than attack. It's time for a concerned pause when the quarterback is your leading rusher after thirty minutes of football. Offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan oddly trusted the offensive line to protect DJ McNabb more than to block for Portis. The team passed ten more times than it ran; that's not a lot of difference on paper. But Washington led the entire game, which would normally skew the play calling toward the run. In the preseason, I noted that Portis, Larry Johnson, and Willie Parker were largely ineffective, hoping that the regular season would show a better attack. Not so. It was a similar cutback run almost all night.

The red zone playcalling was atrocious. One corner pass, from the five yard line, to new receiver Anthony Armstrong is questionable. A second pass to Armstrong, on third down, when you can go up by three scores, is just disrespectful to your playmakers Chris Cooley and Santana Moss. How about a three-wide receiver draw to Portis? Or, maybe, a quarterback bootleg? Virtually anything was better than throwing to your least-experienced starting receiver twice in a row. Remember when the Redskins would line up from the eight yard line and pound the ball for three yards at a time? That was twenty-five years ago.

So Hang Your Head this week, Kyle Shanahan. Your offense may not have lost the game for Washington, but it certainly didn't win it.

One more note on preparation and opportunity: it is on the last play of a game when off-season conditioning is most important. Brian Orakpo came to training camp in shape, passed his tests, and practiced. Albert Haynesworth whined, showed up late, failed his tests, and earned himself a seat on the bench when the game was on the line. Enjoy your money.

SCORECARD
OFFENSE: D. The upside is that McNabb is still fleet of foot and has a strong arm. Also, Trent Williams did an adequate job defending Andre Ware. But the Skins won't win without better running.

DEFENSE: A+. Aside from allowing Miles Austin to catch a 31-yard catch on 4th and 15, it's hard to criticize Haslett's defense. Actually, Carlos Rogers dropping a game-winning interceptions comes to mind...

Sp. TEAMS: B+. Kicker Graham Gano went 2 for 2, including a hastily-called, crucial 49-yard field goal. Holder Josh Bidwell can practice hands drills with Rogers.

COACHING: B. The field goal from 49 yards was incredibly gutsy, the defense was outstanding, but the offense must score in the red zone.

OWNERSHIP: A. First "A" ever given to Daniel Snyder. The new screens looked fantastic, the new stomping area is a great idea, and opening the gates eight hours before kickoff was fan-friendly.

THIS WEEK'S MADDEN MOMENT
It's always strange when real football imitates video game football. You've probably had those moments when, playing a friend, you just call the Four Verticals play at the end of a half and hope for the best. Cowboys coach Wade Phillips' did just that, and even before the turnover it looked like an idiotic idea. Did the coaching staff think that Romo was going to complete a 60-odd yard Hail Mary? Did Choice think he could catch a lateral and outrun ten or so Redskins on the way to the end zone? The lesson: take a knee and preserve your integrity.

Photo credit: Jonathan Newton/The Washington Post

The 2010 Prediction (Let's Hope Madden 11 is Wrong)

I'm comfortable admitting that EA Sports' Madden video game series has some power over my pre-kickoff football opinions. To be perfectly honest, my enthusiasm for purchasing Madden is directly proportionate to my assumed improvement of the Redskins' statistical ranking. (So, as you might imagine, last summer I nearly passed on Madden 10, which had the Jim Zorn-led Redskins at a cellar-dwelling 70.) The game drops in early August, and at the time the NFL has yet to play even preseason contests. That virgin game on Madden, then, is the first indicator of how great your team just might be in September.

This year, I was particularly stoked about the potential for my team to be judged favorably by the faceless programmers at Electronic Arts. No recent version of Madden has featured such an overhauled Washington Redskins. Surely they'd be highly ranked--even if no one in their right mind can predict how they'll finish. (More on that in a moment.) So with some gusto I ripped open the packaging, slid the disc in my PS3 and eventually began my first game. I say eventually because I had to reset my system no less than three times while inputting redemption codes, downloading rosters, and getting hardware updates. Remember the days of popping in a cartridge and playing?

Anyway, first thing I noticed was that Washington was a mediocre 76. Even with the latest roster update (which oddly keeps Willie Parker around), the Skins are a good four points below anyone in the NFC East. At least they're rated significantly higher than the Chiefs and Rams, two teams they had trouble with under Jim Zorn.

For a fair game, I invited Miami (rated 78) to virtual FedEx Field on the All-Pro level. For the record, I'm good at Madden on the higher settings. My Redskins franchises have yet to lose more than three games in any season, and I regularly post undefeated championships. Once I'm comfortable with the playbook, make some depth chart substitutions, and feel out whatever play calling changes EA throws in, I'm dangerous even with my perennially marginal home team.

I mention this because my first half of Madden 11 football was...horrific. It was so bad that it slipped a measure of fear into what the Redskins' 2010 season might be like. I was in disbelief because everything that you knew could happen this year did happen.

The new 3-4 defense immediately gave up multiple plays of 50+ yards: a 60-yard touchdown to Brandon Marshall (in which CPU-controlled Laron Landry whiffed on a big hit) and on the next series, a 51-yard run by Ronnie Brown when Albert Haynesworth was blocked right out of his assigned gap. By the way, Albert's endurance lasted exactly two plays before his icon went red and he needed to be substituted. On offense, I took DJ McNabb (rated 89) on a blitz-avoiding scramble and saw Santana Moss streaking ahead of his defender. I gently pressed L1 to lob him a simple leading pass for the easy score. McNabb threw an awkward, wounded duck that was easily intercepted. When I went to my ultra-effective goal-line run offense (usable anywhere on the field!), Clinton Portis finally broke through to the second level of defense, with one man to beat for a satisfyingly long touchdown. He twisted in the tackle and promptly fumbled the ball three yards sideways. In the next series, McNabb limped off the field after completing his first pass, a 61-yard touchdown to the ancient Joey Galloway.

At halftime: Miami 24, Washington 7. The Redskins' defense was swiss cheese, the offense couldn't sustain a drive, and Rex Grossman (rated 65) was all I had left to mount a three-score comeback. Egad. The scenario was so nightmarishly plausible, so disarmingly realistic, that I stopped the game and had dinner. Really.

I don't believe I'm alone in hoping that 2010 looks nothing like that in the real world.
-------------------------------------------------------
So how will the Redskins fare in 2010? I've seen predictions from 4-12 to 10-6 with a wildcard birth. Choosing is an absurd practice. Remember last season when the ESPN experts picked the eventual champion Saints to finish 18th in the league? The Washington Post recently asked how the Redskins will finish and responders optimistically predicted a nine-win season. I can't resist being absurd too, so I'm predicting 8-8, with a 7-9 season a distinct possibility. Maybe I'm just shaken by that first half of Madden. Here's how I see it breaking down:

Redskins vs. Dallas Cowboys - Win
Big D is unprepared for the new, very un-Zorn game plan by Shanahan and is stunned on national television.

Redskins vs. Houston Texans- Loss
The Texans' Mario Williams manages multiple sacks and Trent Williams learns how fast the NFL really is.

Redskins at St. Louis Rams - Win
The perfect rebound opponent. Rams QB Sam Bradford shines, but his defense allows McNabb and the Skins offense to have a field day.

Redskins at Philadelphia Eagles - Loss
Andy Reid and the Eagles hooligan fans manage to rattle McNabb on his first visit back to Philadelphia. Did I mention that their fans are hooligans?

Redskins vs. Green Bay Packers - Loss
The defense begins to show signs of proper execution of the 3-4, but Aaron "Favre Who?" Rodgers proves to be too much for them to handle. Seems like a long time ago that he was the 24th pick in the draft.

Redskins vs. Indianapolis Colts - Loss
Just about everyone will lose to the Colts this year. Nonetheless, the "Shanahan sucks!" thread on ExtremeSkins.com reaches 10 pages.

Redskins at Chicago Bears - Win
This is the beginning of the happier days of the 2011 season. The 2-4 Skins upset Chicago with its first mistake-free game.

Redskins at Detroit Lions - Win
Last season's loss in Detroit was a figment of their imagination, and the whipping the receive from Washington helps erase the memory.

Redskins vs. Philadelphia Eagles - Win
Kevin Kolb and the Eagles, reeling from their loss the previous week to the Colts, are no match for the confident Redskins and their bandwagon-riding fans. At 5-4, hope for the playoffs seeps into the fanbase.

Redskins at Tennessee Titans - Loss
Despite Santana Moss' best day of the season, the Titans' Chris Johnson has the last laugh with a late touchdown. Every season there's one game that you wish you could have a Rewind button for two or three plays. This is that game.

Redskins vs. Minnesota Vikings - Loss
Brett Favre and Adrian Peterson remind Washington what the cream of the NFC looks like in a cover-your-eyes loss.

Redskins at New York Giants - Loss
Here's where the playoff dream is officially dashed. Washington keeps it competitive, however, in a strong showing.

Redskins vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Win
If Zorn, Campbell, Smoot, and the rest of the 2009 castoffs can beat them, surely the 2010 team can.

Redskins at Dallas Cowboys - Loss The Cowchips are making their annual playoff run, and take out their revenge for the week one loss. The offense continues to lack consistency. Jerry Jones' face reportedly cracks a smile.

Redskins at Jacksonville Jaguars - Win
With a .500 season in view, the Redskins thump the Jaguars. Fortunately, no one in Jacksonville sees the beating because of the blackout.

Redskins vs. New York Giants - ?
Here's where I think the Redskins face a gut-check. The playoffs aren't an option and they have nothing to play for but pride. Is this the same franchise that went 4-12 last year and collected a paycheck? Or does this team reflect Mike Shanahan and defend their home turf against the playoff-bound Giants? The answer will be the final statement about whether a New Era has truly come to Washington.

If I Ran the Jumbotron...

Ask any person who has been to FedEx Field what irks them about the gameday experience, and they might mention the ticket prices, the overpriced beer, or maybe the lack of intimacy that RFK enjoyed. I would suggest, however, that one response would trump them all: "what's up with the 1970's video screens?"

The screens weren't just outdated. They were incapable of displaying multiple images, delayed real-time video, and appeared to be made of 10,000 giant Lite Brite pegs. Three-fifths of the useful area was made up of advertising and another fifth was used for the current score/occasional spinning Redskins symbol. (In more giant Lite Brite pegs.) They were, even by 1990s standards, embarrassing.

For those unfamiliar with the utter wackness of the screens, I present the following, a picture I took at the NFL Kickoff in 1997. And yes, that's Britney Spears.

So I was particularly pleased to hear a few months ago that, just in time for the new NFL season, Daniel Snyder has upgraded the FedEx monitors to...modern standards. The new video screens look a little something like this (but with less attractive ads on the sides):



Wonderful. Now fans can actually see the screen from multiple angles, read down and distance information along the bottom, and enjoy football at the other end of the field. Just like Baltimore has been doing for years now. At least now the fans get called "sir" when they enter and leave.

Although we got to preview the screens during the preseason and Monday's Boise State/Virginia Tech thriller, the big debut is Sunday night when the Skins face Dallas on Sunday Night Football.

So I got to thinking: what would I show on the screens, to simultaneously launch this exciting new season, show off the vibrant screens, and humiliate the Cowchips?

There were many choices, but I hereby present my Top Ten Images to Show on Sunday Night:

1. Open with this picture of the Redskins faithful, watching a game that had nothing to do with Dallas. That's called staying on message. (Make sure to fire up the old "Hail to the Redskins" rendition that sounds like it was recorded by Jack Kent Cooke's old buddies.)

2. Russ Grimm's Hall of Fame introduction, particularly the lovely portion where Joe Bugel describes cramming "50 Gut" down the throat of Dallas' Randy White ten straight times.

3. Celebrated Dallas coach Jimmy "Mini" Johnson's Extense commercial. What next in his "I'm still in my physical prime after 65" tour, a stint on a ridiculous reality competition? Uh, nevermind. You really can't make this stuff up.

4. For a taste of a time when a rivalry meant something: this piece from the NFL Network's Top 10 show. It's, essentially, cliff's notes on former Redskins coach George Allen's obsessive hatred of everything Dallas. "Forty men together can't lose!" is his now-famous quote. Boys and girls, that's leadership.

5. Terrell Owens crying about "my team..my quarterback..." Tony Romo. I know he's not on team. But can you resist the pure hilarity of T.O. weeping about the press not being fair, in front of a wall of blue Cowchip stars, all over Tony Romo? I dare a stadium full of people not to watch and smile.

6. And why not: a 1200-inch diagonal picture of Chris Cooley mocking an unsuspecting Jason Witten at the Pro Bowl. Juvenile? Sure. Funny? Yep.

7. Landon Donovan's goal in the World Cup. Yes, it's not "football," as we Americans know it. But for inspiration's sake, I always get goosebumps when I hear Ian Clarke's enthusiastic "Goal, goal, USA! Oh, it's incredible!" It's more proof for the Redskins that with perseverance, anything's possible. It helps even more when your opponent is Algeria.

8. Tony Romo boldly announcing a Cowchip home Superbowl at a summer Dallas pep rally. (See the one minute mark if you'd prefer to skip as much viewing of Babe Laufenberg's beard as possible.) That'll fire up the Washington faithful. I'd let the video continue for a moment, if only to show Dallas' hotshot rookie Dez Bryant dancing...days before he sprained his ankle.

9. This montage of two modern-era Redskins miracle wins over Dallas. I'm particularly proud to say I attended the second game and saw Sean Taylor run back the field goal. ...And add a Wilhelm Scream to Roy Williams while you're at it.

10. And finally, in big, bold, high-definition letters: WE WANT DALLAS.

After that, it's time to play football. Now how can I get this list in Snyder's hands...hmm...

Football, Cars & Food: Redskins Rides 2010

Let's be honest: until the regular season begins, you have nothing else to do on your Sundays. Sure, you could mow the grass, spend time with loved ones, maybe even play "name that former team" watching the random guys of the Arena League. How droll. Why not instead enjoy great food, groovy music, and see some fantastic cars? And, oh yeah, meet some Washington Redskins?
If that sounds like you're idea of a great Sunday, check out the third annual Redskins Rides Car Show. This event features classic and exotic cars and ti’s also a great chance to see Redskins players bring out their rides! Competition categories include Classic, Custom, Import, Special Interest for all exhibitors and Top Redskins Ride for the players. Fans can get their Redskins gear autographed by the players while enjoying food and live music. A great community event for Redskins fans and car enthusiasts alike! Come together for this fun family event that benefits charity!

It's all at : 21300 Redskins Park Dr., Ashburn, VA 20147

Time: 12pm-7pm

Admission: $15 for Adults, $10 for kids, 3 and under are free. Tickets may be purchased at the door.

Plenty of information, including pics and videos, are all at www.redskinsrides.com.

The Great Taste of Preseasoning

Washington 42, Bills 17

I'm not usually one to put much effort in reviewing preseason games with depth or enthusiasm. These are the games that, frankly, serve as a teasing appetizer for the hearty, full-bodied supper called the NFL regular season. Most times teams approach these games as pure evaluation tools, hoping that their starters finish the four games unscathed and fresh for when the contests actually matter. But on some occasions, a preseason game means much, much, more than just limited playbooks executed by future UPS drivers.

Friday night's game signaled the true beginning of the New Era in Washington. Unlike previous Redskins reboots, the fans got to see a true shift in the philosophy, key players, and (gasp!) ownership. This was the triumphant beginning of Shanahan the Man: no feigned excitement about an unknown coach, no ridiculously high-priced free agent saviors, no bizarre team strategies. Fans saw new coach Mike Shanahan's footprint all over the Skins the moment he addressed the media as new head coach with owner Snydely--excuse me, Daniel Snyder--nowhere in sight. This is his team, and he and GM Bruce Allen took the off season months to detonate the 2009 squad, as I requested, and start all over again.

So all eyes were on FedEx Field as Shanahan the Man, Donovan McNabb, Trent Williams, and, more slowly, Albert Haynesworth, trotted onto the field for this first exhibition contest.

Let me be frank, after taking copious notes for the first half, I followed the rest of the contest via streaming box score updates. (I did run to my DVR and rewind the plays over twenty yards. C'mon, I miss football as much as anyone but it IS just a preseason game.) With the horrific display of offense in 2009, I smiled when these revelations calmed my cautious expectations for 2010:

1. DJ McNabb looked great, making quick reads and decisions while throwing on target and scrambling when necessary. Frankly, that's all we need him to do...and all we wished Jason Campbell could have done. (Speaking of him, you can get a JC jersey for just a dollar! Replace the patch with "D. Williams" and enjoy!)

2. The first team offense performed solid. The first series was odd, featuring a Santana Moss end around on the second play of the game. (Remember when Coach Gibbs would run the most vanilla playbook during the preseason and lose the games?) But Cooley then got open and again in the second series when McNabb orchestrated multiple play action fakes. Clinton Portis ran hard, covering the ball well while wideout Anthony Armstrong certainly upped his prospects to return in September with a goal-line touchdown reception. Oh, and left tackle Trent Williams appears to be The Truth, doing a great job of keeping McNabb virtually untouched.

3. Rex Grossman appears to be a qualified backup...but let's hope we don't need him. I am pleased that he was able to meet my low expectations of his performance. He zipped balls in to open receivers, but he also made some questionable decisions on placement. Had Buffalo's defenders been a step better, Sir Grossman could have tossed two pick-six interceptions.

NEXT UP
The one-quarter-of-pure-excitement continues next week when the Redskins face off against a Super Bowl contender in the Baltimore Ravens. Hopes are high in the land of crabcakes and Natty Boh with good reason: Anquan Boldin provides the best target that Joe Flacco's ever had and running back Ray Rice is this season's fantasy football keeper. For the first time in a long time, Baltimore might have a stronger offense than defense. A strong showing here, particularly from the first-team defense would add a wonderful spice to an increasingly flavorful preseason.

Photo courtesy Jonathan Newton/Washington Post