Tuesday, October 16, 2001

Return of the Z-Minuses...

I remember a couple of years ago when Washington had an absolutely bangin' team. They were something like 7 or 8-0, rolling over opponents. While they weren't expected to challenge the unbeaten record of the '72 Miami Dolphins, the Skins had become a force to be reckoned with. Looked like nobody could beat them. There was one team, though, which had everybody nervous--and we couldn't figure out why. It was the 0 -for everything Dallas Cowboys.

The Cowboys won a grand total of ONE game that year. They went 1-15. Guess who they beat? Though the Skins kicked butt the rest of the season, giving a pitiful Cowchips team a victory felt horrible. It was as if Skins fans would've traded in 3 or 4 victories (heck, we didn't need 'em) to sweep the Cowgirls that year. What a revoltin' feeling.

I feel pretty safe stating that after yesterday's game, we've reached the true bottom. No feeling's worse than this one. This is the Zenith of Ineptitude, the Height of Horrificness, indeed the Peak of Piss-Poor Play. (I made that last one up.) If there was to be any joy in D.C. for the Redskins, there needed to be a victory (not a drubbing or blowout, be even a squeaker would do). They failed to show any heart, any discipline, or any hope. Pre-game, the Skins players talked about "salvaging the season" and "there are lots of games left to play."

No, you can't, and no, there aren't.

Redskins 2001 season? Over. Done. Kaput. When you can't beat a team as woefully backward as the Emmitt Smith (who is, by the way, 80 years old) led Cowboys, then those yahoos on the field don't deserve to be donning the burgundy and gold. Really. I'd rather see the scrub team from '83 play than these half-stepping chumps (who make 100x what I do). This horse needs to be taken out to the hills of Shenandoah and promptly put to sleep.

Sigh...OK, offense was horrible. Banks overthrew, dropped back too far, mishandled snaps, called THE SAME AUDIBLE twice, and um, oh yeah, sucked. Stephen Davis was the usual workhorse, and I forgive him for that fumble. These things happen, but is it me or does Davis fumble at THE most inopportune times? Like on the goal line, or near the end of a game? Riggins never did this. I hate to criticize the man because he and Darrell Green are the ONLY players acting like they want to play football in DC. But ay carumba he gives it up during the worst times. Michael "Paycheck" Westbrook might as well be on another team. He didn't even finish his routes when Banks overthrew, as if he didn't want to bother expending the energy. Somebody needs to beat him up.

Defense, according to the scoreboard, did well. They didn't. Dallas is just that bad. Emmitt and their 2nd back had like 1000 yards against the D, and we lost Smoot (who wasn't doing all that well to begin with) to injury. The D gave up yards when it needed to make a stand. I bet Bruce Smith's recovery will take a reeaaal long time; like 'til the end of the year. I cringe when I think of Denver's offense stepping on the field against us.

Special teams did aiight, though their first-time-returning-kicks returner did better than our guy. Sigh...

In the hallowed halls of RFK & FedEx Field, this season will be largely, and purposefully, forgotten. Heads must roll.

COACHES: Z- (Fire 'em all. Every stinkin' one of them. Our D was ranked 4th last year. Fire them now.)

Mr. Jones

PS I will have my bag ready for Sunday's game. Complete with drawn-on tears.

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