Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Dished Revenge Leaves Dallas Cold & Bitter

I have a bone to pick with Dallas fans. Before I delve into sophomoric name-calling, let me state that most Cowchip fans are law-abiding, tax-paying persons of common sensibilities. They just root for the wrong team. And I pity you.

But some of the other fans don't know what in the world they're talking about. Even when they're down, they have to find a way to pick on the Redskins. To wit: I've been reading some Dallas fan sites, scanning to see their analysis of their suddenly-.500 team. What do I inevitably see? Skins-bashing. They say that we've been lucky for two straight weeks, that our offense is dismal. My MVN colleague Will Parchman runs the Cowboy Roundup site, and dared say that the Redskins were the "worst 3-0 team in recent memory."


I couldn't help myself. I logged in and posted the following:

I’m certain that Cowchip fans were searching for Quaaludes or something when the Redskins/Seahawks stats were shown. The Skins dominated the game for much of the contest, controlling the clock and dictating the tempo. Apart from a blocked figgie and a tipped interception, our game wasn’t all that close. (Of course Dallas fans remember the MNF debacle when you owned Washington statistically but laid up late at night wondering how you lost.) The ‘Hawks and Cowchips are playoff-caliber teams, right?

If winning three close games makes us the worst team ever, so be it. We’d rather be bad and undefeated than America’s Team and .500!

In all seriousness, if scoring points made your team great, then the Indianapolis Colts would be the '72 Dolphins and the Kansas City Chiefs would have three fantastic seasons of success. But neither is true because, well, there's more to football than buckets of points. You think that the 2005 New England Patriots wouldn't love to be undefeated? Think they'd excuse their victories if they weren't all against Indy and the Steelers? Of course not. Nor shall Washington verbally forfeit their wins.

What I love about Washington's two recent victories is that the naysayer's dire predictions (they can't win because of the quarterback position) have been safely detonated offshore via the play of Mark Brunell. Indeed, it's been because of his scrambling and accurate throwing--two abilities few thought he still possessed--that we are undefeated. His legs may give out before season's end, but my hat's off to him. Watching him on Sunday and on Monday Night Football was pure magic.

And not to put too fine a point on this, but how bad can Washington be if they beat Dallas? Is it our fault if your safeties and corners get beaten twice on the same play by the same player? Did we tell Patrick Crayton to run a three yard route on fourth and four?

Well, now I and my fellow Redskins fans are past such post hoc reasoning. In fact, up here in the Undefeated Atmosphere, your pitiful ramblings are nothing more than angry, gentle murmurings that give us peaceful rest. Kind of like soft rain. See, when you take the moral high ground, there's no need to stoop to poking fun and calling names.

But y'all are ugly and your mother dresses you funny.


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  2. the other Mr. Jones9:43 AM

    The Cowchip fans are just too busy drinking haterade. I pity them like those who find a lost, dirty puppy. You feel like you would want to help them out, but there's NO WAY it's coming in your house with the white carpet.

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