Thursday, September 15, 2005

The Ballad of Patrick Ramsey

By now everyone knows of the demotion of the Pharaoh Ramsey. Oy, it hurt. While it remains to be seen whether it is the right choice for Washington, what is clear is that it was a choice poorly timed and insensitively made. At least, that's what I'm arguing over at Hog Heaven.

I had originally considered writing this to the tune of Prince's "Alphabet Street" or Van Halen's "Panama," but time constraints proved prohibitive. So, with apologies to Robert Frost, e. e. cummings and Chuck D, I present


This is the Ballad of Ramsey
star of the school Tulane
Of how his star was the brightest
now dim and ne'er the same

'02 the Skins drafted Patrick
his strong right arm the news
He spent his time subbing Wuerffel
worse only to Shane Matthews

'03 he started for Spurrier
("offensive architect")
The Fun 'n Gun's glaring weakness
was that it didn't protect

Oh! were the hits from the Eagles and
Cowboys and Bills and Bucs!
But Ramsey not once complained, tho'
it clear the offense sucked

Poor Ramsey was left to flounder
slow rising from his sacks;
Writers pitied this young hero
often getting shellacked

His Joeness returned in '04
new hope began to swell;
Fo'ty million later, who should start
but past-his-time Brunell!

So Ramsey again sat sidelined,
losses began to mount;
Returned Week 10 'cuz Mark's rating's
too low to even count

Coach Gibbs was quite impressed with him
"He starts for us next year!"
But post-draft day some wondered if
his promise was sincere

"Ramsey's our guy" the coach assured,
sanguine in his stance;
but truth be told, his words were cold
he never had a chance

The leash was decept'vely short
fair shake it didn't approach;
how apt to be blindsided by
the man he called his coach?

So now he knows, his time draws close
the faith in him shown lack;
not what it seems, this thing called team
Godspeed and don't look back.

1 comment:

  1. The other Jones boy8:31 AM

    Who are you people?